


Love Me Instead

by Breii



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2park- besties or, College AU, Enjoy reading, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, allwink, it's basically jihoon's harem, nielwink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:03:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breii/pseuds/Breii
Summary: Jihoon is in his 2nd year of university but his fear of social settings still haunts him.He catches an unwanted attention from Daniel, who is also the bestfriend of his crush, Seongwoo.Will Jihoon be able to survive his 2nd year of uni in one piece?





	1. I Heard You

Crazy wasn't the only word to describe him, but it's the first thing you'll notice.

It was the way he held himself, Jihoon thought. Amidst the cluster of students who were desperate to avoid  even the slightest rejection and exclusion, the tall guy stood his ground. Park Jihoon stared, waiting, and observing him.

_How long can he stand there?_

Jihoon had spotted the guy through the library's glass window, just standing outside, looking like a runway model. 

 _No headphones, no phone in hand, not even a book_ , Jihoon noted.

In addition, the guy had no intention to blend with the crowd. He stood out like a sore thumb, though much more gorgeous, wearing full on black leather jacket and ripped pants.

 _Crazy, t_ o Jihoon, at least,  _I'll die if I stood out like that._

Jihoon checked his watch for the time, _I need to get to lecture_.

He quickly got up from the table he had been occupying for the last hour, and packed his notebooks inside his bag thinking,

_That means the guy had been standing there for a good hour... I admire him but still it's crazy._

The boy pushed the library doors open and stared ahead in the direction of the crowd.

_So many people...._

Anxiety already building up, his heartbeat already accelerating rapidly.

 _Just a 5 minutes walk, it's going to be fine,_ he tried to reassure himself.

Putting his small hands inside the pockets of his jacket, Jihoon started to walk.

 _Even your breathing. Don't walk too fast,_ he reminds himself.

Jihoon took out the phone in his hand as naturally as he could pretending to check the time, and avoiding gazes. He felt his shoes dragging on the ground. The boy could feel his bones and his joint awkwardly moving.

 _Am I walking weirdly?_ He checked his shoes.

He continued to look at the ground feeling that everyone can tell the panic and mess inside him. He felt himself getting smaller and smaller.

 _I want to run away,_ Jihoon cried and strongly gripped his phone tighter and looked forward to a pretend destination in the air pass the intimidating crowd _._ _Almost there. Just keep walking. Look normal._

From the corner of his eye, he gets a glimpse of the same guy still standing there silently and calmly which irked Jihoon.

 _At least pretend to be waiting for someone,_ just looking at him made the boy more anxious

To his surprise, the said guy suddenly turns his head and looks directly at Jihoon, his pair of eyes filled with curiosity. The small boy  ignored and kept to his pace which got harder to do as he got closer to where the tall guy stood. He felt his piercing gaze still tailing him and a smile creeping up on the stranger's face.

_Goddammit, stop staring at me-_

"Don't want to," the tall guy piped in and interjected as he assertively blocked Jihoon's way with his hand.

 _What?_ Jihoon, shaken and alarmed, trailed the hand in front of him up a muscular torso, the neck, and a baby faced stranger smiling at him. Jihoon noticed the mole near his eyes and confirmed it was the same guy he had been observing during his break.

_Holy shit... Did this crazy guy just answer my-_

"Say," the tall guy cut Jihoon's monologue and, sounding almost insulted, he continued, "do I really seem that crazy to you?"The stranger crooked his neck sideways wondering and anticipating the other's answer.

"Um..uh...I.." Jihoon was speechless but more so dumbfounded, his heart almost bursting out of his chest from the unexpected interaction with the stranger.

Jihoon made a futile attempt to relax himself just like how he had learned from those self-training videos for anxiety. He shakes off his head, coils his hand so tight, blood rushed towards them, took a deep breath an tried again, "I...Ah..I..-"

"What? Cat got your tongue?" The guy jokingly laughed at him, Jihoon sees the guy's eyes smiling from ear to ear.

Jihoon was starting to hyperventilate with every syllable,""..I...ahh...I..."

Few people in the crowd had heard him and stared in concern. Pairs of eyes so unknown and daunting focusing on the small boy, only left him trembling. Jihoon knew so well the feelings of the stares. But instead of sympathy, he felt judgement from their attention.

His own eyes were now fixed on the stranger's screaming for help.

"Ya, " the tall guy started to look concern. His eyebrows furrowed as he leaned closer to Jihoon's flushed face. The boy was looking at him but not really "seeing" him. The stranger could hear the turmoil going on Jihoon's head and paralyzing him to think clearly.

 

_Everyone's staring at me._

_They'll think I'm a fucking weirdo now!_

_Why can't I stop trembling?!_

 

Jihoon could barely hear the tall guy talking to him, much less notice him inching closer and closer to him.

"Ya! Are you ok?" The tall guy held him by the arms and shook him out of his thoughts.

The small boy's breathing became harder and harder as more people took notice of him. And the louder he got, the more people turned to check what was going on. He knew so well this vicious cycle but the poor boy is losing control and had started to become lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. Amidst his thoughts, and the crowd that stared at him, he saw the leather jacket guy's pair of eyes, glued at him. But, Jihoon didn't feel any sign or hint of malice from them. Feeling trapped from the murmurs of the crowd that deafened Jihoon, the guy's eyes locks hold of him and drowns the noise. Jihoon clung to him,

 _Help,_ he squealed inside.

 _"_ Ok, ok, I got it," the stranger, still holding onto him, gently leads him away from the crowd and into the back of a building.

Jihoon couldn't think clearly and simply let the guy lead him. He was leaned on the wall and he sees the other guy, who was evidently taller, bend down to match his height. Jihoon could see the guy open his mouth and heard him say,

"Follow me, ok?" The voice was deep and reassuring.

The guy motioned with his hand, "Inhale....now hold it....then exhale."

Jihoon obediently followed. He raised his head trying to inhale as much air as possible, then stops....his mouth puckers into an O as he exhale, with his shoulders gradually slouching as his lungs ran out of breath. 

A smile had now appeared on the stranger's face which somehow relaxed and comforted the boy's senses.

_Everything's going to be fine...everything's going to be fine...._

"Yes, everything will be alright. No one's here to judge you. It's only the two of us. Now, I need you to do it again, inhale..," the guy's hand motioned up and Jihoon follows, "hold it...exhale. Great! Excellent. Again, inha-"

"I,"  Jihoon slowly freed his arms from the guy's hold, "I think I'm good now."

He pauses to even his breathing and before the silent got to loud uttered, "th....thank you."

"Oh," the guy moves his hands away and straightened his knees, "oh, ok. No problem."

Jihoon sees the stranger give him a smile as bigger as the one before, showing his two front teeth in display. The jolly personality of the other was such a contrast to the rocker outfit he was wearing, Jihoon noticed.

The stranger let out a laugh of relief, "Phew, good to hear your fine. You gave me a scare there for a second!"

"I'm sorry," Jihoon wraps his hand around one arm feeling bad for making a scene and dragging the guy along with him.

_I'm such a loser._

"No, no," the stranger's hands frantically signaled an X, "I'm sorry for jumping on you like that."

Jihoon pauses for a second, _Well_ , _yeah, now that I think about it, it was your fault._

"I know, I know, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you'd be that shocked."

_Who wouldn't?! You just approached me out of nowhere!_

"You were talking about me the whole time so I got too familiar. I could hear your voice but I just didn't know where you were. So when I finally saw you walking towards me I got too excited. Hahaha...," the tall guy scratches the back of his head knowing how absurd he sounded just now, "My bad. I should really take note. I got so used to listening to people speak inside their head sometimes I forget it isn't actually a two-way conversation."

Jihoon looked at the guy bewildered and stunned as he had noticed he hasn't actually been opening his mouth and talking for some time now.

_This guy..._

"It's Daniel. Kang Daniel," Daniel held out his hand for a handshake like it was the most normal thing in the world and that Jihoon should just take it, accept it, and move on.

But, no, unfortunately Jihoon's mind had a hard time wrapping its logic and reasoning from the situation. His face flushed red once again as Jihoon's breathing started becoming heavy and fast-paced for the second time.

_Are you reading my mind right now?!_

"Shoot! Oh no!" Kang Daniel tried to comfort the boy, his hands desperately and clumsily gesturing him to calm down, "Relax! It's no big deal! See?! You barely even noticed I was doing it, right?!" But it was too late, as Jihoon had already lost himself in the chaos brewing in his  mind.

 _No. This is impossible._ His thoughts were racing all over the place, mostly in denial as a coping mechanism.  _This isn't real, it's just a dream,_ he pinched the thin layer of flesh on top of his hand and flinched from the sharp pain, _ouch! ok, Not a dream. But it's just hallucinations then... Uh-huh, it's probably stress. Yes, my mom's right, you need sleep to function properly._

"Uhm. Please, don't disregard my existence," Daniel insisted as he watched and listened to the small guy forcedly ignore his presence, "I know it's weird and everything but- uhm, are you listening?"

Jihoon could hear the hallucination talk but he avoided its gaze.

 _No, he's not real,_ Jihoon tells himself.

"Yes, I am. See?" Daniel pokes Jihoon's cheeks which were bright red.

Jihoon pretended to not feel the warmth from the other's touch. Acknowledging it would only validated the existence of the other as an actual living person.

He awkwardly looks at his watch instead and with exaggerated gestures segued, "Oh, look at the time..,"  and started backing away,"I- I'm late for my lecture! I better go!"

Jihoon, took off and ran as fast as he could back into the crowd, and as far away from this Daniel as possible. The uncertainty in the crowd was much tolerable for Jihoon than the uncertainty that was Kang Daniel.

Daniel called out to the small boy "Wait! Your name?!" but he was too late.

Jihoon had scampered away, leaving the guy with only the glimpse of a boy wearing an oversized shirt and running for his life before quickly being engulfed by the sea of college students.

Daniel sighed as he combed his head back, "Aissh, too bad, he was really cute."

He looked down on his hand which had touched the boy's bright red and hot face, "No, he was TOTALLY cute." He glaced back at the sea of crowd once again and smiled under his breath, "I'll catch you next time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to be continued in ch.2 
> 
> I should be doing my readings for uni but instead i'm writing college au kmn >.<
> 
> Anyway thnx for reading ^-^ hope u enjoyed the first chapter~!


	2. Notice me seongwoo-hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some korean vocab used:
> 
> sunbae: is a word that refers to people with more experience in this case, seniority in school  
> hoobae: refers to people with less experience (students just beginning school)  
> -ssi: a suffix added to a name meaning Mr/Miss. It can also be used to address a friend that has just been introduced to you recently  
> dongsaeng: how you could address someone younger than you are  
> chingu: friend

Jihoon was out of breath but he managed to reach his lecture hall and lose Kang Daniel in the crowd. The whole episode still boggled his mind but he was never good in handling stress. The most he could do is,  _Ignore it if you don't understand it._  But what he does know for sure was that he was late for a class. He holds the doorknob but thought twice about it,  _This is the front of the class. If I enter from here, everyone would be staring at me._ Jihoon shivers at the thought.

He lets go of the doorknob and proceeded to go around the long way in order to get in through the back door. Just as he was about to step in the room, he hears a man calling his name,

"JI-HOO-NIE!"

Jihoon knew the voice fairly too well and his heart skipped a beat in response. He turned his head but two long arms grab him from the back and pulls him into an embrace before he could fully do so.

"Seo- Seongwoo-hyung!" Jihoon squirmed and tried to free himself from the older one but Seongwoo refused to let go and only tightened the hold on the other.

"You in a rush Prince Jihoon?" Seongwoo chirped from behind.

"Ye- yes I am! I'm already late for my class hyung!" Jihoon felt the need to get out of the close contact with Seongwoo.

_This isn't good for my heart._

The small boy realized that his hyung is hugging him from the back and the butterflies flooded in his stomach. And moreover, Seongwoo's hands were resting just on top of his chest. Jihoon looked at the hands that binded him and worried they would notice his rapid and frantic heartbeat.

"Huh?" Seongwoo glanced down at Jihoon and saw that the other is drenched in sweat.

"Our Prince Jihoon, let me, a peasant wipe thou beads of sweat upon thy precious face," Ong Seongwoo teases Jihoon as he frees one of the hand embracing the younger boy and gently, he blotted up the sweat.

"Hyung, stop with the prince, it's not funny anymore." Jihoon cried. He was beyond tired of constantly being reminded about his horrible memory during their faculty's welcoming party.

"Really? Cuz everytime I remember, it sure does cheer me up," Seongwoo snickered. He dabs the sweat that collected on Jihoon's forehead and noticed how flushed the other looked, "By the way, you're face is really red Jihoonie," Seongwoo pointed out.

 _And you're not really helping with that hyung,_ Jihoon felt like he was being tortured at the moment.

"I had to run to class," Jihoon manage to make an excuse. 

"Oh? Why? You fell asleep or something?" Seongwoo continued to diligently wiped his face but this only resulted to more buckets of sweating from the younger boy. Every physical contact with Ong Seongwoo would send the boy's temperature on fire.

"Uh...no, just run into a bit of trouble along the way. No big deal," he mumbled not really focus on the question but rather on keeping his heart from exploding.

"Oh ok. Well, anyway, the reason why I'm here," Seongwoo relaxes his arms and lets go of the other. Jihoon was more than relieved as he was finally able to breathe, only to be turned 180 degrees by his hyung.

Seongwoo, who he was now facing, grabs him by the arm and went on, "I need to ask you a favour."

The older boy gave the Jihoon a wide smile that seemed almost sure the other wouldn't reject. Jihoon was familiar with the smile as he would always get a first row seat during its viewing everytime Seongwoo-hyung needed his help.

 _It's hard to say no towards Seongwoo-hyung,_ Jihoon admitted to himself.

Seongwoo checked his phone and took note of the time, "You know what, since my class is also starting, I'll have to tell you later instead." Seongwoo abruptly inched closer to the boy, which made Jihoon's stomach twist and turn. Seongwoo-hyung raised his hand to pet Jihoon's hair and proceeded down to combed and fixed his bangs.

"Looks better," Seongwoo smiled and turned the boy to face the door to the lecture hall again.

"Meet me during lunch in the food court after your class. You know the tables near the vending machines," he walked ahead and opened the door to Jihoon, and as he mimicked a butler's bow, he never misses an opportunity to tease the younger boy, "I'll see you later my prince."

Jihoon was just barely able to respond with an, "Uh-huh," as he choke on his hyung's words.

 _My prince,_  he repeated to himself.

By the time the small boy was able to sit down for his lecture, his face had become a bright red tomato, with a heart that's been butchered and revived by Ong Seungwoo.

 _Lunch with Seongwoo-hyung..._ The boy couldn't hide his excitement and smiled as he unzipped his bag open. He took out his laptop, turned it on, and proceeded to calm himself down as he redirected his focused on the lecture.

A walk that should have taken Jihoon a mere five minutes had spiraled into a series of events that the boy could only begin to imagine.

\---------------------

After class, Jihoon speed-walked his way to the cafeteria, trying his best to look casual like all the other students. They always seem to have their lives together to Jihoon's perspective and so the boy attempted to mirror their nonchalant air. He can never last long enough though, putting up an act had always been too tiring for him.

When he reached the place, he made his way towards the vending machines. He stopped and tiptoed to scan through dozens of heads looking for his hyung.

"Over here!" Jihoon squinted and discovered Seongwoo smiling like an idiot with both arms flying in the air.

 _Shoot, he's so cute,_  Jihoon smiled shyly on the ground and walked towards his hyung.

"Cute? Seongwoo? I can't believe you put those two things together." Jihoon jumped from surprise at the voice that came from behind.

Seongwoo directed his gaze at the person behind Jihoon and marveled, "Oh! Chingu! Great! Both of you are here!" The small boy followed Seongwoo's gaze, turned and saw a tall guy wearing a leather jacket standing behind him.

_Kang... Kang Daniel?!_

Daniel responded with a smile and a wink.

"Ya! Are you already hitting on people on your first day?" Seongwoo laughed and walked over to Daniel greeting him with a handshake and a hug, "Welcome to Dankook University bro! So glad you could make it."

"Seongwoo-hyung, you know him?" Jihoon's voice was baffled, he couldn't believe his hyung would be associated with a psycho.

"Yeah, we went to highschool together. Let me introduce you two, this is Kang Daniel, he'll be joining us for lunch. And Daniel, this is Park Jihoon, my cute dongsaeng."

Jihoon couldn't bother listening to the last part, he was disappointed. "But Seongwoo-hyung, I thought...," Jihoon couldn't possibly continue,  _I thought it was only the two us._

Daniel looked at the boy and furrowed his eyebrow which alarmed Jihoon.  _Did he hear me?_ The small boy quickly avoided the gaze and stared at his feet instead.

Seongwoo looked at each of them, "Hm? Why? Is anything wrong?"

Daniel still eyeing Jihoon decided to pick on the poor boy. He begins, "Well, he's probably disappointed because-"

"No-nothing!," the boy glared at Daniel then turned to Seongwoo with a smile, "It's nothing hyung, I'm just really starving right now!"

"Well, if you say so," Seongwoo grinned at Jihoon and continued, "We can't let our prince stay hungry, can we? Let's go get food~" Seongwoo led the two with his fist raised in the air.

Jihoon forced a laugh, "Hahaha... Let's go...," imitating his hyung, but with much less spirit.

To which Daniel raised an eyebrow and Jihoon quickly shoots down,  _Shut your trap, if you say even one word about things in my head, I swear to god I won't think twice reporting you as a research subject to the science department!_ Jihoon threatened him and added, _They'll have so much fun dissecting that brain of yours!_

But the other boy could only focus on how adorable the other was. He had a hard time stopping himself from giggling. When Daniel was able to recollect himself, he gestured his mouth being zipped, and gave the boy an okay hand signal.

 _Good._ Jihoon trotted to catch up with Seongwoo and called out, "Seongwoo-hyung, wait for me!"

Daniel watched Jihoon with his oversize shirt and short legs trying to catch up with Seongwoo, "God, he's so cute."

\---------------------------

 

Ever since they sat down at the table, Jihoon had made the effort to stop thinking. One could only imagine how hard and impossible the task was. But because his Seongwoo-hyung was beside him, Jihoon's situation was practically hopeless.

"So the reason, I wanted to talk to you," Seongwoo picked up his fried chicken in between his chopsticks and gently placed it on Jihoon's plate.

Jihoon marveled at the friend chicken and looked at his Seongwoo-hyung.

"Hyung?"

Seongwoo smiled at Jihoon and continued, "I need to ask you a favour."

 _Of course._  But the boy didn't mind, he could do almost anything for his hyung.

Jihoon could hear Seongwoo's mouth moving but he's focus was on the pair of eyes smiling at him.  _God, he's really gorgeous._ Jihoon traces Seongwoo's eyes down to his tall nose and down his lips.

Seongwoo suddenly brings his face too close to the boy, "-are you listening, Jihoonie?"

Startled, Jihoon chocked on the fried chicken he was eating,

\--cough!cough!---"Bluieurch!!" ---cough!----

"You ok?!," Seongwoo urgently pat Jihoon's back, "Slow down and eat properly!"

Daniel who had been silently listening laughed at the boy and started choking on his own food,

"Bleurghch!" ---cough! cough! cough!---- Daniel struggled to reach for the glass of water.

Seongwoo looked at the other, "You too?" He slides the glass closer to his friend and hissed, "Cant you guys chew your food properly? I do have a first aid certificate but I can't possibly save both of you at the same time." Now that Seongwoo thought about it, "My certificate had already expired five years ago, I don't even know how to do CPR anymore, "he trails off, "I can't even save one of you!"

 

\------

 

 

When the two recovered and were eating again, Seongwoo continued, "I was saying, Jihoon, would it be possible if you could help Daniel here around the school? Some things came up so.. Um... this guy's only in his first year." Seongwoo was obviously hesitant to explain further. He changed the tone of his voice to sound much more cheerful," You just have to help him adjust with basic things. Just tour him around, tutor him, teach him how university works and other stuff he needs help with? Like a...," Seongwoo searched for the word, "just like a sunbae!"

"Huh? Me? Why can't you do that yourself hyung?"

The last thing Jihoon wanted was to associate himself with the mind reading psycho. Jihoon wonders if Seongwoo even knew how his friends with a psychic. 

"I would if only I had the time. But I have my thesis to worry about and I still have courses to add since I switched major this year. I would never in my life oh so greatly burden someone with taking care of this guy, believe me when I say this, but I have no other choice."

"I'm offended," Daniel chirped in trying to sound hurt.

Jihoon wanted to believe both of them, but it was hard seeing the expression Seongwoo has on his face, not even caring, as he munch on his kimchi. And then there was Daniel smiling, obviously amused with the situation, and had been stealing glances of Jihoon from the very beginning. 

"And, in addition," Seongwoo swallowed his food, "I'm not even in the same major as you guys now."

Jihoon pondered searching for any reason to avoid being involve in the situation, "Isn't that awkward though, Daniel-ssi? Wouldn't u be uncomfortable if i treat u like a hoobae?"

Daniel was quick to answer, "Not at all, I'd be grateful to have a sunbae like Jihoon. And just call me hyung, I don't mind that either,"the older boy fondly smiling at him.

Seongwoo clasped his hand together in conclusion,  "It's settled then."

"Wait, Seongwoo-hyung -" the small boy felt like he was being pulled into a scam.

"I'll be in your care, Jihoon- **sunbae** ," Daniel putting an emphasis as he uttered sunbae and slightly bowing his head in respect.

Jihoon cringed at the word, his insides swimming with feelings the boy felt was very close to disgust,  _I dare you to say that again,_ he intentionally sends a message as he glared at his self-proclaimed new hoobae.

Daniel opened his mouth, "Jihoon," and a smile creep into his face, "-sunbae."

Seongwoo felt the tension between the two and asked, "Is everything ok? Why do you keep calling his name?"

His friend simply replied, "Just so I don't forget."

"If you say so. And drop the sunbae," Seongwoo instructed, "Jihoon might feel burdened."

Jihoon looks at his Seongwoo-hyung with admiration glowing in his pupils,  _Hyung..._

Daniel rolled his eyes in response getting fed up with the small boy's constant doting and affection to the other.

Seongwoo turned to Jihoon to confirm, "Right Jihoon?"

The small boy nods his head, "Yes hy-"

"-sunbae," Seongwoo added before Jihoon could finish replying, deciding to join and poke fun at his dongsaeng. 

"HAHAHAHA! Oh no! Jihoon-sunbae is getting mad at us!" Seongwoo continued to tease him. He turns to Daniel, and both snickered and giggled as they high-five each other.

 _They're right,_ Jihoon thought as he watched both hyungs laughing at him, _Birds of the same feather do flock together._

"Uhm... Seongwoo-oppa?" a girl's voice interrupted the three.

"Ya?" Seongwoo wipes the tears from his laughing fit and takes a look at their visitor.

"Oh... Uhm.. Hi," the girl standing by their table bows 90 degrees.

"Hi, Jinhee!" He turned to Jihoon and Daniel and introduced the girl, "this is Jinhee. She's in the same classes as me. She's been helping me with my courses and giving me tips on my requirements ever since I moved to the law department. Jinhee, this is Jihoon and Daniel, my servants."

The two ignored the comment, and greeted Jinhee with a nod and a smile.

 "What do I owe the pleasure on meeting you on this fine day, my lady?"

Daniel gags and pretended to vomit. On the other hand, Jihoon was at the edge of his seat, ears perked.

"Well, there's an Alumni-Student Luncheon in the Great Hall. I was thinking maybe you'd be interested in going with me," Jihoon was irked when he noticed the girl blushing, "it's a great way to get connections, our professors will also be there, so... I think it would be a great opportunity if we go," the girl insisted.

"Was that today?!" Seongwoo completely forgot about the event.

"Uh, ya, it's starting in about 10 minutes," Jinhee rechecked her watch.

"Oh shoot! We better get going then," Seongwoo grabbed his bag and his food tray, "Sorry Jihoon, I'm going to have to leave you with this goofball. Daniel-ah , I'll catch up with you later. Play nice both of you, ok?"

Jihoon glared as he watched his Seongwoo-hyung gets drag away by Jinhee.

_Bitch had the nerve interrupting my lunch with Seongwoo-hyung._

"BHWAHAHAHAHA!!" Daniel bursted into a hysterical laugh at a salty and petty Jihoon.

 _And then there's this guy_ , Jihoon hissed. He had enough for the day. He stood up with his food tray and bag, and left Daniel who was sprawled at the table, dying from laughter and attracting too much attention that Jihoon would rather avoid. 

"HAhaha...Wai-wait! Hahaha," Daniel called out, holding his stomach that was hurting from all the laughter but the small boy wouldn't bother looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued in ch 3
> 
> Took longer than I thought. It's so difficult writing a scene with 3 ppl >.<
> 
> Hope u enjoyed this chapter~


	3. Who's stray puppy is this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon tries to run away as Daniel and Guanlin both desperately ask for his help in school.... 
> 
> But is that really all they want from the boy?

 In the crowded hall that connected the Student Center and the cafeteria, a small boy was making a great effort to speed-walk away from a man who was tailing him like a lost puppy.

"Jihoon! Wait!" Kang Daniel cried from behind.

He disregarded the plea and kept on walking. Stopping wasn't even an option, Jihoon could see his comfy bedroom waiting for him. If only he could escape the stampede of students and perhaps catch the next bus he'll be miles away from the mind-reading psycho that Seongwoo had thrown at him.

_Why should I wait?! Stop following me! And can you lower your voice? People are looking cuz you're too darn loud._

 As the boy avoided the gazes that may or may not have been directed at the two of them, he wondered if his day could get any worse. By some coincidence played by the gods out of boredom, he sees a familiar silhouette of a tall and petite figure a few yards ahead of him. 

"Oh shoot!" 

He halted and U-turned only to bump and tripped into Kang Daniel.

"Whoa, are you ok?" Daniel caught the boy by the shoulders.

Jihoon pushed Daniel away and tried to regain his balance. He clumsily went around him and hid behind the older boy's back.

"Wha- What are you doing?"

Daniel was surprised by the sudden grab of the small boy onto him. He was by no means complaining but he was flustered by the turn of events, one moment he was running away and next he was attached to his back like a koala. 

"Shhh!" Jihoon tucks his head  behind the older boy's back and urged him to keep walking,  _There's someone I'm trying to avoid, just act normal and head towards the exit!_

"O-ok," the older boy obeyed but his joints and limbs began to move out of sync, awkwardly his arms swayed with the same leg that he raised. 

_Why are you walking like a robot?!_

"It's too much pressure! When you told me to walk normal, I forgot how to!"

_What the hell? That doesn't even make sense!_

"Jihoon-hyung?" a familiar voice called out from the crowd. Jihoon closed his eyes and prayed.

_Please go away. Please go away. Please go away..._

The owner of the voice maneuvered his way through the mob of students and walked to where Daniel and Jihoon had paused in the midst of escaping.

"JIHOON-HYUNG! It's really you!" he cheerfully confirmed.

 _Aish...Darn it._ Jihoon cursed at the gods.

He turned around forcing smile, "Oh, Guanlin... Didn't expect to see you here." 

"I know, same here! I'm so happy to see you!" Guanlin goes in for a hug giving the boy a tight squeeze before letting his hands fall and grab onto Jihoon's arms.

 _Eeek,_ Jihoon squirmed under.  

"I've been trying to look for you all week! I also sent you texts, have you read them?"

"... y- you did?" 

Jihoon suddenly remembered the mental image of the notifications he got prior to today. He felt bad forgetting the messages he had put aside fully knowing he probably won't go through them ever. He always had a problem with being invited into places, he doesn't want to go and yet he doesn't want to reject the other. In the end, the messages were left unanswered.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy all week, and my phone's having problems with signal and..stuff," he scratched the back of his head trying to ignore how obvious his lies were and continued, "Is it urgent?"

Guanlin didn't seem to catch the dishonesty in Jihoon's voice, either that or he simply overlooked and let it slide. 

"Really? That's a bummer then. Don't worry about it, it was nothing important, I just wanted to talk to you, hyung." Guanlin blushes as he locked eyes with the boy.

"Ahem! Ahem!" Daniel forced a cough to interrupt the two. He had found himself standing just quietly observing all day. He wondered whether he also had the power to turn invisible or was Jihoon just too mesmerizing to others.

"Huh?...who's this?"

Jihoon bats an eye at Daniel,  _A mind-reader who wouldn't leave me alone._

Daniel returns the look and answered instead, "I'm Kang Daniel, majoring in psychology."

"Oh!"  Guanlin holds out his hand for a shake, "You're in the same major as us! It's nice to meet you Daniel."

Jihoon held Guanlin's hand instead, and gently brought it down, "That's Daniel-hyung for you, and a bow for respect."

"AH! I'm so sorry! It's a pleasure to meet you hyungnim," he obediently bows waist-deep, his arms straightened at the sides of his legs.

"Now, you're just too much," Jihoon pat Guanlin's back, "he's an international first year student from Taiwan, so do forgive him."

Daniel laughed at the bumbling goofiness of the boy and gestured for him to stand back up, "It's ok, it's ok, no offense taken. It's also nice to meet you."

"YA GUANLIN! ARE YOU GONNA TAKE LONGER?!" A group of students yelled from where Guanlin had come from, frantically motioning the boy to hurry up.

He shouted back at them, "Just give me a second!"

He quickly focused his attention back at Jihoon and asked, "Anyway, are you free right now? Do you wanna grab a coffee?"  

"Uhm...," Jihoon glanced at the impatiently looking group of students, "Aren't you're friends waiting for you?"

He couldn't understand why the boy even bothered asking.

"It's fine I can just let them go first," he smiled shyly at his hyung, "that's if you say yes, of course."

"Ah i see... well, uhm I would really love to but you see," Jihoon hesitantly pieced together excuses he could come up with, it wasn't in his principles to lie but he just couldn't spend another few hours outside the comfort of his blanket, "I'm giving Daniel-hyung a tour of the school right now..."

Daniel was puzzled, his eyes widened in surprise. He silently mouthed, "You are?"

Jihoon ignored him and simply continued, "He just started today so it would be better for him to familiarize himself with all the buildings and such...So yeah. I'm sorry, I can't today."

"Oh," Guanlin exhaled, obviously heartbroken, "Maybe next time?"

"Ya, for sure." 

Awkward silence fell, Guanlin was unsure and worried whether his hyung would stick to his words. His worries were very much justified as this wasn't the first time Jihoon had gone missing in action with him. He always had to make the effort to see Jihoon or else the boy would just disappear on him. He didn't understand why his hyung would rather spend time by himself than hang out with him.

"Since you're having problems with your phone, I'll contact you through e-mail, ok?"

"Uh.. ok, I'll check them when I get home."

Jihoon wished the boy would just take his leave but Guanlin's feet was firmly planted beside his.

The boy tentatively tapped his phone resting on his hand and persisted, "How about tomorrow, hyung, are you free?"

"Maybe..," Jihoon bites his lower lip, "I'll have to see..."

"Ok," he pauses, "just let me know."

Guanlin remembered something and opened his bag, he looked and rummaged through his stuff. 

"Ah! Here we go," He takes Jihoon's hand and  gives him a kimbap.

"What's this?" Jihoon looks at the cylindrical aluminum foil now in the palm of his hand.

"You're going to walk around the campus, right? In case hyung gets hungry..." Guanlin scratches his neck, embarrassed.

"YA! LAI GUANLIN!!!" His friends were very much pass their patience limit.

"I guess I better get going then..." Guanlin started bidding his goodbye yet his feet were undeniably heavy and unmoving. He stalls as he tug the edges of his long sleeves, "It was really nice seeing you today Jihoon-hyung," 

"Same here. But you really should go, you're friends will get mad at this rate," Jihoon couldn't help feeling guilty for holding back Guanlin. It's his fault he's been avoiding and ignoring the poor boy. He felt it was his responsible to at least reassure the boy, "I promise to reply to your e-mail by tonight." Jihoon's voice was much sincere this time around.

"Really?!" Guanlin showed off his gummy smile and his voice that was naturally high pitched whenever he was excited, "Ok! I'll wait for your reply hyung! Let's talk again next time!" 

He hugs Jihoon once again before running to his friends. He looks back at his dear hyung shouting, "If you finish early hyung, just come look for me at the Student Centre!"  

Jihoon responded with his thumbs up not wanting to raise his voice in public.

He watched as the boy disappears with the crowd and sighed heavily. Talking to people drained him too much. He doesn't want to blame or hate others, but speaking up and explaining himself  was just too much work, especially when most of what he does is out of fear of being out of place, rejected, or because he just doesn't want to. Is that a valid reason? He wasn't sure but he was glad that was over with.

"So, about that tour," a voice brings him back to the reality of the event that had befallen him this morning. He turns to Daniel who was grinning and with his eye smiling at him, "shall we proceed?"

_Seriously?_

He wondered if the other could really read minds because then he'll be hearing how much he's cursing him in his head.

"Can't you have a little bit of sympathy for me?" He tried to appeal to him with emotions instead, "I'm tired and beat from everything that happened today. "

Daniel taunted Jihoon saying, "My bad. I'll let you rest for today then. I'll call Guanlin back and tell him the tour is over. I'm sure he'll be happy to treat you to some coffee and pastries."

Daniel started to walk towards the Student Centre, slowly, in hopes that Jihoon would stop him.

 _Why? Oh why me?!_ Jihoon cursed the unfair gods once again.

The older boy halted as he feels Jihoon's hand on his arm.

"What?" Daniel tried to hide his triumphant smile from the boy holding on behind him.

Jihoon was silent, hesitant and was sure he was going to regret what he was about to say.

"The library is close by," he started off slow, unwilling even, "I'll show you the library and that's it for today's tour."

"Hm?" Daniel smirked at the younger boy as he motioned forward, "Lead the way then, Jihoon-sunbae."

Jihoon striked him with a death glare. 

_You're not only crazy, you're also an asshole._

Daniel chuckled, "That's not how you're supposed to talk to your hyung, right?" he pat Jihoon's head which only infuriated the other.

Jihoon slapped his hand away and walked pass by him.

 _Hurry up. I won't wait for you if you get lost_ _._

 _"_ Okay, sunbae," he relentlessly teased as he followed the small boy.

 

\---------------------------

 

It was already the beginning of fall, and the cold wind that greeted them as they opened the doors leading outside made it evident. Jihoon shivered and tucked his hands in the nooks of his underarm, hugging himself and making a mental note to bring out his sweaters and cardigans for the change of season. He also took a mental note to get his face or palm reading, maybe the fortune teller can tell him how to get rid of bad luck, like the one walking beside him right now.

"I can hear you, you know," Daniel casually said, surprisingly without a hint of bitterness, this made Jihoon upset. Daniel was similar to Seongwoo, in the way that both of them are immune to insults, matter of fact, both seem to get a kicked from disturbing and annoying those around them and getting a reaction from them. The only difference was  _Seongwoo-hyung's funny and handsome._

"Ya! I can still hear you!"

_Boo-hoo._

Jihoon stopped in front of a European-style building located just after the Student Centre. It hinted a rich and long history but was very well maintained for a building it's age.

"This is one of our libraries," Jihoon pointed at it with an enthusiasm as low as the Marianas Trench beneath the ocean.

Daniel marveled at the size of the building and roared, "WOAH! It's huge!"

Jihoon flinched from surprise and recollected himself, "Well, this one in particular is one of the biggest in the country."

"That's amazing!" He couldn't stop studying the tiny details engraved in the bricks that surmounted all the way to the top.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Jihoon was alarmed by Daniel's fascination with the library, "Wait until you try and look for a desk. As a student, the number of available seats can't even carry a pinch of our school's population. So I advise you not coming here at all. It basically exists as an archive library," he insisted to the other.

"Is it that or is it because you go here often?" Daniel could see through Jihoon's tactics. He looked around and remembered "Isn't this the same place where we first met? This is the building where you came from?"

 _Goddammit._ Jihoon didn't know why he even took Daniel here in the first place.  _I basically gave my hideout away_.He made a great effort to keep his hand from hitting his face out of frustration.

"Whatever, just don't bother me if you do intend to go here. Let's go," he turned around preparing to leave and to walk back to where they came from. He looked at his watch and did some calculations.

_The bus stop is about 8 minutes away. If I ran, maybe I can catch the 4:30 bus._

"Wait, aren't you going to take me inside?"

_Why? It's just a library. What more do you expect to see inside?_

"Fair point," he faced the same direction as Jihoon and paused.

"I'm guessing that's the Student Centre?"  Daniel pointed at the other building beside the library,  "I didn't know you were that excited to see Guanlin," 

_Ah for fuck's sake._

Jihoon rolled his eyes as he curved his way and proceeded to enter the library.

Daniel simply laughed and skipped towards him cheerfully, "What? The tour's not over yet?"

\----------------------

Daniel looked like a little kid in Disneyland walking through the gigantic rooms of the library. A kid 180 cm tall and rocking some slick rock boyband outfit who never missed a beat to comment in awe.

"Ohhh...." at the arched ways that connected the open rooms.

"Ahhhhh..." at the high glass windows starting a few feet off the ground but towering all the way to the high ceiling.

"Very cool...." at tall and intimidating bookshelves that lined itself almost like a never ending dominos in the wide and shiny hallways.

However, Jihoon couldn't figure out where enthusiasm from the other came from. Especially from someone of Daniel's physique, muscular and amazing body proportions, draped with a black leather jacket just doesn't match his child-like personality.

_It's not like we're in a museum either, it's just a library...._

"Ya, but I feel like its been ages since I've seen one! And this library is humongous!"

 _Are you actually an alien or something?_ Jihoon wondered.

Daniel giggled, "No, why are you finding more proof to report me to the science department?"

\---------------

The two have made their way to the eight and last floor of the building. This floor was Jihoon's favorite spot in the campus. It's ceiling was beautifully covered with coloured glass windows that reflected mosaic colours of pink, blue, dandelion, and purple onto the shelves, the books, and the carpeted floor. Jihoon himself couldn't help but be dazzled and gaped at its beauty even though he practically lived there during his break. The building was pretty old and the elevators were reserved for work purpose only. Therefore, students barely go up to study there. Students had better things to worry about than spending their energy climbing eight flight of stairs up and another eight down. For the same reason, Jihoon loved the place. But with Daniel knowing, he wondered if he could protect his paradise.

Daniel felt as if he had entered some fantasy book, Jihoon standing beside him daze like a prince further entertained the thought. He began to walk along an isle searching for a book he could borrow, that and to also stall Jihoon from leaving. The said boy kept his distance and took a walk on the other isle beside where Daniel is, not minding spending a few minutes in the quiet solitude of silence in between the rustling of papers.

Just then, Jihoon phone rings with a message.

He took it from his pocket and unlocked the screen.

_Seongwoo-hyung!_

"Hm?" Daniel looked up from the row of books, "What did Seongwoo say?"

 _Can. You._ _Stop. Reading. My. Mind._

Daniel couldn't see where the boy was looking at, but he knew he was probably glaring again.

"Sorry, well, it's not like I'm trying to..." He muttered under his breath.

_Whatever._

Jihoon ignored him and proceeded to reply to Seongwoo:

 

 

 

 

 

> **Seongwoo-hyung** :
> 
> Hey Jihoonie~
> 
> **You** :
> 
>                                                        Hello Seongwoo-hyung ^-^
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Seongwoo-hyung** :
> 
> How's Daniel? Got a headache yet?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **You:**
> 
>                                                            Lol x) It's not so bad, we're in the lib rn
> 
>  
> 
> **Seongwoo-hyung** :
> 
> Ohhh nice. thnx again for doing this.
> 
> I owe u one <3
> 
>  

Daniel could hear the constant ringing of exchange from Jihoon's phone and felt himself fading in the background, once again invisible.

"Ya, don't you want to ask me something? Aren't you even a little bit curious why I'm able to read your mind?" He asked after awhile, as he pretended to look through the sea of books," You never even asked why I'm in my first year still."

He takes a peek at Jihoon and sees his eyes still glued to his phone, still on Seongwoo.

"Are you that disinterested with me?"

 _No offense, but I didn't like you the moment I saw you this morning_.

"You never even said thank you after I helped you."

Jihoon finally looked up and locked eyes with Daniel through the cracks between the shelves and the books.

"I'm sorry for forgetting. Let me use this time to thank you for helping me embarrass myself in front of people and almost giving me a panic attack. I don't know how I'll be able to repay your kindness."

Daniel guiltily avoided the gaze, "Oh yeah..."

 _Heh!_ Jihoon continued to typing away on his phone:

 

 

 

 

> **You:**
> 
>                                                             How's the luncheon hyung?
> 
>  
> 
> **Seongwoo-hyung:**
> 
> Meh. Boring prof and boring food.
> 
> Glad it was over quickly
> 
>  
> 
> **You:**
> 
>                                                              You're done hyung? You're free rn?
> 
>  
> 
> **Seongwoo-hyung:**
> 
> ya, in the cafe with Jinhee rn, just
> 
> gonna get some coffee then we're going
> 
> to a study group session kmn Dx
> 
>  
> 
> **You:**
> 
>                                                              Oh I see lol gl hyung~ hwaiting!
> 
>  
> 
>  

Jihoon knew he had no right to get upset, but he had no control over how he felt. He was threatened and jealous with Seongwoo's new friend. He knew Seongwoo much longer than Jinhee, so why was she able to just drag him everywhere so easily? Jihoon thought it was unfair.

"Maybe because she actually has the courage to tell Seongwoo what she wants?" Daniel piped in.

Daniel was right, Jihoon had to admit. He never had the guts to actually demand or ask anything of Seongwoo, he just goes along with him when he's called. But that's because he's scared the other might reject him. What if Seongwoo thinks of him as a nuisance? If only he could figure out what Seongwoo thinks of him then he'd be much braver and honest with his feelings.

"Say," Jihoon wondered.

"Hm?"

He thought twice about it. This was his Seongwoo's friend were talking about, Jihoon was worried Daniel might tell his hyung his secret, "Nothing. Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

"I won't tell Seongwoo. What is it?"

"I have a question if you don't mind..."

"What? Are you finally getting interested in me? What do you want to know?"

"Before..., this morning....," Jihoon found it too embarrassing to speak. It made him realize how hopeless and stupid his feelings are. But he wanted to know if maybe, just maybe he had a chance.

_What does Seongwoo-hyung think of me?_

Daniel felt a squeeze in his heart he couldn't quite verbalize as he hears the words the boy tried to hide in his head, "The hell if I know. You should ask him instead."

Jihoon was surprised from the sudden change of tone in the other's voice. He tiptoed as he attempted to meet Daniel's eyes across the bookshelf.

"But you were there when we were eating together. What was going on in his head? Or what about when that Jinhee girl showed up?"

"You ask like it's so easy. I'm not some kind of psychic."

Daniel moved down the isle trying to escape the flow of the conversation.  _Why is he asking me? Always Seongwoo this, Seongwoo that._  He didn't know where the sudden rush of annoyance came from but he just didn't feel like entertaining Jihoon's question.

Jihoon tried to look for glimpses of the Daniel through the empty spaces of the bookshelf. He could hear the older boy's footsteps along with the creak of the timber floor as he walked down the isle.

He stepped down and went over at the same direction, "What do you mean? Can you or can you not read minds? How is it you're reading mine? " 

"Oh so now you wanna know about me?"

"Well, I'm not forcing you to tell me," Jihoon didn't want to admit to his curiosity.  _I just thought you were some sort of psychic telepathic ESP weirdo all this time._

Daniel lets out a laugh as the absurdity of the small boy washes over his anger, "I'm not. The most I hear are murmurs from people's head," Jihoon heard his voice, much cheerful this time, "you know like static, I guess? Now and then they would think really loudly which I find interesting since I can actually hear what's inside their heads. But that's not often." Daniel was delighted to have safely evaded Jihoon's question about his friend, maybe even happier Jihoon had taken an interest in him.

"But how come you always seem to read my mind?" Jihoon leaned on the wooden shelf where Daniel had began scanning a new row of books.

"Well," Daniel began, thrilled to finally be able to talk about his encounter with the boy that had also been bugging him, "that's the weird part, the first time I heard you, your voice, your thoughts were very loud and clear. How do I describe it... It was like your voice sliced through all the static noise. I thought you were in the crowd so I stood there trying to figure the owner of the voice but turns out you were even inside this building. It was very mind-blowing, for me."

"Really? Is my inner voice that loud?"

"Uh-huh."

_How about now?Can you hear me?_

"Uh-huh," Daniel laughed from adoration.

For, Jihoon, however, this was a serious matter. If he couldn't help him figure out what was in Seongwoo's head, he might as well find a way to keep the guy from his own. His approach was through the method of trial and error, the most basic foundation of research he had learned in class. He was curious to test whether distance could be the answer. He had walked further from where Daniel had been, passing by several isles and making a futile attempt in lowering his inner voice.

_Can you hear me still?_

"Yup," he heard Daniel reply from a far.

He almost reached the end of the hallway and he slides in the last isle sandwiched between a shelf and the wall.

_Now?_

Jihoon waited and tried to silence his breathing.

"You know you sound the same to me, right?" Daniel poked his head in the isle where Jihoon was hiding, "I told you, I could hear even from outside this building."

Jihoon sighed, "How do I make it quiet like the others then? You being able to read my mind transparently is bothersome."

Jihoon was rested by the bookshelf, devastated, pouting from his failed research,  _Findings are not significantly different,_ he concluded like he had done for his laboratory reports.

"Well, I don't really know. It hasn't been long since I was able to do this things," Daniel walked towards the boy browsing the books with his finger as he passed by, "I've also never really talk about it with people around me since I was worried they would freak out."

"So, why are you telling me all these? Not that worried about me, eh?"

"Well, like I said you're case is different...."

He stopped when he reached Jihoon crouched by the shelf. The small boy wanted to stand up, avoiding the awkward proximity. But Daniel bends and crouches in front of him before he could do so.

"What are yo-"

Daniel holds out his hand aiming on the right side of Jihoon's face. He brushes by Jihoon's right ear and proceeds to grab a book by the shelf, "Near Death Experiences," he reads the title of the book, "just what I was looking for."

Jihoon's face glows a bright red. He hated when people physically get close to him and pops the personal bubble that he has tried to surround himself with, something that had been recurrently violated throughout today. The deafening silence of the coloured lit room didn't help in covering up his quickening heartbeat. He desperately wanted to take off and leave.

"What's wrong?" Daniel smiled at him, the rays softly shining down the older boy's face, "What do you think I was going to do, hm?"

Jihoon stood up without warning and blurted out, "No-nothing! The tour's over! I'm leaving first!"

Daniel stumbled down from the other's sudden action. Jihoon had hastily made his way towards the stairs and began to climbed down. He stood up and dusted his jeans in a hurry, "Why are you always so quick to leave the scene? At least slow down! I might actually get lost here!"

_Then mind read your way out of here or something!_

"I told you that's not how it works! Just wait a second!"

He dashed down after the other as fast and safely as he could over the twisting steps of the stairs.

"Ya! Slow down, you might trip!"

But Jihoon had quite a lot of experienced with rushing down the stairs, as he had always done so whenever he had overslept and was late for his lecture.

 _Today was more than enough,_ he tried to justify he's actions,  _I think I deserve a long break._

He did't want more than anything than to go home, lie in bed, and rest.

Daniel on the other hand had given up half way and decided to proceed with caution instead. He wanted to avoid any sort of accident of all sort especially since he had only been discharged recently.  _Better be safe than sorry,_ he thought.

By the time he had reached the ground floor, Jihoon was nowhere in sight.

 

\----------------------

 

From: guanlin.lai@gmail.com

To: park.jihoon99@gmail.com

Subject: HELLO HYUNG!!!!

 

 

 

 

> How was your day?
> 
> I was rly happy to see you!!
> 
> I know your busy and all, but would it be possible meet this week again?
> 
> I'm just confuse with some of the the words in my Korean class.
> 
> Even just for a few minutes?
> 
> Please? :)
> 
>  

Reply:

 

 

 

> Hi Guanlin,
> 
> Today was pretty tiring so I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you much. btw thanks for the kimbap, it was rly good :)
> 
> If it's only for a short while, I can meet you tomorrow at 1pm?
> 
> I'll be by the cafe near the auditorium.
> 
>  

"YES!" Guanlin threw his hands in the air and celebrated, after reading Jihoon's reply.

"Ey! Ey! Ey!," he danced around his room, wiggling his flimsy long arms in an attempt to do some popping.

He opened his closet and searched for his outfit for tomorrow humming happily,

"Gonna see Jihoon-hyung tomorrow~" 

 

\----- The Next Day------

 

 

Guanlin biked pass the school's arch entrance with the words, "Welcome to Dankook University."

He happily searched through the blocks of students walking towards their lecture early in the morning, hoping maybe to get a glimpse of Jihoon.

From all the students, one stands out, looking evidently lost and confuse.

_Hm? I've seen that person before... Oh, right!_

Guanlin bikes towards the guy who's nose was buried in his phone.

"DANIEL-HYUNG!" Guanlin called out.

"Huh?" Daniel looks up from the map that was open in his phone. He squinted and saw a boy biking towards him, "Guanlin?"

"Yeah, you remember!" Guanlin cheerfully replied as he got down his bicycle.

He started to look around, looking for any sign of Jihoon.

"Jihoon's not here," Daniel pitches in.

"I'm-," Guanlin was flustered and embarrassed for being to obvious, "I'm not looking for him...."

_Sure... I don't even need to be able to read your mind to know you're lying._

Guanlin directed his attention on the paper in Daniel's hand, "Oh, is that your timetable hyung?"

"Uh, ya, I've been trying to find my classes," Daniel looked at the map on his phone, "but the campus is so big. I don't even know where I am."

Guanlin was confused, "It sure is, but didn't Jihoon-hyung show you our main lecture halls yesterday?"

Daniel laughed as he remembered the scampering view of Jihoon as he dashed like Cinderella down the stairs just yesterday, "He was rushing yesterday so he ditched me the moment he had the chance to."

Guanlin chuckled, "HAHAHA! He does that all the time. Isn't he cute?"

"Right?" Daniel answered even before his brain could process the question.

\------------------------

Somewhere in the campus, Jihoon who was quietly sitting in his class sneezed liked an elephant, disrupting his professor mid-sentence of the presentation.

 _Damn it,_ he cursed himself and tried to hide from the stares of people looking for the source of the sound,  _it's too early to catch a freaking cold!_

\---------------------------

We return and tune back to his two lover boys by the school gate.

"Can I take a look hyung? I'm early for my class so I could bring you to yours if you want. "

 _A friend of Jihoon-hyung is also a friend of mine_. Guanlin was not quite right, but at least his intentions were amiable.

"Thanks, " Daniel passed him the paper," I've been standing here for awhile now but everyone just kept passing by. "

"Ah well ya but everyone's quite nice when you get to know them personally. Oh? " Guanlin was surprised seeing the other's timetable and reads the courses further into the week, "Oh?! "

"What? Is something wrong? "

"Hyung we're in the same classes! "

"Really? That's great then! "

"You're only in first year? I thought you just transferred school?"

Daniel tried to hide the awkwardness from the question, "Nah, I'm only starting this year."

"Why hyung? also wouldn't it have been better to start on September? Why are you a month late?" The boy let his mouth ran first with curiosity.

"Uh... how do i explain," Daniel struggled to find words to lighten the truth of the reason. It would be too much to unload the real issue to someone he just met, especially to such a young boy. "Uhm..I've been sleeping off the past few years and just woke up recently so the situation just unfolded this way, I guess. Hahaha,"

 _Sleep?_ Guanlin wondered if the word had another meaning.  _Does he mean he was lazy and just found motivation to study?_  He was curious but decided not the go out of line, especially since they just met. He takes a mental note to ask Jihoon about it when they meet later.

\------------------------------ 1:12 PM------------------------------------

_Should I get another drink? Iced Americano or mocha?_

"Mocha," Daniel sits in the vacant chair across Jihoon, "the weather's getting colder, better try avoiding getting a cold."

"Why are you here?" the boy did not appreciate being interrupted during his alone time.

"And a good afternoon to you too. "

_It really was, until you showed up._

"A little bit more kindness would be nice, you know? Anyway, Guanlin's going to be late. He sent me to make sure you don't ditch him. Again. "

"You met Guanlin? "

"Ya, we ended up having the same classes. He also helped me get to my lecture, unlike someone."

"That's great. Really great. Guess you won't be needing my help."

"Are you sure?" Daniel takes out his phone, "That's too bad then, Seongwoo was thinking of treating you tomorrow for the favor. Guess I'll have to tell him you're not going," he opens it and begins to type a message.

"Wai- wait!"

_God, tell me those things first before blabbering and being annoying!_

"I didn't know you'd be this slow," Daniel gently pokes Jihoon's forehead with his phone, "I thought you would have figured out the best way to get to Seongwoo is through me. Totally my fault for over-estimating you."

 _Get to Seongwoo?_ Jihoon felt feverish.

_I'm not in some sort of pilgrimage! I just want to get to know Seongwoo-hyung better...._

"Of course, sure whatever. I don't know who you're trying to fool here. I can tell even without reading your mind. It's a miracle how Seongwoo hasn't caught you yet."

 _Am I that obvious?_ Jihoon frantically tried to recall all his interactions with Seongwoo.

Daniel was happy to get the attention of the boy. The fact that they're talking without it seeming like it's going down with a fight made him happy.

"Do- do you think he knows?"

"Probably not, he's smart and capable but his on the stupid side when it comes to these kind of things."

After some thinking, he proposed, "I'll help you with Seongwoo, and you stick with me in school?"

"Just like a sunbae, of course," he abruptly added.

Daniel realized the irony of using his friend to get to Jihoon, but it was the only way he could think of at the moment to keep the boy from running away as he always do. The older boy didn't bother focusing in the reason why was he making the effort of holding on to the other. Sure, Jihoon was cute, he was handsome for that matter. He's cold but that only made him charming to Daniel. But was there more than that? If only Daniel asked himself, then maybe he would have thought twice about his offer.

"How about that? Is it a deal?" He held out his hand.

Jihoon stared at it, thinking. It was a fact, for sure, Daniel would be a pain in the ass, but now, maybe he could see Seongwoo more often, then he can talk to him more, laugh with him more, then maybe, maybe Jihoon could actually hope for something more.

_It's not such a bad exchange..._

He shook Daniel's hand but protested as he laid out the terms of the agreement, "Just so you know I'll only be helping you with appropriate things meaning I won't be doing your homework or any projects. I can tutor you but you better be serious in getting help. We will run base on my schedule and only during weekdays. I better see an equal transaction, and you know what I mean by that. And one last thing," Jihoon had a feeling it might be impossible but its the one thing that bothered him the most, "I want you to refrain from reading my mind."

"Ok, sure, but you already know the answer to your last request," Daniel insisted, "I do have one of my own, "

"What?"

"Your number," he smiled at Jihoon.

"My number?"

_Not in a million years._

"My phone's not the best way to contact me... It's not working properly."

"Are you actually lying to me? Like actually trying to lie in front of me?" Daniel was laughing at the attempt. He made fun of the other as he pointed both his index finger on his forehead mimicking how cartoon character send telepathy in movies, "Remember?"

Jihoon was embarrassed for even trying.

"And just yesterday, you were so quick at replying to Seongwoo. Do you only have signal when the message comes from Seongwoo's phone?"

_Shut up._

"Aigoo, you're so cute," Daniel pinched Jihoon's red cheeks flushing from embarrassment.

"What's going on?" Guanlin was standing a meter away from their table.

"Daniel-hyung being his usual self," Jihoon slapped his hand away, "a nincompoop."

"Nincompoop? What's that?" It was Guanlin's first time hearing the word. But more than that, he was quite concerned with how close the two looked.

"Don't bother learning it. You just have to try your best and avoid meeting those people."

_Especially those whose names starts with Daniel, and ends with Kang._

"Uh-huh, I agree," the older boy simply smiled at Jihoon, his hands on his chin.

"Anyway,what did you need help with Guanlin?" Jihoon checked his watch. His next class was not in the next two hours, but he would sure enjoy those two hours alone.

"Ah... right," Guanlin drags a chair from the neighboring table and made sure to sit beside Jihoon. He tried to ignore the feeling of jealousy seeping through.

He takes out a notebook from his bag and flipped through the pages, "This word hyung, amor-amorousness?"

"To look at it simply, the root word is amour, meaning a strong feeling of passion or romance."

"Hm?" Both words were also unfamiliar to Guanlin's Korean vocabulary.

Daniel pipes in, "An example would be, Jihoon's amourosness intrigue towards Seongw- OUCH!"

Jihoon aggressively kicked Daniel's sheen under the table sending a sharp pain to the other.

_One word. I swear to god, just one word out of your mouth and I'll contact NASA._

"Alright, alright," Daniel cried as he tended to his legs.

Guanlin was bewildered and was starting to feel left out, "What's wrong, hyung?"

But Jihoon was too distracted to notice. He recollected himself and proceeded, "Nothing, where were we?"

\-------------------

The Taiwanese boy, although concerned with Jihoon's real relationship with Daniel, was very much overjoyed being in close proximity with his hyung to be bothered by it at the moment.

_Woah, he's eyelashes are really long-_

"-did you understand?"

"Huh? Oh ya. Yeah, I get it now," Guanlin diverts his gaze back at the word Jihoon had underlined.

"Really? What does it mean again then?" Jihoon tested him, fully knowing the boy wasn't listening.

"Uhm..." Guanlin tried to decipher the strokes of the Hangul hoping that the Great King Sejong had left traces of clues for him.

In failure, he looked up at Jihoon and pleaded with his gummy smile, "Sorry, hyung...."

Jihoon sighed at his cute dongsaeng, "Listen this time, ok?"

The time flew by and Jihoon, along with Daniel's unnecessary attempt to also help, ended up spending the next hour teaching Guanlin Korean. 

In addition, Jihoon was also teaching Daniel, who doesn't know how to shut up, some moral lessons as he played soccer with him under the table.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm crying i actually finished writing it  
> sry it took so long, i always get sick when the season changes T.T
> 
> also, I haven't even finish writing the main plots buttt there's been lots of winkdeep moments recently soooo i'm thinking of adding bjy as a senior in film and photography wanting Jihoon to be his model fdjfsjkngq >.<  
>    
> idk lol  
> anyway i hope u enjoyed~


	4. "Date"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Daniel, Jihoon goes on his "date" with Seongwoo, at least that's what the boy wants to call it.

_Not this. Nope, not that one either._ Jihoon throws a jumper over his head and it landed on a pile of clothes on the floor, clothes he had already rejected to wear on his date with Seongwoo. **Date** , that's what the boy want to call it but he knows its just another casual meeting for his hyung.

He finally grabs two choices of clothes and ran to the living room where his roommate has settled down to relax and watch a movie.

"Woojin! I need to ask you an important question! Should I wear this one, or this one?" Jihoon blocks the television as he displays two pink sweaters still in hangers to his friend.

"What the hell? Move! I'm trying to watch," Woojin yells at Jihoon and gestures him to step aside.

"Just tell me quickly! It's a matter of life or death," Jihoon insisted as he shakes the hangers in front of Woojin's face.

"They look the same!"

"No, this one is salmon pink," Jihoon tugs on his right hand, "and this one is baby pink," he points to the sweater on his left hand.

Gun shots were being fired on the screen behind Jihoon, and a sound of a man screaming for help.

"YA! A character's dying! MOVE!!!" Woojin kicks his friend aside and Jihoon tumbles on the floor.

The two had always been close, too close they get physical with each other. Therefore, this was just another ordinary day in their dorm.  

"I see. This is how our friendship ends. You choose your Netflix over me," the boy pretends to grieve as he exaggeratedly and miserably gathers his sweaters fallen on the carpet.

"Aish, you're frustrating!" Woojin throws the remote at his overly dramatic friend and barked, "It doesn't matter because you'll look cute with either of them, OK?! Are you happy?!!"

Jihoon turns to his friend with a mocking smile and smirked, "You think so too?"

Woojin's head boiled, don't get him wrong, he cares for his best-friend but because they've known each other for so long, the other just knows the fastest highway to get on his nerves and drive him mad, "GO!! Go to your Seongwoo-hyung! You're raising my blood pressure!"

"Hehehe. Thanks chingu! You're the best~"Jihoon giggled as he runs away from his fuming friend.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon quickly takes off his lab coat, grabs his bag, and hurries down the stairs to the building's exit. He checks his phone and reads two messages from Seongwoo asking where he was. 

 _Goddammit!_ _Stupid lab partner didn't even do shit!_ He curses at the  stupid and clueless student he was paired up with by default. Although, he knows its partly his fault for not having the courage to actually approach and ask other people to be in his team. _But he should have at least lend a hand cleaning the equipment!_

Jihoon was 15 minutes late to their decided meeting time. He power walks his way along the uneven pavement of the campus walk, worried and anxious.  _What if he left already?_

The thought gave the boy the motivation to pick up his speed and run towards the little plaza located at the end of the campus where Seongwoo had told him to go. He could careless if he looked stupid or abnormal running in full speed, he wouldn't miss this opportunity to see Seongwoo alone.

"Hyung!" Guanlin, who happened to be walking to his class with Daniel, spots Jihoon with his hawk-eyes.  But the boy was in a rush as he apologized, "I'm sorry, Guanlin! I'm in a hurry! I'll talk to you later!"

"Huh?" Guanlin watches as the pink-sweater boy darts pass by them in an amazing speed.

"Let him be," said Daniel, who was also watching the boy ran off. Both stood there, eyeing the pink dot until it turned left and was out of sight. 

 _A deal's a deal,_ Daniel reminds himself, knowing that Jihoon was on his way to meet Seongwoo. And yet he can't help but feel a mix of regret and jealousy.

Guanlin on the other hand, clueless of Jihoon's destination happily thought,  _A glimpse of Jihoon-hyung today... Must be destiny~_

 

* * *

 

Jihoon wondered why Seongwoo wanted to meet at the very corner of the campus, _there's nothing there but a hotdog stand. Wait, don't tell me-_

Low and behold, Jihoon sees Seongwoo waving standing in front of the silver metal cart, waving for Jihoon to join him.

Jihoon halts and pants, "Seriously, hyung?" He had a hard time slowing down his breathe, "This is all you're treating me to? And you made me ran all the way here from the other end of the campus?"

"I never told you to run. I was just asking where you were."

"But a hot-dog, hyung? Really?"

"YA!," Seongwoo snapped at him," I'm a broke university student with a great student loan already haunting me down. Learn to be more appreciative, it's the thought that counts! I don't treat people often you know,"  Seongwoo turns to the hotdog stand owner who he has befriended over the years of budgeting lunch money and asked for his support, "Right ahjussi?"

"Hm? If I remember correctly, you brought a girl here just the other day?"

"A girl?" _Jinhee?_  Jihoon prayed that he was wrong.

"Ohhh!"Seongwoo abruptly diverts the attention to Jihoon's clothes, "Woah~ Our Prince Jihoon, you're rocking that pink sweater! I like your outfit today!" Seongwoo cups Jihoon's cheeks and continued, "Makes you look brighter and glowing!" 

Jihoon was flustered, losing his train of thought, "Oh, this? I - I was in a hurry. I just wore the closest clothes I could grab." The boy's heart danced in joy as Seongwoo notices the difference in the way he dressed today. It made him think that maybe, just maybe, Seongwoo might be interested in him.  _No harm in dreaming,_ he chirped completely forgetting that his hyung might have brought Jinhee to the same place. 

"Wow, I woke up like this fashion statement, huh?" Seongwoo teases the boy. He turns to the hotdog vendor, knowing that he had successfully distracted the boy, "Ahjussi, give us two sausage hotdogs please!"

"Hyung!" Jihoon calls him out and protested, "at least get me the combo."

"Okay, okay," Seongwoo caves in and nodded profusely, "Ahjussi, make that a combo for my pink sausage prince here."

 

* * *

 

Seongwoo and Jihoon grabbed their food and sat at the grass in the small garden nearby. Jihoon felt everything was complete at the moment. They were far from the chattering of the students complaining about their professors and worrying about their deadlines. Only the birds could whisper their songs to them as the gentle breeze sweeps the grass of their afternoon break.

"So, how's Daniel doing?" Seongwoo's voice breaks the quietude along with his effort to unwrap the aluminum foil from his food.

Jihoon is sadly reminded that the only reason he's able to spend this precious time with his hyung was because of Daniel .

"He's okay..." he reluctantly unwraps his own food wondering why his hyung is so worried and concerned about Kang Daniel.

_He's old enough to take care of himself. Sure, university can get overwhelming and confusing, but he finds time to bother me, he probably just want someone he can take advantage of for help._

Seongwoo proceeds to ask him questions, "Is he having a hard time getting used to things?"

"Uhm well...," _I don't know_ , Jihoon hasn't really paid much attention to the guy.

Seongwoo takes a bite from his food but continued to talk, his words muffled by the contents in his mouth, "He's a bit goofy but he's a really nice guy. It's just sad how things have turned out this way..."

"What do you mean, hyung?"

"Huh? Oh, forget what I said," Seongwoo realized he let his mouth ran again, "Just watch over him, okay? I'll treat you to something better next time!"

"Hyung," Jihoon knows there was something his hyung wasn't telling him, "I don't get why you're going this far for Daniel-hyung."

Seongwoo wipes the ketchup and mustard from his face, "Well, he's my best-friend, of course, I would."

"If his you're best-friend, how come I haven't seen him all this time? You've never even talked about him before."

Seongwoo pauses, "Well..."

"You want me to help him, but I don't get why? I can't help him if I don't know what's wrong with him."

That statement wasn't completely true, he knew one thing wrong about the guy. He knows Daniel had this weird ability to read minds, especially his very clearly for some odd reason he wished he knew and possibly stop soon. But, he can tell that Seongwoo isn't aware of that fact, so why was he so concerned about his friend settling to university.

On the other hand, Seongwoo was having an inner conflict. He knows his friend doesn't mind telling others about the accident but Seongwoo, himself, never really liked talking about it. He doesn't like remembering the tragic event that happened to one of his closest friend.

After some time, although hesitant, he resumed, "...he's been sleeping for four years, at least that's what he likes telling others."

"Huh?" Jihoon was confuse.

Seongwoo puts down his food, not wanting to remember the episodes of the events, he starts slow for his own sake, "That guy has been sleeping in a hospital bed. He had an accident right after our highschool graduation and had been comatose since then. We were both suppose to start school together, even chose the same university, but... "

Seongwoo sighed heavily, reliving the moment when he saw his friend unconsciously lying in the hospital , "...the whole thing just had to happen to him."

When he could recollect himself, he continued , "It must have been a shock for him when he found out people around him had spent their four years living and going about with their lives but for him, time stopped, for him, highschool must have felt just like yesterday."

"Oh," Jihoon didn't know what else to say. He felt guilt rushing over him remembering how he treated Daniel. He hated himself wondering why he was so rude to him.

_Ah fuck, I'm really a loser._

"When I visited him after he woke up, he was so excited to start university," Seongwoo sounded more hopeful recalling how overjoyed he was the moment he heard his friend woke up after four years, "He's such a kid! Can you believe him, still excited to go to school? I guess he can't help it."

Meanwhile, Jihoon recalls every exchange he had with Daniel, which typically included, cursing him, insulting him, running away from him, and making fun of him for getting excited over small things in their school, _Yup, I'm the jerk,_ he concluded.

"So that guy ditched the hospital the moment they let him but, I still get worried. It hasn't been long since he's been discharged, and for him to walk around like nothing happened when he's been practically missing from the world for four years, I don't know. I feel uneasy. But he gets mad when I nag him about those things. He said I'm starting to sound like his mom," Seongwoo laughs about it but Jihoon could tell how much his hyung cared for his friend.

"That's why, can you just watch over him for me? Sometimes he's very stubborn and pushes his limits," Seongwoo began eating his food once again, trying to move on from the heavy topic.

"...Of course, hyung." Jihoon was grateful that his hyung agreed to explain to him. He felt bad for having through bring it up, it was obvious Seongwoo was having a hard time as he spoke, _Maybe that's why he never talked about him._ Although he doubted whether maybe now, he knew too much about Daniel. He felt a mixture of guilt and a renewed desire to genuinely and sincerely help his self-proclaimed hoobae with university.

"Thanks, Prince Jihoon, your kindness is ever so expansive to thy peasants," Seongwoo laughed as he tried to brighten the mood.

"Hyuuuung, not that again."

"Hahaha, okay, I'll give it a rest for today. I'm quite happy," Seongwoo felt his heart lighter, it feels like its floating along with the breeze blowing through the garden, "I don't know why."

He wondered where this happiness came from, "Maybe being able to tell others lightened the burden I've been carrying," he turns to his dongsaeng, "I'm really thankful for you, Jihoon."

Jihoon can never hold an eye contact with Seongwoo, he returns to munching on his food, "I- I didn't even do anything..."

He pats Jihoon's head, "When I'm done my thesis, and get this stupid degree, I promise to bring you along with everyone to a summer vacation trip!~"

"Hyung, winter hasn't even started. You're way too ahead," and yet Jihoon himself couldn't wait for the promise trip already.

Seongwoo threw himself on the grass and yelled, "Aish! 6 more months until I say adios to this school!"

The words rang in Jihoon's head. He is suddenly reminded of the ticking time and the limitation of it. _Only six more months...Six more months with Seongwoo-hyung._ Jihoon felt a sudden pressure to get closer and hold onto Seongwoo. _But how?_ There's only one way, one in which he thought he would never in his life resort to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on publishing this together with the next chapter I'm currently working on but meh I have so much stuff to do I won't be able to work on it for awhile Dx
> 
> I hope u still enjoyed >·<


	5. Confession

_Medium chamomile tea. 2 milk, 1 sweetener._  
_Medium chamomile tea. 2 milk, 1 sweetener._

The line-up for the cashier was getting shorter and Jihoon repeatedly rehearses his order as he takes a step closer to the front of the line. He had always been quite iffy about ordering, especially since the workers of this particular coffee shop are always rushing and can get a bit rude. He rehearses once again to avoid panicking when it's his turn to order.

  
_Medium chamomile tea. 2 milk, 1 sweetener, OH! Is that a new pastry?!_

Jihoon tiptoes to take a better view of the bakery display.

_Looks so good~_

"Next! " Jihoon flinches as the lady by the cashier yelled out to the girl in front of him with a menacing look as the girl was too preoccupied with her phone to notice her turn. Jihoon panics and goes back to rehearsing.

The girl steps over to the side as she finished paying for her coffee and Jihoon started making his way to the front.

_Medium chamomile tea. 2 milk-_

Just then a tall figure interjects and made his way to the cashier before him.

_Huh?_

"Ahjuma, can I please get one large iced americano with two extra vanilla shots, " the guy shamelessly orders as Jihoon stands behind him stunned from the sudden appearance.

_Did this guy just cut the line?!_

"Can I also get a medium chamomile tea, 2 milk 1 sweetener. And, " the guy stalls. He turns to Jihoon and asked, "You wanted the new pastry, right? "

_Daniel-hyung?!_

"Annyeong~" Daniel smiles to greet the small boy and gently tugs him by the arm, bringing Jihoon beside him.

He turns back to the cashier and added," Ahjumma, can I also have that new pastry. That one over there with strawberries on top, anything else you want? "

"Huh? Uh, no I brought lunch so, " Jihoon mumbles.

The cashier tallies the order and says," That's going to be-"

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot to order food for myself. Let's see....," he reads through the menu hanging above, "You have sandwiches? Nice! Can I get the pulled pork sandwich? "

"Ok, your total-"

"And, I'm sorry once again but can you just add extra lettuce and tomatoes on it," the lady looks up from the ordering screen and glares at Daniel who cheerfully adds, "please and thank you~"

"Your total is $28.75," the lady's voice was flat and yet Jihoon could feel her blood boiling because of Daniel who was obviously holding up the line with his add-ons.

Daniel taps his card, oblivious to the situation, smiles and bids the employee a happy goodbye as the machine beeped with his payment, "Thank you very much and have a nice day, ahjumma! "

After grabbing their food and drinks, Daniel starts to walk towards table beside the glass walls of the shop. Jihoon follows and yet he was confuse. The two haven't planned to meet today, and he also hasn't prepared himself to interact and talk with people today but Daniel has just bought him food,  _it would be rude if I just leave._

"Well, yeah I'd be quite hurt if you do," Daniel has sat down and signals the empty seat to Jihoon.

Jihoon places his food and tea by the table. He takes off his bag and hangs it by the chair. He finally sits down and says, "You didn't have to buy these for me... "

"You know a 'thank you' isn't too hard to say," Daniel jokingly replies.

"That's not what I meant, I just- I mean you don't have to go out of your way and be nice to me-"  _I've been crappy this whole time so..._

 _"_ You have been but, well, a simple 'I'm sorry' can resolve that. And it's not like I bought you caviar so don't feel burdened," he unwraps his first sandwich,"Let's eat shall we?"

Jihoon watched as the older boy buries his face in the sandwich.  _He's not so bad,_ Jihoon takes the cup of tea by the handle and takes a sip as he observed,  _He always smiles too._ As a psychology major, he couldn't help but wonder why Daniel was the way he was,  _What percentage of his personality was innate and what part was experience?_ He looks up from his cup and notices a scar on Daniel's forehead often hidden behind his bangs.  _Right,_ he remembered the conversation he had with Seongwoo last week,  _the accident._

 _But_   _if that happened to me_ , Jihoon continued on with his curiousity  and wonder,  _I don't think I could be as positive as Daniel-hyung is_.  _To be comatose for four years-_

"Don't give me that look," Daniel interrupts with food still in his mouth.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Daniel peers through his bangs, "You're giving me that look...like you're looking at an injured puppy," he puts down the sandwich and searched for a napkin to wipe his lips, "Seongwoo just makes everything more dramatic done it really is." 

"I-I'm sorry, " Jihoon felt wrong knowing Daniel's history or he wondered if maybe that feeling came from sympathy instead.

"Sorry? For what?"

Jihoon didn't know exactly.

Daniel could see that and he points out, "You didn't have anything to do with it so no need to be sorry."

 _Still_... The small boy felt a strong feeling enough to be verbalized, "..stupid fucking driver should have drove properly." Jihoon might not be close to Daniel but he still felt it was unfair that out of all the people, he was on that street on that unfortunate day.

Daniel laughs at the unexpected concern of the other, "Right?! Hahaha! But I'm not that bummed about it. I mean sure it sucks but i came out alive so I hate when people look at me like I've lost such a big part of my life, because I don't feel that way at all. What's the thing they say.... You won't lose..what you don't have?.."

"You don't miss what you don't know?"

"Yeah, that one! You don't miss what you don't know!" Daniel takes a sip of his iced americano and continued," I have no idea what happened for the past four years, so I don't really care. But I can just focus on now and the things I've gained from the whole accident. You know, like being able to hear people's thoughts!"

"Wait, so the accident caused your weird and annoying mindreading powers?"

"Hmmm," that made Daniel rethink and also wonder, "What exactly caused it, I have no clue but I started hearing voices after the accident. Why? Are you jealous?" he teases the boy.

"Not really," Jihoon finally takes the fork and tasted the strawberry shortcake Daniel had bought for him, "I don't think being able to read others' minds isn't really that great or helpful. "

 _And_   _I_ _don't need to know what people are thinking about me, it will probably just cause me to stress more than I am now. I'd just be hearing them talk badly about me anyway. Not to mention, it's also very intrusive_.

"Why are you always so negative?" Daniel asked, not with the intention to attack the other, but with curiosity and with the means to understand Jihoon. When Jihoon simply looked away he continued, "Sure there are consequences of hearing people's thoughts especially if it's against you but there are lots of perks it has given me. Did you know, the first voice I ever heard was my mom's," Daniel beamed as he continued to tell the story," I don't know when exactly it started in those four years I was asleep but at some point I just heard her voice calling out, 'Daniel-ah, wake up soon. Mom misses you a lot'." He pauses and looks at Jihoon, "I see it as a blessing, so you don't have to look at me like I'm this victim of such a great tragedy."

Since he was asked the question, the small boy directed his attention to the falling golden leaves and the people strolling on the sidewalk outside the cafe. Both the trees swaying and the students talking and laughing seemed so carefree, and here he was talking with Daniel another carefree spirit. He was being surrounded with what appears to remind him of the joy in everyday life and yet Jihoon, as Daniel had pointed out to him, couldn't understand why he only focus on the negativity of things.  _Sure, let's say that that's one good outcome of the accident but,_ he slowly yet tentatively taps his cup of tea, "But don't you wonder sometimes, you could have been graduating this year like Seongwoo-hyung? You wouldn't have to be the odd one out and having other students question you why you're only starting now. You could have lived normally."

Daniel follows Jihoon's gaze and sees a bunch of student laughing and joking as they walk on the path of fallen foliage. He felt a flood of nostalgia as he remembered his own memories of foolishly joking around with his friends which, for him, felt only like yesterday. He rests his chin on his hand and reflected, "Well, I'm not bothered by what other people think. It's just weird sometimes, because I feel like I just finished highschool, so I feel familiar with this idea that I am a student, going to school, being with friends. But at the same time, everything also seemed so strange and confusing, like I'm in the wrong timeline? Do you know what I mean?"

 _Strange and confusing... Wrong timeline?_ Jihoon looks at the ground, shamed by his incapability to relate. How could he possibly do so to something so unfortunate. The closest he could get to is to sympathize with the other.

_BUZZ BUZZ_

An alarm sounds off interrupting the two and Jihoon scrambled to reached his bag and turned off his phone.

"Goddammit," he cursed.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go," he finishes the last sip of his tea and gulped down the rest of the cake.

Daniel wanted Jihoon to stay longer. He wanted to get to take his turn to ask him questions, get answers, and know more about him. He disappointingly watched the small boy look through his bag and uttered, "What? Are you going to run and leave me again?"

 _It's not that,_ Jihoon takes out a notebook, "I need to go to work," he reasoned as he focused in finding a pen.

He reached at the end of his bag's pocket and emerged with a blue pen. He bent over the table and scribbled something Daniel couldn't quite see from his seat.

"Huh? What's this," he asked surprised when Jihoon rips the paper off from his notebook and passes it to Daniel.

Jihoon twists the pen close and inserts his notebook back in his bag saying, "It's my number. If you find anything strange and confusing," he zips his bag close, puts it on, and resumed, "contact me."

Daniel swore his heart skipped a beat, maybe even more. He wasn't quite sure because his head rang with Jihoon's voice echoing, "contact me, contact me, contact me."

Jihoon bids his goodbye and rushed through the doors and into the sidewalk. Daniel watches as the boy runs to the right, passing by and stepping over the multi-colored leaves that has beautifully piled up on the paved ground. Daniel wished the boy would relax more, he thought maybe he could show him how nice it would be to just sit, watch leaves fall, and not worry. 

_Hehehe... maybe I can text him and ask him out on a date~_

Daniel looks at the paper containing Jihoon's phone number and sees an imprint of ink coming from the other side.

_Huh?_

He then flips the paper and sees Jihoon's writing saying:

_I'm really sorry again. I hope we can start over as friends._

_PS let's both refrain from being jerks_

The boy smiles and thinks,  _And then there's you,_  he adds one more bulletpoint to the list of good things that came out from his accident,  _I get to meet you, Jihoon._

He takes out his phone and carefully types the number. He even reads them out loud just to make sure. Once done, he quickly sent him a message:

> **Uknown number** :
> 
> Sorry again? I said ur forgiven but
> 
> I'm not quite sure if I could be friends with my sunbae xD
> 
>  

Jihoon, who was waiting in the line for the bus sees it and half regret giving him the number and was for sure and totally regret ever writing the letter. 

 _Was i too cheesy?_ He registers Daniel's number in his phone. He contemplated, cringed, and shoved his phone in his pocket unsure if what he did was right, _Ugh!! I can't deal with people!_

 _Ding!_ Another message from Daniel pops up, further annoying the already pink ball of stress.

 _What now?!_ Jihoon grumbled. He takes his phone out, slams his pin as he unlocks it and was quite surprise as he reads it:  

> **Daniel-hyung** :
> 
> Goodluck with your job! Don't work too hard ^-^
> 
>  

_Seongwoo-hyung was right_ , Jihoon had to admit,  _he is a nice person._ The boy types a reply and hits send.

Daniel who was still sitting at the cafe shop softly smiles down as he looked at his phone in hand: 

> **Jihoon-ah** :
> 
> I'm sorry
> 
>                                                   **You** :
> 
>                                                   Lol srsly? again?
> 
> **Jihoon-ah** :
> 
> and thank you.

 

 _If there's anyone who should be thankful, that's me,_  Daniel thought, ** _thank you_** _ **Jihoon-ah**_.

 

* * *

 

  
Friday nights were always the epitome of parties, alcohol, and freedom for university students. But that's sadly not the case for Seongwoo and Daniel who's sitting at their dorm's balcony gulping down a bottle of banana milk.

Seongwoo hisses, "Aishh. I ought to tell these youngsters to shut the hell up with their funky loud music." He points at the disco lighted room in the other building across their dorm like a grumpy old grandpa. You could see the shadows of students jumping and dancing reflected on the glass window, not to mention the blasting music reaching every room in the whole block.

Daniel laughs, "What's this? I remember you were always the one saying you were going to work hard and play hard once we finished highschool."

"Chingu, I already had my fair share of getting drunk at parties and ending up at someone else's backyard.The good old days," he vainly twirls the banana milk in the air as you would with a wine glass and sighs, "Anyway enough about my lonely life, how's your first week?"

A gust of wind lifts the blonde haired boy to the memory of his first day, Jihoon's voice echoes in his head, his face ingrained into his thoughts, "Beautiful.... It's been one of the most beautiful days I've had since waking up."

Seongwoo witnesses as the boy's face wrinkles into a soft smile, "Aigoo, you're as cheesy as always. And what's with that smile? Someone already caught your eye?" He shakes his head, "I already feel bad for that person."

"Whyyyy?" Daniel whines and sulks, "I'm not that bad... I think I'll be a pretty decent boyfriend."

"This. This is the exact reason," Seongwoo nonchalantly wiggles his fingers side to side indicating a no, "Chingu, you're too honest. Girls love mysterious characters," he points at himself, "like the great Ong Seongwoo."

"Kuuk!!" The other almost choked on his banana milk.

"YA! You don't believe me?"

Daniel wipes the banana milk that spilled on his trousers, "Uhm. Well... I mean you're a great person, but I don't think being mysterious is one of your redeeming qualities. I don't think it's even in the list." Daniel has known the guy since he could remember, and if there's any quality the guy has starting with an "M" it would be "mischievous".

"Oh yeah? Well guess who got another love confession then?"

"Definitely, seriously, extremely 100% sure it's not you."

Seongwoo was intensely tempted to give his friend a fatal uppercut, "WOO! If only you didn't get run over by that car, I swear to god! I swear to fucking god! I ought to just punch that baby face of yours!" he grits his teeth as he controls his hands from strangling his friend.

Daniel only chuckles at his silly friend having a fit, "I'm kidding. How did the confession go? I guess you turned down the person?" He would know if Seongwoo gets a girlfriend because then he'd already be all over everyone's face bragging about it. But his friend hasn't said a word about it therefore, another girl's probably out there eating ice cream whilst crying.

"Not exactly. I couldn't decide right then and there so I said I'd think about it."

"Why? Who is it?"

The self-proclaimed mysterious namja sighs, "That's my current dilemma. If it was just any other person I'd say no, not because I'm not dying for a girlfriend, because for the record, as CNBlue once said 'oeteriya, oeteriya, daridiridaradu~', but I'm so busy with everything I can't afford to be in a relationship," he pauses, "but then again it's Jinhee. She's helped me a lot in school, with connections, and she's a nice girl too. How can I turn her down?"

 _Jinhee?_ Daniel was starting to worry.  _Jihoon wouldn't like this at all._

"Wait? Are you actually considering it?"

"I don't know. She's cute. Nonono! No! Got to focus in school! As Zach Efron sunbae-nim once said: Gotta get your head in the game!" Seongwoo slaps himself awake from the fluttering feeling in his stomach. He stops, with hands clumping his cheeks, he contemplates, "But she's seriously so kind and cute... She smells nice too. What do I do, Daniel-ah? Should I just accept it?"

Kang Daniel was conflicted. His friend obviously like this girl enough to make him even consider her but there was Jihoon, he doesn't how the boy would react to Seongwoo in a relationship. Before Daniel could organize his thoughts he blurts out, "What about Jihoon?"

"Jihoon?" Seongwoo was confuse at the mention of his dongsaeng's name, "What about him?"

 _Ah shit._ Daniel really didn't like keeping secrets from his best friend but just this one,  _Just this one time,_  he reasons to himself and replies to Seongwoo, "Uh...nothing. I was just spacing out. Hahaha... What were we talking about again?"

"Hmmm...," Daniel could hear Seongwoo's voice full of brooding mischief. Seongwoo has now turned to his friend. And with dramatic effort he exhales, "HMMMM....," he inched closer and asked," Is Jihoonie ** _your_** source of dilemma?"

"I- ah- hm-no?- yes!- ah- t-t-t-," he replies. Don't misunderstand and think that Daniel was stuttering. No, in fact his tongue has managed to decipher the mess and chaos in his head that has arise from Seongwoo's unexpected question. Every syllable that pops in his head has been clearly voiced out by his tongue, even when its in error mode like our current case at hand.

He clicks his tongue, "Tsk tsk tsk. Can you be more obvious?" And yet deep down, Seongwoo was happy his friend is actually beginning to live life normally like others do at their age. He felt like a proud mom, "I approve of Jihoon but just be careful, he might look small and fluffy but don't let that fool you, he's very rough and jagged around the edges. He can be a small ball of rage once you tick him off." He shivers remembering that time a fellow student spilled soup on the book Jihoon recently bought in the past. He wondered whether that student turned out alright.

 _Speaking of students..._  Seongwoo is reminded of the papers he has yet to research on.

He turns to his still confused friend, "I got to go and hit the desk. I wish you luck with your dilemma, I'll go and figure mine out too," He playfully blows him a kiss, "Goodnight and sweet dreams~"

The balcony door creaks as it closes and Daniel is left alone with his thoughts and worries,  _Jihoon-ah, will you be okay?_

 

* * *

 

 

The sun strikes straight above Dankook University giving some warmth to the busy and occupied students in the midst of fall. This would have been helpful and appreciated if only they haven't already wrapped themselves in fall jackets and scarves. Sweat drips down Daniel's face as he heaves through the doors of the old library Jihoon had showed him last time. He cautiously looks left and right being careful not to be followed by Guanlin. The boy had been helpful in every way and he's very grateful for that but Daniel could easily see the intentions behind Guanlin's actions. Daniel regards the library as a secret he shares with Jihoon and, although feeling a bit guilty, he didn't want to share Jihoon's whereabouts with anyone else. That's why Kang Daniel has spent the last half hour trying hard to lose the boy tailing him like a leprocon in search for the gold coins. Daniel knew he was the rainbow while Jihoon was the gold pot at the end.

 _A very tall leprecon, that is._ Daniel snickers by himself.

He proceeds to walk through the hallway of study desks as he looks over his phone and sulks,  _Why give your number if you aren't going to reply?_

They decided to meet every Monday for tutoring so where was this boy. He sighs as he looks up at the winding flight of stairs that seems never-ending.

_I wonder if we have Rapunzel cooped up in the eight floor today again._

"Let's go~" he chants as he brings himself up the staircase.

And exhales an, "Aigoo...," upon reaching the last floor.

And there it was, the same picturesque scene glistening like a fairytale background just as they have left it last week. He could understand why the small boy prefered the place over the crowded cafeteria and the suffocating library study desks.  _It really suits him._  The ambience and the gentle surrounding of the sunlit hallway of bookshelves seems befitting with Jihoon. Daniel couldn't really explain why but the comparison was as clear as today's weather.  _Now_ _where could he be hiding-_

 _I like you, hyung_ , a voice echoed in his head.

"Huh?" Daniel recognized the voice belonging to Jihoon but he wondered what in the world the boy was on about. He searched for him through the isles, one by one, and found nothing but the empty stale air which fill the space between the world of books. Once he arrived at a corner where a glass window opens to ventilate the room, he finds a figure of a petite boy crouched down and leaning by the bookshelf. The boy was wrapped in a comfy brightly colored sweater evidently a size bigger than him.

 _Salmon_ _pink suits him alot,_ the older boy's heart was welling up with adoreness. He's fatigue was gradually going away being replaced with a smile,  _he's so_ _fluffy and cute_.

But Jihoon was gravely focused on something to take notice of Daniel's presence. Daniel squints and sees that in Jihoon's hand, his phone displays what seems to be Seongwoo's newest instagram update, a pic Daniel himself took for his friend this morning.

 _I love you-_ Daniel heard the boy once again.

_No. no. I think that might scare him away._

_Seongwoo-hyung, I like you._

_I like you._

_I-_

"What are you doing?" He finally interjects.

Jihoon yelled in surprise, "Oh my fucking god!" he quickly turns off his phone and made a futile attempt to hide it away from the unexpected visitor's sight.

 _Too late,_ Daniel thought.

It took a moment for Jihoon to recognize the tall figure blending in the shadow casted by the walls. His vision focuses and adjusts as he makes out Kang Daniel's silhoutte standing just by the end of his bookshelf. He catches his breath and holds his chest to calm it down, "Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry to scare you.... again. But, for the record, aren't you the one being creepy here?"

Jihoon cleared his throat, embarrassed from what possibly Daniel have seen and heard him say, "I... I was just practicing... "

"Practicing?" Daniel furrowed his eyebrow, bewildered, "Don't tell me, are you practicing to confess to Seongwoo?" He desperately wishes his assumptions were wrong.

 _Confess..._ Jihoon blushed in response to the word.

Daniel notices the redness of the boy's face and the way he wrinkles his nose when uncomfortable," YA! You can't! "

"Wha-why not?!" Jihoon was appalled at the sudden disapproval, he didn't know why Daniel was even concerned in the first place.

"Because... ," Daniel starts.

Thoughts were quickly flooding to his head. He could go on about why this was a bad idea:  _Because_ _you might get rejected. Because Jinhee already confessed and because Seongwoo might just accept her. Because I don't want you to get hurt. Because I, because I like you._

And yet Daniel ends with, "...I said so?"

 _Ok_ _?_ The small boy was starting to become agitated.

"Uhm... Ah... Well, imagine if out of nowhere Guanlin confesses to you. How would you feel?"

"And why are you bringing Guanlin into this?"

"See? Wouldn't you think it doesn't make sense since you've always thought of him as a dongsaeng. Don't you think Seongwoo would feel the same way? I think you should take your time and wait... You know take small steps."

"Wait? That's what I've been doing for two years and now Seongwoo-hyung will be leaving in the next few months. How long am I supposed to just stand here and wait?"

"But-"

"It doesn't matter. I've made up my mind." Jihoon pauses, part of him already believes nothing will come out of his efforts but he simply couldn't let go of the idea of not seeing Seongwoo anymore, "Nothing will happen if I don't make a move,"

_Next thing I know, Seongwoo-hyung will graduate, he'll move far away and I'll never get to see him. Ever. Again._

"I know I'm stupid for hoping something will happen," Jihoon dejectedly wraps his hand around his arm and looks at the ground trying to muster up the ounces of courage he has left, "but I just can't let things go like that without even trying."

Daniel opens his mouth wanting to say something but he was left speechless. What could he say? He could see how the boy's trying so hard, finally taking that step he was always afraid to take. How could he tell him to stop? His courage seemed so fragile, Daniel was scared he could break them just with one word. He feel the strong need to help him and yet there was this uncomfortable tugging pain in his chest he couldn't shake away. He could understand the source of feelings swirling inside him, he knows the reason and its standing in front of him. But he didn't know what he could possibly do to calm them, right now that wasn't his priority, because right now he's not Jihoon's priority.

"So," he begins defeatedly, "how are you going to tell him?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Jihoon sits by the glass window, timid and unsure he asked, "D-do you think... I should bring flowers? I don't know, maybe chocolates?"

Daniel chuckles, "Flowers and chocolates?"

 _Is that too much?_ Jihoon scratches his head as he looks at the ground, cheeks blushing,  _I- I've never confessed before so I don't know what to do..._

 _Damn you, Seongwoo._ Daniel cursed his stupid friend smiling naively in his mind. He had no idea what Seongwoo ever did in his past life to deserve Jihoon.

"Here," Daniel reached for his wallet and takes out a rectangular card, "Confess then give him a coupon for a free massage."

"Hyung, you're not helping! "

"Well because you're so serious about this. It's Seongwoo were talking about. That guy doesn't do serious. Just relax and tell him. You don't need to do anything fancy to woo that guy, you know him, he might be a cuckoo head but he's a kind person. "

_Funny... Seongwoo-hyung said the same thing about you..._

_"_ Seongwoo did?"

"Hm? Yeah," Jihoon realizes, "Now that I think about it, both of you are very similar in many ways."

 _Similar, huh..._  The older boy thinks to himself,  _if we're so similar, then why not me instead?_

And yet he stands there realizing that the reason is time. The same time passing by the second as he stands there looking at Jihoon smiling with just the simple mention of Seongwoo's name.

_Maybe if we have met first, maybe that'd have been my name making you smile._

But time is not something that can be taken back and Daniel himself knows the severity of losing it. He just hopes destiny will be kind enough to let him live it this time around. So he takes note of things that defines the passing of time - the sound of the ticking  clock filling the silence of the library, the dust flying in the rays of the sun, and  the clouds slowly drifting outside the window. Letting all these motions as they are, to  give himself the reassurance that he's present in the now.

 _At least this time, I'm here_. _From here, I can start being with you._

"Wait, you're here for tutoring right?" Jihoon turns to him as he finally  remembers their agreement on Mondays.

"Yeah, glad you remembered."

Jihoon checks his watch, "Well, we still have time left before my next class, shall we start now?"

Daniel's eye wrinkles into a smile as he replies, "There's no better time to."

 

* * *

Another late night with 2park in a convenience store: 

 

"Woojin-ah!" Jihoon sprints from the other end of the store's isle to his friend who was looking for chips.

"Pick quickly. This one or this one?"

Jihoon displays two boxes of chocolates on both his hands.

 _Here we go again..._ Woojin blankly stares at the two identical looking boxes.

"How many chocolates are we buying?!" Woojin gestures to the other boxes of chocolates Jihoon picked and had already put in their cart.

"Just pick!" Jihoon frustratedly jumps up and down.

 _Th_ _ey look the same so there's no need to fuss over this. Careful decisions should be made for important matters only,_ Woojin was a pragmatic man of course.

"This one," Woojin points at the right box just for the heck of it.

"OK! I'm done then. Hurry up so we can leave," Jihoon was easily persuaded.

 _Too easy,_ Woojin was suspicious. By this time Jihoon would be asking him a million reasons why he picked that one in particular. But the boy was obediently waiting and smiling beside him with the cart of groceries.

Woojin knows that Jihoon was buying chocolates to confess to his Seongwoo-hyung but,  _Something's up,_ he speculated as he returns to looking for his chips.

\-----

"Annyeong kids, got all your stuff?" The cashier starts going through Woojin and Jihoon's stuff.

"Oh, hi Jisung-hyung! You work today?" Woojin replies and Jihoon waves hi beside him.

"Yeah, almost done though," Jisung notices the amount of chocolates he had already scanned and asked, "you guys preparing for halloween? You're buying an awful lot of chocolates."

Woojin taps Jihoon's back and announces, "My friend here finally grew some balls to confess to his unrequited love."

Jisung makes an "Ooooh~" as he smiled coyly at Jihoon, "I see~"

Jihoon fakes a smile while pinching and twisting Woojin's back.

"Owowow that hurts!" Woojin flinched away.

Jisung pauses midway of scanning and recalls, "Aigoo~ Young love... I remember my first love back in the day. Oh the butterflies! Waiting for your crush after school to catch a glimpse, leaving love letters by their lockers-" Jisung went on but the two have stopped listening to the older blabber about his own first love.

Jihoon whispers, "This is why you should shut the hell up. Jisung-hyung take hours talking! " he continues to pinch Woojin at the back.

The two boys finally escapes Jisung's one-man talk show and reaches their dorm.

Jihoon gathers all his boxes of chocolates and heads to his room with them. After awhile he goes out and sits right beside Woojin who just finished sorting and organizing their groceries.

"What do you want?" Woojin asks.

"Chingu who has always been by my side, this is for you," he shyly hands his friend the chocolate he made him pick.

"Why are you giving this to me? Isn't it for your Seongwoo-hyung?"

"This is an advance thank you gift for helping me rehearse for tomorrow," he beams at him with his cheeky smile.

_I knew there was something up with this guy!_

"And who said I was going to be your pretend Seongwoo?! Confess to your stuff toy or something, I have better things to do," he starts to stand up from the couch but Jihoon pulls him back.

"Just this once! Pleeeeaaaaaase?"

"Nope, not this time Jihoon." Woojin loosens Jihoon's grip and walks towards his room.

"I can't believe this is what it boils down to," Woojin hears Jihoon's voice filled with anguish, "You're friend finally has the courage to get what he has always wished for and you leave him in the middle of the battle for love!"

 _Ah fucking shit what soap opera is he watching nowadays,_ Woojin was tired of Jihoon's antique.

The boy continues his monolugue behind Woojin and yells out, "The agony!!! Thy name is friendship!!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" The enraged boy turns and tackles his friend down the couch.

Jihoon who was pinned down under Woojin grip wipes down a non-existant tear from his eyes, "Kill me now friend. I will never be prepared for tomorrow's horror in the face of my true love. So end me now.... End my pain now."

Woojin was gravely tempted to thought,  _If I stuff his mouth with all the chocolates he bought, that might just do the trick._

But he knows his friend. Woojin knows that even with Jihoon joking around like this, he's friend is serious and nervous for tomorrow.

"Are you really confessing tomorrow? What if he says no?" Woojin locks eyes with Jihoon asking him with genuine concern.

The curtain closes and Jihoon breaks character as  his head  falls back into the couch and he sighs, "I don't know anymore. I just want to get it over with. My heart's too tired being in stand-by. But part of me is scared," he sighs once more, "I really don't know. I just want Seongwoo-hyung to finally see me, like actually look at me more than just a kid."

Woojin gets off Jihoon's stomach and helps him up,"Ok. Let's start then. The sooner we begin the faster this misery will end for me. "

Jihoon grabs his hand and pulls him into a hug, "Yaaaay! I really love you chingu!" 

Woojin cringes at his friend's sudden confession of love, "Have we started already?"

 

* * *

 

 

Tuesday morning came, but the sun was too tired to make an appearance. It decided that you know what today, I'll let the rain clouds take over.  _I too deserve a break_ , the almighty sun thought as he hid behind the looming and grey clouds. So the students of Dankook University, unprepared from the sudden showers of rain scrambled to their lecture halls like ants. Weirdly enough, one of these students was supposedly a mindreader who has failed to hear the thoughts of the sun.

Jihoon on the other hand, in the midst of students running around, calmly walked with a pink umbrella at hand,  _Today is the day,_ he nervously smiles.

He lifts his umbrella up to look ahead and sees Daniel a hundred yards away naively trying to cover himself with his backpack over his head.

_Oh?!_

Jihoon, giddy with both nervousness and excited butterflies ever since he woke up, happily calls him over, 

_DANIEEEEL-HYUUUNG!!!_

Daniel jumps and flinches from the sudden booming voice in his head and screams out loud, "What the fuck?!"

He turns and sees Jihoon under a bright pink umbrella also shock and mouths an "I'm sorry" as Daniel jogs towards him.

 _Sorry, hyung. I didn't think you'd be that scared,_ he apologizes once again as he lifts the umbrella and lets Daniel enter under its cover.

"Hahaha. It's fine, I was just preoccupied with something so I was caught off guard. Cute umbrella by the way," Daniel points out and asked, "Do you want me to hold it? I think that would be better since I'm you know, taller."

"Ok, yeah sure, I'd hate to get your hair caught in the metal parts," Jihoon embarrassingly noted as he sees Daniel's head actually touching the roof of the umbrella.

The two continued to walk close together, shoulder and arms bumping against each other. Daniel tried very hard to hide how happy he was but he couldn't help but steal glances of Jihoon beside him. He badly wishes he could capture the moment and stay here longer with Jihoon. The sound of the raindrops as it hits the umbrella, the chilly breeze making the small boy's cheeks flush red, and the smell of Jihoon's hair shampoo filled Daniel's senses. 

 _If only time could stop right now..._. 

On the receiving side, Jihoon was always hyper-aware when people directs their attention to him. Without looking, he announces, "Daniel-hyung, if you have something to say, say it." 

"Huh? Oh, uhm," Daniel awkwardly runs his fingers through his blonde hair, embarrassed from being found out, "I.... was just wondering if you were ready for today, you know, the confession and uh yeah..."

"Oh! Good thing you reminded me."

Jihoon removes his backpack and wears it again, just this time in the front by his stomach instead. He opens it and emerges with a pink ribbon and a box of chocolates.

"Wait, you're actually giving him chocolates?" Daniel's eyebrows furrowed with jealousy.

"I've always wanted to give him one every Valentine's day..." Jihoon murmurs as he removed the sheet from the double-sided tape of the ribbon and presses it on the center of the box.

Daniel's gripped on the umbrella tightened as he huffed with unfairness towards his stupid friend,  _Fuck you Seongwoo. Did you save a fucking country before because you sure didn't do anything in this lifetime to even deserve shit as chocolates-_

Jihoon looks up and asks him,  "-do you think it's too much?"

Daniel marvels at how big and sparkly Jihoon's eyes were, he almost got lost in them.

"Huh? Oh, no, well you already have it might as well give it." 

 _There's always the option of giving it to me though,_ Daniel thought.

"I was going to give him more but my friend insisted in giving Seongwoo-hyung only one. He said too much chocolates might just be enough to bribe him to say yes. I honestly didn't see anything wrong with that."

"HAHAHA!!" Daniel convulsed with laughter, "And here I was worried you'd be too stress about your confession I didn't think you'd be able joke around like this!"

Jihoon didn't react and his voice was stern as he points out, "I wasn't joking."

Daniel quickly forced a stop to his laughter and was left silent and awkward.

"Pffft..haha...ha," Daniel looks down and sees Jihoon's body shaking.

"Are you ok?..." he asked. 

Jihoon couldnt control his laughter any longer and finally gave up, "Bwahahaha! I got you, hyung! Hahaha!"

"Oh!" Daniel starts to laugh along with the small boy, "You scared me there for a second!"

Jihoon covers his huge smile and points at Daniel, "Hyung, you should have seen your face. It was so funny! HAHAHA!"

"Hehehe..Was it?" Daniel scractched his face as it blushes from the attention Jihoon's giving him. 

Daniel wished the boy would just let the world see his smile, but he still basks in the close proximity of Jihoon's face to his. The day might have started off as gloomy but Jihoon's smile just made it a tad more brighter for our boy Daniel.

\------

The two reached the Main Hall and Jihoon opens the door for Daniel who collapses the umbrella and wiggles it dry. 

"That was quite a walk,wouldn't you agree my two handsome men?" Ong Seongwoo greets them from behind as he closes his own umbrella and smiles at Jihoon who was holding the door open.

"Hyung?!" Jihoon gasped, hiding the box of chocolates behind him as Seongwoo walk in and pass him by.

Daniel too was perplexed, "Were you behind us?!" 

"Well, yeah, just awhile ago I saw you guys walking together when I exited the West Wing building. I didn't want to disturb you two lovebirds~ You seemed like you were having a good time laughing and giggling."

Seongwoo winks at Daniel and silently mouths, "I got you fam."

But Daniel was looking pass by him to Jihoon who was behind panicking,  _Did you think he heard us?!_

Daniel takes turn looking at Seongwoo and Jihoon before shrugging his shoulders to motion  _I don't know!_

Jihoon sees Daniel's moving his shoulder but he was already catastrophizing the situation,  _What do I do Daniel-hyung?! What if he heard me talk about him?! I'm ruined!_

Daniel wanted to calm the boy down but he simply couldn't talk to him about it with Seongwoo between them who in fact had a good news he couldn't wait to share.

"Guess what?" He grins at Daniel.

"Huh?" Daniel was still preoccupied with Jihoon answers absently,  "What?"

"Who has two thumbs and got himself a girlfriend?" Seongwoo holds up both thumbs and points at himself and pauses for dramatic effect, "This guy~"

"WAIT, WHAT?!" Daniel and Jihoon asks in unison from both in front and behind Seongwoo.

"Jinhee asked me again this morning and I thought, 'What the heck! We could at least try!' And look what she got me!" Seongwoo reached into his jacket and brings out a box, "They're handmade chocolates!!!"

Daniel's eyes desperately reached out to Jihoon's who's pair of dejected eyes stares at the box Seongwoo's holding. 

 _Oh god,_ Daniel sighed.

There was silence. Before, there were endless thoughts flooding the small boy but now Daniel hears nothing but deafening silence. There were things that would leave your mind empty, but directly hits you right in the heart. Daniel couldn't hear his thoughts, but he could see the boy's heart breaking right in front of him.

"Jihoon! The box! Give it!" He barked in order to snap the small boy from his state.

But Jihoon refuses to budge as he firmly grabs onto it.

 _At least give yourself that accomplishment!_ He badly wished Jihoon could hear him. But Jihoon couldn't bear it anymore. He opens the door where they came from and takes off in the rain, accidentally stepping on the pink ribbon that has fallen from the box on his way out. 

 _Aish!_ Daniel growled.

"Seongwoo, I'll catch up to you later," he pats Seongwoo's back.

His friend was confused, "What's going on? Where did Jihoon go?"

"Uh, I remembered he has an important seminar to go to. I have to return the umbrella to him. I'll see you!" He waves his friend good bye and runs after Jihoon.

"Jihoon! Wait!" Daniel yells out to the boy, "YAA!" But his voice was drained by the sound of the raindrops.

 _This is so embarrassing,_ Jihoon cries out. He felt humiliated as he realizes it was hopeless, he felt stupid for even trying.  _Seongwoo-hyung should have a girlfriend. I never had a chance, I knew that from the very beginning!_  His shoes collides with an uneven tile of the paved sidewalk and he trips, stumbling down on the wet cemented ground. 

"Jihoon! Are you ok?!" Daniel rushes and kneels down beside the boy who was having difficulty standing up.

"Stay still for now," he opens the umbrella and covers Jihoon with it, "Where does it hurt?!"

Jihoon was still silent, turning away from Daniel trying to avoid him seeing the tears well up in his eyes. 

"Ya, Jihoon," his voice much softer, trying to get through to him, "talk to me. If you're hurt, you should cry. There's no point in holding it back."

Jihoon shakes his head and says, "I can't. There's nothing to cry about," he quickly wipes the teardrops that has made its way down his cheeks, tears that he couldn't fight off, "I can't cry," Jihoon reminds himself.

"Why do you think that way?" Daniel wraps his arms around the boy and brings him into an embrace in his effort to hide and shield the boy from all the pain of a broken heart. 

The rain has soaked his clothes but Jihoon felt sudden warmth from Daniel's hold. There was the same feeling of safety and comfort he had felt the first time they met when Daniel had helped him with his panic attack.

Daniel brings him closer to his chest and gently whispers, "Of course you can, Jihoon-ah. Cry and I'll be right here. No one else can see or hear you right now."

The older boy's words broke the rope he was barely hanging on to keep himself together and his body limps as he lets himself fall and break down into a sob.

"Hyuuung," Jihoon cries unto Daniel's chest.

Daniel gently pats the boy's back, "There we go, let it all out."

"I..., I loved him first," Jihoon says in between cries, "it's not fair..."

"I know. I know," Daniel tenderly comforted the boy, "It's really not fair."

Jihoon's body rocked back and forth as he lets out another huge sob. Daniel strengthened his grab around him not wanting to let go. He depressingly looks down at Jihoon uncontrollably crying within his arms, and he feels his own heart twisting in pain.

"Aigoo, Jihoon-ah," Daniel murmurs under his breath,  _You're breaking my heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for so many things....
> 
> One, for uploading late and second, because I won't be having enough time to work on it this coming week but i will try T.T  
> Also, my heart breaks a little when writing angst so just cri with me
> 
> Again sry for everything i hope every1 will have a great spooky Halloween~~~


	6. I hope you didn't hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel and Jihoon takes a break from school for the day and spends it together in the dorm Daniel shares with Seongwoo. A chapter full of confessions they all wish are left unheard.

Two boys enter Dankook's on-campus dormitory, both drenched, the water dripping from their cold and heavy clothes and down to the white tiles of the hallway leaving a trail. Jihoon looks at it, feeling guilty for whoever is going to clean it up.

With every step, he begins to question his choices as he continues to trail Daniel behind in the quiet hallway, passing by empty rooms of students who are currently in their lecture.

_I should also be in my lectu-_

"AH...ah...ACHOO!!" His sneeze echoes throughout the long white hallway disrupting the silence of the deserted rooms. 

The older boy turns around, worry evident in his voice, "Oh no, are you getting sick?" 

Jihoon teeth clatters as his body shivers from the cold wet clothes he's wearing, "I-I'm fine, hyung. J-just a bit cold."

 Daniel stops in front of room 304 and hurriedly searches for his access key.  

Now that Jihoon is in front of the room Daniel shares with Seongwoo, he wonders whether he made the right decision. He doesn't know what went through his head when he agreed to follow Daniel,  _I'm dumb, I should just go home-_

"Come on, Seongwoo won't be back until late at night."

"But, I-I think I should just go home Daniel-hyung."

"You live an hour away! You're going to get sick by the time you reach your apartment. Come on," Daniel walks behind Jihoon and grits his teeth as he pushes him by the shoulder until they both reach the living room.

_But Seongwoo-hyung will-_

"-like I said before, he always comes home late, you'll be long gone by then so don't worry too much." 

Daniel directs Jihoon to the washroom, "Take off your clothes while I get you something to change on. There's a towel there that you can use to dry yourself with."

Jihoon nods as he enters the washroom. With great difficulty, he removes his wet sweater that stubbornly sticks to his skin. He steps out of his jeans, being careful not to brush by the cuts and bruises on his legs from falling earlier.

Daniel checks on Jihoon, "Are you ok in there? Do you need help?"

Jihoon's eyes snap at the doorknob that he forgot to lock, "No, hyung! I-I'm fine!"

"Oh ok..." 

Daniel waits outside the washroom holding a pair of black shorts, a used pair of boxers, a pink shirt he got as a souvenir before from an amusement park in highschool.

He finds it difficult to speak up in the situation, his feet giddily rocks back and forth, head scratching before he found the timing to ask, "I-I have your clothes here, where do you want me to leave-"

Before he could finish his sentence, the washroom door slowly creaks open just enough for Jihoon to be able to reach his hand out open to where Daniel is.

"Oh ok, here you go," Daniel shyly puts it on Jihoon's awaiting hand, he looks away embarrassingly even if the small boy can't even be seen from where he's standing.

Once he feels the clothes within his hold, Jihoon takes his hand inside, closes the door shut and looks through the clothing he was given.

 _A pink shirt, black shorts, and a...._ Jihoon's face twist in disgust, his eyebrows furrowing as he stares at what seems to be Daniel's underwear.

 _What the fuck?_  

"Hyung..."

Daniel ears perks up from being called, "Yeah?"

The door opens once again and Jihoon's hand emerges barely holding a checkered pair of boxers by its garter, almost unwilling to touch the underwear further.

"Is this yours?"

"Um yes....You see, I really don't have any new ones I can lend you. But rest assured, it's been washed and I've only had that for a month so it's pretty new if you think about it!"

Jihoon furiously wiggles the underwear back and forth,  _Do you really expect me to use someone else's underwear?!_

"Do you want to use Seongwoo's?"

"Hell no!"

"Then are you going commando?"

Daniel couldn't see pass the door but he could imagine Jihoon's face. On the other side of the door, slouched from cold, the small boy's cheeks puffs red as he cowers and dies from embarrassment. 

 Jihoon curses the universe he believe is always working against him and whispers too softly, Daniel almost misses it, "I said I should just go home hyung...."  

"Look, I really don't mind sharing it with you."

_NO! That's not the problem here! Please stop asking me about using your used underwear!_

Jihoon throws the underwear at Daniel before he abruptly closes the door. The infamous checkered underwear lands right on the older boy's face.

He sniffs it and thinks,  _Smells brand new to me..._

Daniel hears Jihoon's drowned voice softly mumbling from inside the washroom calling out to him, "Hyung..."  

Daniel quickly snatches the underwear from his face and pretends to be a normal person who's mature enough to not sniff underwears. He clears his throat and replies, "Yeah? Do you need anything else?"

Jihoon opes his mouth to speak but something in him cannot voice out what he wants to say. He hates showing that he cares, he hates wearing his heart in his sleeves, and he hates being this vulnerable. There is a long pause before Jihoon finally sends him a message he cannot physically speak out loud,  _Hyung, should also change now too. I 'd feel bad if you get sick because of me. I've already cause you too much trouble._

"Oh, right", Daniel looks down and finally notices his wet and freezing clothes. He marvels at the power of distraction and how Jihoon's presence is enough to make him forget his surroundings. 

"Ok, I'll go change too I guess. Also, you're not bothering me at all. I don't mind!" He wants the make it clear to the boy.

 _I really don't. I'm actually happy I get to spend time with you even if its stolen times like this,_ but Daniel isn't sure whether Jihoon feels the same way.

 _Of course he doesn't. The only reason he's here right now is because I forced him to go with me._ Daniel didn't want to leave the boy alone especially after what happened this morning. He couldn't bear to see the boy walk away heartbroken so he took it upon himself to care for him and be the one beside him even if it's just for today.

Jihoon steps out of the washroom in his pink shirt and black shorts feeling embarrassed and weird for not wearing anything else under.

 _I'd rather die first in a tragic death and burn in hell before I use someone else's underwear._  

The curtain by the living room had been tied on the side lighting up the small living room. Jihoon scans the area and notices piles of books on the floor, beside the couch, covering the TV, and basically on every desk surface available in the room,  _Probably Seongwoo-hyung's. Very typical of a senior student._

The place itself gives off a sense of comfort with the Christmas songs on the radio resonating throughout the tiny white-walled room, the soft green-apple couch adding a pop of colour to the otherwise monochrome wallpaper, and the line of pictures hanging by the wall needing of some dusting off.

Jihoon walks up to take a closer look at it. He sees a bunch of happy faces that seems to be Seongwoo-hyung's family members. Further to the right, a picture of two kids, wearing a middle-school uniform, arms on each other's shoulders and smiling widely for the camera. One had three moles on his cheeks while the other had one right under his right eye. 

 _Seongwoo-hyung and Daniel-hyung?_   _So cute!_

He takes out his phone and takes a quick snap of it for safe-keeping.

Jihoon hears clanking of metallic pots and sees Daniel rummaging about in the kitchen.

"Are you cooking Daniel-hyung?"

"Huh? Oh this? Seongwoo cooked this for dinner last night. I can only cook rice and heat things up."

"Seongwoo-hyung cooks?"

"Right? Not something you'd expect from someone like him. I was also amazed because he could barely fry an egg in highschool and he set a toast on fire once during home economics class. But he said he had to learn in order to save money from ordering all the time."

Daniel hands a bowl to Jihoon. He then directs his gaze down Jihoon's body and grins as he stops and stares at his shorts.

The younger boy glares at him, "Stop. I know what you're thinking. Just. Please. Stop."

But Daniel, being the tease he is, asks, "Ain't it breezy down there?"

Jihoon simply sighs and decides to ignore Daniel. He places the bowl on the table and reaches for a spoon. He tastes the food and shivers in disgust as soon as the food touches his taste buds, "Aaaah! Yuck, ugh what is this thing?!"

The older chuckles almost as if he's already anticipating the other's reaction, "It's Seongwoo's original recipe. He calls it 'The Awakening'."

"It's disgusting!" Jihoon's stomach reflex makes his whole body bends and retch from deep inside, "Blurgh! You said he could cook?!"

" I never said he was a  _ **good**_  cook, just that he could at least make something edible and not deadly."

"Are you even sure about that?" 

"I mean I eat what he cooks everyday and look at me, I'm totally fine."

Jihoon refuses to believe a normal person can actually eat the diabolical soup in the bowl and Daniel for sure wasn't what you would call normal, "Define what you mean by 'fine'. "  

"If it's that bad, " Daniel takes the bowl from his hand and replaces it with a steaming cup of ramen noodles he originally prepared for himself, "Eat this instead. Just be careful, it's still quite hot."

"Wait, isn't this yours?"

"It's fine, I'll get another one later. Go sit on the couch and I'll look for something to put on those bloody legs of yours."

Jihoon does as his told and heads to the living room being extra careful not to burn his hand in the process. 

Daniel searches through the dusty cabinets and brings out a first aid box. He walks to where Jihoon has sat and has started slurping his ramen. Daniel sits with crossed legs on the carpeted floor just in front of Jihoon which startles the small boy. 

"What are you doing hyung?" Daniel is sitting directly below him and he feels awkwardly too close for comfort.

The boy on the floor then takes out a bottle of rubbing alcohol and starts spraying it onto the cotton balls, "What else?"

He holds them up and asks Jihoon for permission to disinfect his legs, "Can I?" 

"Y-you don't have to....I can do it by myself, hyung. I'll finish eating and apply it after." He replies, almost like a plea for Daniel to stop.

"Why? You always want to do things by yourself. I'm right here, so just let hyung help you, ok?"

"O-ok..." Jihoon relaxes his tensed legs and lets Daniel clean his cuts.

Daniel examines Jihoon's bruise and scolds him, "Aigoo aigoo, You keep running away here and there but you can't even run straight."

"Its not my fault they did a terrible job with tiling the side walk. AW, hyung! That stings!" Jihoon winces from the contact of alcohol on his open wound.

"Well you shouldn't have run like that in the first place. Now look at you, sick and bruised. Which reminds me, you need to take a cold syrup after you eat. Can't have you going around sick for days."

_Yes, mom._

Daniel snickers and continues to gently dab the cotton ball onto the cuts, taking time to make sure he covers all of them.

Daniel sees Jihoon flinching and whining every time he disinfects a wound. He leans closer and starts blowing on his cuts to lessen the sting of the alcohol.

The sudden warmth of Daniel's breath sends a shiver up Jihoon's spine and he jumps in surprise, "Eeek! D-Daniel-hyung stop!"

"Huh? Why? Doesn't it feel better when I blow on it?"

"No, it's weird! Don't do that again!" Jihoon's face turns a burning shade of red he's hiding behind his shaky hands covering his expression.

Daniel oblivious as always apologizes, "Oh my bad. I thought it would help," and turns to the first aid box in search of band-aids.

"How are you feeling? "

"Huh?" Jihoon still trying to calm himself down from Daniel's sudden attack to his privacy, "I-I feel ok. It was freezing earlier but I feel much better after changing. "

"Not that. I mean are you ok with just leaving it like that?" It's not something that Daniel wanted to bring up, but he wants to know the other's okay. He knows how much Jihoon prepared for today, the boy's dark circles around his eyes makes it obvious he probably couldn't sleep last night.

On the receiving end, the question takes Jihoon by surprise and it brings him back to the reality of his pre-maturely ended love confession, "It's not like I can do anything else..."

"After all that speech you gave me yesterday, you're giving up that easily?"

"What do you want me to say? 'I like you Seongwoo-hyung please leave your new girlfriend and be with me instead', " Jihoon jeers at his own pathetic self, "Even with Jinhee out of the picture, I don't think I stood a chance, he'll probably just feel sorry for me."

"You don't know that," Daniel argues. He might not like listening to Jihoon fawn over Seongwoo but he hates it more when the other brings himself down. 

"Yes, I do."

"There you go again. You always expect the worse. Will it hurt you to just give yourself that hope?"

"That's not it. I'm being practical," Jihoon counters defensively whilst chewing noodles, "You're just too positive Daniel-hyung. The world might be crumbling to pieces and you'd still be smiling saying 'Well, that was a good life hahaha' as you burn into ash."

Daniel laughs at how silly Jihoon perceives him to be.

 _See? Hyung smiles all the time.... like a stupid puppy_.

Daniel stops what he was doing and with a solemn look asks, "You want to pet me then?"

Jihoon half spits his food and sprays pieces of noodles on Daniel who miserably fails to avoid them.

"GOSH OKAY," he cries out, "I get it, you are repulsed by me. No need for such reaction, you're offending me."

"It's not that," Jihoon wipes his face, snickering as he picks out food from Daniel's head one by one. Daniel feels Jihoon's fingers brushing through his hair and he couldn't quite tell whether he's just sensitive to the boy's touch leaving a tingly sensation on his head or is it the ramen noodles burning through his scalp. Either way, he didn't mind. 

"Daniel-hyung always says bizarre things."

"Do I really?"

"I remember the first time we met, you just went on about blabbering about how you can hear me from the building. I had no idea what you were talking about then."

"Oh..yeah. In my defense, you did kept calling me crazy. Now that I remember, you never even answered my question, what part of me seemed crazy to you?" Daniel awaits for an answer.

"Just..." Jihoon recollects the first time he saw Daniel, wearing all black, standing tall and confident amidst the crowd,  _I don't how you could just stand in the middle of a crowd alone seeming not to care._

"Fair enough, do you still think I'm crazy?"

"Well yeah but in a different way."

"What way?"

Jihoon meets Daniel in the eye and makes a silly hand gesture that seems to mimic radiation circling around his head, "You know, the whole reading mind  **thingie**." 

 _'Thingie'?_ Daniel looks down to stop himself from convulsing,  _Oh god, why so cute._

 "And you did seem like a creepy stalker in the beginning following me around school."

"A creepy stalker?! Me?!"

"Yeah, I forgot to also add annoying as hell."

"Hmph!" Daniel sulks and directly sprays alcohol on one of the cuts, sending a sharp pain on the boy's legs.

"AW HYUNG! What was that for?!" Jihoon almost spilled the noodles by surprise.

"Sorry, it was an accident. Forgive this creepy and annoying stalker of yours."

"Accidental my ass. Is that how you're gonna be? Let me remind you I have a hot cup of noodles that I can 'accidentally'  pour on your head!" Jihoon taunts him and pretends to tilt the cup.

Daniel flinches and recoils into a ball, "Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I won't do it again!"

"I thought so. Just try that again and I swear to god your ass will find its way in an underground laboratory."

"Yes. Yes. I'm sorry." Daniel bobs his head up and down as he admits defeat to the raging ball of fury he has unleashed. He then quietly goes back into treating Jihoon's cuts. After awhile,he giggles as he recalls the boy's cute voice saying  _"thingie"._

He stops and realizes something,  _Ok, I may be just a bit creepy..._  He does a small nod to himself,  _Just- just a bit..._

\----

The two spends the next few minutes in quietude, Jihoon eating the rest of his noodles and Daniel still sitting down across him bandaging up the last few cuts, both peacefully listening to the familiar Christmas tunes that brings about a warm and cozy feeling on a cold winter day. When Daniel finishes up with putting band-aids, he exclaims,

"All done!"

Jihoon looks down and sees flowery band-aids plastered around his legs.

"You like it?" Daniel looks at him with enthusiasm too adorable to let down.

Jihoon marvels at the duality of the guy and goes along with him,"Yeah, it's really cute."

"Hehehe... Right? It suits you a lot." With that, Daniel closes the box and puts the stuff away happily, with a skip and a trot, towards the cabinets near the window.

Jihoon observes his happy trot and could almost imagine a tail wagging behind Daniel,  _He's really like a puppy..._

Daniel giggles upon hearing Jihoon's voice from behind. He opens the cabinet and beams,  _Like a puppy, huh?_

He blushes,  _Does he think I'm cute then?_

He shakes his head like a goofball,  _Nah, nah...._  And, in a blink of an eye, a smile appears on his face from ear to ear as he wonders, _but what if?_

The giant puppy proceeds to giggle at the possibility.

He doesn't realize Jihoon staring at him in bewilderment as he continues to smile and laugh by himself in the corner of the room and with the most sarcasm the small boy could muster whispers to himself, "Uh-huh... that ain't creepy at all." 

\---------------------

"So... Uhm..." Daniel sits beside Jihoon, now with his own cup of ramen, "What do you want to do? Do you want to study together?"

Jihoon whines at the mention of studying, "Hyung, can we take a break from school and textbooks for today? "

"Oh ok yeah sure. Gladly," he slurps a spoonful of soup and continues, "Anything you have in mind?"

"I don't know," Jihoon scans the messy living room and notes the Wii console that seems to have been neglected for a long time, "What games do you have?"

"Oh that? Just the game that came with it, virtual sports and whatnot. We barely played because Seongwoo's always busy."

"OK!" Jihoon clasps his hands together, "Let's try it then! I haven't played a Wii game since highschool."

Daniel prepares the game while Jihoon clears up the living room to give them space to move around. When playing, Jihoon's philosophy is either go big or go home. If they're going to play Wii seriously, then he's going to need all the space he can to beat Daniel. Jihoon takes his time to make sure he removes any valuable furniture that can break from their upcoming intense match. He recalls the tragic incident when Woojin accidentally broke an antique vase when the controller slipped off his hand as they were playing virtual baseball. His grandma was so pissed she kicked them out of the house the rest of the day.

"Seriously?" Daniel laughs as he listens to the boy's recollection.

"Uh.. yeah," Jihoon's reminded of Daniel's transparent view of his thoughts.

"Oh sorry, my bad. I didn't mean to."

"No, it's fine," Jihoon finds himself less annoyed about the matter, "I know you can't control it even if you want to. It's also not so bad. I'm slowly getting used to it."

"Really?" The answer takes Daniel by surprised. Jihoon had been telling him to get out of his mind all this time, and now that someone actually knows about his quirk and is putting up with it makes him delighted.

"Yeah, it's fine hyung. Let's start?"

Daniel hands him a Wii controller and the two decides to play table tennis for their first game. 

"You know how to play right?" Daniel turns to Jihoon.

"Yeah, you just swing it like you're actually playing table tennis," Jihoon flaps his arms back and forth to demonstrate.

"Woah! Ok, there kid," Daniel flinches to dodge Jihoon's uncontrollable hands and laughs at the excited jigglypuff, "I guess we're good to play!"

\-----------------------

Daniel exhales from exhaustion and sinks into the sofa, "I think we should take break... my arms are falling off."

"Already?" Jihoon stomps his feet, "We've only been playing for two-" he checks his watch, "no- three hours! You're such a weakling!"

Daniel grabs a pillow and crawls into a ball, "Say what you want, this grandpa has to rest."

"Fine, I understand. You're too tired from continuously losing? Let's take a break then, I'm also tired from counting all my wins. Hehehe..." Jihoon flashes his cheeky smile to the other.

Daniel smirks as he waves him away and Jihoon walks to the fridge to get both of them a drink. When he gets back, he finds Daniel dozing off into dreamland.

"Hyung?" He checks on the limp body of the older, "Woah, how can you fall asleep that fast."

 _Heh._ Jihoon giggles observing the other's slow breathing,  _Really_ _like a giant puppy._

There's a certain warmth that surrounds Daniel. Jihoon can't pinpoint the source of it. Is it his smile? His childlike and pure heart? Or his eyes? They're always trying to reach out and reassure him. Whatever it was, Jihoon feels safe and secure close to him. Jihoon's hand find its way to the other boy's head. He gently pats and caresses Daniel's soft hair and lets out what he's been meaning to say since the beginning,

_Thank you, Daniel-hyung. Thank you for staying with me today._

Impulsively, Daniel reaches out and grabs Jihoon's hand, the same hand that left burning sensations still lingering through his skin. Jihoon tries to yank it away but Daniel's hold is firm and refuses to withdraw.

"I let it go before but if you keep doing this," he opens his eyes and locks onto Jihoon's, "I'll start thinking I actually have a chance. "

"What?"

Daniel's eye widen as he realizes what he had just said. With a clattered brain he lies, "J-J-Joke!"

"Huh?"

"I-I'm joking! It was something I saw from this drama I was watching the other day! I've always wanted to try saying it. Hahaha..." Daniel could feel the awkwardness resounding through every breath in his laugh. 

"O...k...?"

He pauses, let's Jihoon's hand free and with abruptness to escape the situation, he stretches his arms, fakes a yawn and tells Jihoon, "I'm going to take a nap!" He jumps up from his laying position, trips as he stands up, and hurriedly walks away from the confused boy. Upon entering his room, the door closes, and he collapses into a ball of mess. He buries his flushed face on the pillow he was hugging from the couch but had forgotten to put down in the chaotic turn of events. 

 _Am I dumb?!!! Aaaaaaaaah!!!!_ Daniel internally screams, his heart beating so fast from almost being found out. He continuously hit his head with the pillow and his internal screaming  quickly turns into internal sobbing as he recalls every syllable that came out of his mouth,  _I am done with myself...I will move into a different country, change my name, and start a new life!_

Jihoon stares at the hand Daniel had held and cradles it on his chest, trying to calm his own heart beating like a drum, "What in the world just happened?" 

In the cold and freezing winter that sweeps down on the busy street outside, the two boys relish with uncertainty of warmth coming from the restlessness of their hearts. Is it beating for the same reason? Or is it beating because of youth's impulsiveness, beating loudly for bliss of the moment? 

Jihoon scold the thoughts away and he take note of the time,  _I have to leave before Seongwoo-hyung gets home!_

He checks his clothes on the washer that has long been ready to dry but has been forgotten by the boys. He carries them into the dryer and sees the timer for an hour wait until it completely dries,  _Then I can go home._

In the living room, he lays down on the couch Daniel had occupied earlier. From there, he could hear the sound of the dryer machine turning and the songs playing in the radio, slowly lulling the boy to his sleep. 

\----------------

The door lock blinks green and chimes a  _Ding Dong Deng_ before it is opened from the outside.

"I'm home~" Seongwoo whistles as he emerges with his padded jacket and heavy backpack. He removes his boots wet from the snow and hangs his jacket on the coat rack by the entrance.

A shiver runs down his spine as he puts on his indoor slippers and looks for his roommate whereabouts, "Brrrr, it's cold! Daniiieeel, you here?" 

Seongwoo sees a figure laying down on the couch enveloped in Daniel's blanket, "Ah! There you are you lazy ass!" 

He charges for the sleeping boy and jumps on his side trying to shake the boy awake, "How long have you been sleeping?!"

The body still listless with no sign of movement.

"Come on! Wake up!"

"Not yet... Just five more minutes..." A voice grumbles from under that isn't quite similar to Daniel's.

"Huh?" Seongwoo unwraps the blanket hiding the boy's face and sees his familiar dongsaeng, "Jihoon? What are you doing here?"

"Yes... yes... I'll shower later, mom."

Seongwoo laughs, "Aigoo, kid it's too late to shower."

Seongwoo reaches for the remote buried beside Jihoon and turns off the TV and the Wii the two have left open. "Seems like you guys had a fun day, eh?" Seongwoo continues to talk to Jihoon fully knowing he isn't conscious. "That's great, and here I was worried I did something terrible..."

He looks back at Jihoon peacefully sleeping and can't find the heart to wake up the cute sleepy boy so he tucks the blanket around him once again and softly whispers, "Goodnight and sweet dreams, my prince~"

After fixing the boy's pillow to level comfortably with his neck, he hears the boy murmur in his sleep, "Seongwoo-hyung..."

  "Hm?"  

Jihoon mumbles, "I like you... I like you alot."

Seongwoo takes a deep breath and sighs, he observes as the boy's face crinkles into a frown, his voice sounding hurt and pained, "I like you so much, Seongwoo-hyung."

He gently pats the sleeping boy's hand, "I know Jihoon-ah. Hyung knew for a long time."

"Hyung is really sorry for this morning, I didn't mean to hurt you," He leans down and kisses his forehead, still furrowing with sorrow, "If you keep being sad because of me, I won't know what to do...," he heavily scratches his head with frustration, "I really don't know what to do, so hyung has to pretend he doesn't know. Forgive hyung, ok?"

"Hyung is so mean. I hate mean guys," Jihoon exhales and he turns away from him to hug the pillow before he doze off further to sleep.

"Aigoo..." he lightly ruffles through the boy's hair with a pained smile, "Don't say that, hyung will get hurt." 

\-------------

_**BIIIIP! BIIIIP! BIIIIP!** _

"Woojin! Woojin, shut that fucking alarm off!!"

 _ **BIIIIP! BIIIIP! BIIIIP!**_  

Jihoon angrily sits up and yells from the top of his lungs, "I SAID TURN THAT FUCKING THING OFF!!!" 

"I... I'm sorry. I couldn't find the alarm..." Daniel's voice cracks evidently in fear as he's crouched and frozen in search for the missing alarm clock.

Seongwoo raises the silver metal contraption that's hiding under the towers of books and turns it off,   "Don't worry, I got it."

"Daniel-hyung? Seongwoo-hyung?"

"Mornin sunshine! It's so nice to hear your booming voice and beautiful cursing so early in the morning," Seongwoo's own sarcasm is very well alive early in the day.

Jihoon recoils back under the blanket, and forcibly closes his eyes shut in hopes this is all just a terrible nightmare,  _Yup, just a nightmare. Come on, let's go back to sleep. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, 5 sheep...._

Yet Seongwoo won't have anymore of his lazing around. He propels himself on the arm of the couch directly above Jihoon to nag him awake, "Come on, Jihoon-ah! How long will you sleep for?" 

_That's not Seongwoo-hyung's voice. This is not Seongwoo-hyung's room. This is just a horrible horrible nightmare! When I open my eyes, I'll be in my own room!_

Jihoon opens his eyes to Seongwoo's face only inches away from his. He's so close Jihoon can clearly see the three moles forming a triangle on his cheeks and he could smell his fresh shaving cream emanating and waking all his five senses. The small boy feels a punch on his chest, blasting all air out of his lungs and tightly suffocating him by the neck.

With a grin Seongwoo asks, "Let's eat breakfast, shall we?"

With the meager strength Jihoon has, he yelps, "Ok..." and attempts to hide further into the comfort of Daniel's blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OTL it took so long i'm sorry T.T
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you guys gudluck with ur exams, papers, work, and w/e stress u have in life right now <3


	7. The SUBZERO Puppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon's heart is wavering to Daniel's heart which is cowering.

The kitchen of room 304 is quite busy early on a Thursday morning, with Seongwoo cooking his new batch of poison, or what he likes to pass off as "soup", Daniel a baby bird sat on the table waiting for food and munching on a pre-breakfast of jellies at the moment, and a small Jihoon sitting beside him overworking the gears of his brain first thing in the morning.

_I should have went home! Oh my god, why am I even sitting here?!_

He looks up and sees Seongwoo's back side currently humming while cooking. _Crap! This... is so domestic!_

He clutches and profusely taps the phone on his palm under the table, and gets the urge to take a quick snap of his hyung wearing an apron. He peers at Daniel to his left and ponders,  _I wanna take a picture but Daniel-hyung will make fun of me..._

 _What the fuck?!_  An aroma coming from Seongwoo's dish diffuses into the room. Jihoon's nose flares as his stomach gags from within,  _What's this smell?! Ugh! Yuck! Yuck! YUCK! This is worst than yesterday's leftovers! Is this even considered food?! I might die-_

"Jihoon," Daniel quietly begs beside him, unable to further tolerate the other's nonstop thinking with his own empty stomach in the verge of collapsing, "You're thinking too hard, you're giving me a headache."

The small boy stops convulsing, his body is without motion but Daniel could feel his blood boiling in ups and downs of his words,  _Well if you had the time to fold my clothes from the dryer and get me a freaking blanket last night, why couldn't you have just woken me up and let me go home! I don't understand why I have to eat breakfast here of all places! With Seongwoo-hyung of all people! This is-_

"Aaaah! So noisy..." Daniel stands up and heads to the kitchen cabinet, rips a piece of aluminum foil and shapes it into a hat, adding a point on the top to mimic an antennae. He wears it as and takes his seat beside Jihoon, unaware he was even gone for a minute.

 _-shouldn't have listened to you! What if I was snoring? Oh my god! Was I snoring?!_ Jihoon turns to Daniel waiting for his reply but is instead left speechless by the piece of aluminum foil wrapped around Daniel's head.

He answers Jihoon's unasked question, "It's to block your thoughts running at 100km/h. You could say, it's for my own safety." 

Jihoon sneers at his silly attempt, "Where'd you even hear about something so dumb."

"In this alien documentary I saw in highschool. They say you can use aluminum to prevent aliens from getting into your brain. I thought it could work in this case but no hope."

"Well, shouldn't I be the one wearing it to prevent you from getting to my brain?"

"Hm, that might just work! Here." He turns his whole body to face Jihoon and takes the silver bowl from his head and puts it on the other. He then leans his torso closer towards Jihoon to meet him at eye level.

Jihoon looks at the flimsy aluminum foil resting on his head like a bird nest and sneers, "You know what, nevermind. This is stupid." 

"Come on! No harm in trying. Now think. Let's see if it works." Daniel insists as he places his hand on the table beside Jihoon's arm, the two staring right at each other. Daniel wonders whether it's bad to take advantage of the boy's naiveness like this but he can't help and gravitate nearer toward's Jihoon's blazing eyes, a pair of burning galaxies intriguing to look at.

Jihoon send him a message,  _You're dumb for thinking this would actually work._

"Hm? What did you say?" Daniel pretends to not hear him and leans even closer, casually placing his  other hand on top of Jihoon's knee.

 _Wait you can't hear me? Is this stupid thing actually_ _working?_ Jihoon's eyes widen and tries again,  _Hello?_ _Kang Daniel-shi? Daniel! Daniel! Niel-goon!_

"What? Are you saying something?" Daniel smiles as he leans further, already at the edge of his seat, his long legs extend and encircles the other's chair, their noses inches apart from touching. He could feel his own heartbeat accelerating with every breath, but he refuses to back out like last time.

 _Holy_ _fuck..._ Jihoon takes notice of the hand on his knee and feels a sudden warmth starting to spread through his body,  _Wh- Why is he so close?!_

"Kids~ It's ready- YA!YAA! YAAA!YAAAA!" Seongwoo turns around and experiences a heart-attack as he sees the two, faces almost glued together, "It's too early in the morning for any type of flirting! Behave yourself! I can't believe this! Right in front of my soup! In my own room! YAA! Are you two listening?! No flirting in this household!"

"Flirting?! With him?! I- I wasn't flirting with him! Yuck! Bluergh!" Jihoon's face wrinkles with disgust and he pushes Daniel away back to his seat.

"AW!" Daniel pats the shoulder Jihoon has shoved and sulks, "Don't you think that's too much?! You suggested to try it in the beginning!"

"J-Jihoon?! T-t-try what?!!! Huh?!!" Seongwoo stutters, flabbergasted from what he just heard.

Jihoon clenches his fist into a ball and hisses at Daniel,  _Shut up hyung!_

The brokenhearted puppy turns away and whispers to himself as he picks up the silver hat that has fallen on the ground, "You looked like you were enjoying it...You could have simply moved your face in the beginning if you didn't like it... Gosh, in the end I'm the villain again. Hmph!"

"Are you sulking?!" 

"No!"

"You are sulking! Look at those eyebrows!" Jihoon points to Daniel's scrunched face, eyebrows twisting into a tight knot, "How old are you?!"

He puffs, "I'm just hungry! WHere's the food?!"

 

* * *

 

It's mid-December and first snow has blanketed the pavements, corners and every crannies of Dankook University. Even at 19, Jihoon anticipates the untouched white scenery, awaiting to be the first to leave his footprints on the glistening white ground. Giddily, he snaps on his winter boots and zips up his jacket all the way to his neck.

"Hep! Hep! Hep!" Seongwoo's alarming voice calls out to him from the kitchen startling the boy, "Are you going out with just that?!"

"Huh?" Jihoon sheepishly looks down at his attire and ponders, "I think I'm good..."

Seongwoo shakes his head in disapproval, "Aigoo, we can't let you out with just that. Hold on. Give me a second," Seongwoo takes off his dishwashing gloves and hangs his kitchen apron by the fridge door, "I'll go and get you something for that bare hands of yours."

"Wait! Hyung! I'm fine...," Jihoon's voice is drowned and unheard as Seongwoo's head is already buried, rummaging through his clothes drawer in search for a pair of winter gloves.

The washroom door creaks wide open and Daniel emerges with a toothbrush in his mouth, taking his sweet time preparing for school

"Daniel-hyung!" Jihoon cries out seeing Daniel still not ready, "We're going to be late! Hurry up!" 

Daniel takes a good look at Jihoon from head to toe, knitting his eyebrows from worry, "Jihoon," he attempts to talk with the toothbrush still in his mouth, his words not quite clear in addition to the toothpaste foam flying everywhere, "You can't go outside like that."

The young boy who has been mentally prepared for the winter cold is clueless as to why the two are making a big fuss over his clothes, "I'm totally fine! Seongwoo-hyung's already getting me a pair of-"

Before he could finish, Daniel disappears to his own room in a blink of an eye mumbling with his toothbrush,"I know I have another scarf here somewhere... "

Jihoon throws his short tiny hands up in the air and sighs with frustration,  _Why doesn't anyone listen to me?!!_

After some time, the two emerges from their respective rooms with a pair of black gloves, along with an extra hat Seongwoo has found, and a beige scarf Daniel has scavenged from the basement of his closet.

Jihoon takes a step back pressed on the door, intimidated by the two tall guys who has started to approach him one step at a time, determined to wrap the boy in fuzzy warmers. He tries to dissuade them, "I-It's not that cold outside, I don't think I'd be needing those-"

"HEP!" Ong Seongwoo clacks his tongue, "Your hand!"

In a heartbeat, Jihoon obediently puts out his hand and lets Seongwoo assist him in wearing the gloves. At the same time, Daniel circles the two of them clumsily wrapping Jihoon's neck with his beige scarf in the narrow space of the door entrance.

After the two boys finish their motherly job they exclaim, "All done!" and surveys their masterpiece, their dongsaeng Jihoon fully covered, only his pair of eyes showing through the scarf.

"Th-thank you...?" he muffles from under, beads of sweat already forming on his forehead.

"Nope, wait," Daniel's hands reaches pass Jihoon's face and grabs hold of his hood, trying to pull it up over the boy's head.

"Hyung, I don't think that's necessary...Ouch!"Jihoon walks back trying to move away from Daniel's own face armed with a dangerous toothbrush poking and slapping the poor boy's cheeks but Daniel is too determined to let go.

"Wait, just give me a sec...ugh," more toothpaste flies towards Jihoon as Daniel struggles to cover both the hat and the scarf with the jacket's hood.

Seongwoo quietly observes the two with a smile,  _Maybe a bit of flirting is okay..._

"There we go! You're ready!" Daniel beams.

"Thanks...I guess," Jihoon wipes the residue of Daniel's spit that has heavily rained on his face and pleads, "Can we go now? Please?"

"I'll be quick!" Daniel waddles to the washroom and finishes gargling. He rushes to his room to grab his jacket and to get his backpack.

Daniel motions to the door, "Ok, let's go!"

Jihoon doesn't move, his eyes dilates from Seongwoo to Daniel, waiting for him to nag the other at any moment.

Seongwoo misunderstands and winks at Jihoon instead.

"Wh-I- no hyung! I'm asking how come he can go out like that?!" Jihoon's hand frustratingly extends to the giant puppy wearing a pathetic excuse for a winter jacket.

"Oh, well that guy is immune to the cold. He's basically a yeti."

"My middle name is SUBZERO," Daniel poses, boasting off his biceps and back muscles outlined even beneath his jacket.

"Pfft," Jihoon scoffs at him,  _It should be PSYCHO instead!_

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that," he whispers into Jihoon's ears before he twists the doorknob open.

"Hey! Too much flirting!"

"It's not me!!!" Jihoon hits Daniel's backpack feelings wronged for Daniel's antics.

SUBZERO quietly tiptoes and sneaks away with a grin on his face.

 

* * *

 

**Crunch. Crunch.**

A smile glides up on Jihoon's face as he hears the crunching of the snow under his boots.

"Do you like snow that much?" Daniel eyes disappears as he laughs at Jihoon's two rosy cheeks bubbling out from overflowing happiness.

"I loooove winter!" Jihoon resounds, "You get to wear sweaters, layer as much clothes as you want, so I can gain a few pounds and no one will know! It's also cold so people minds their own business  while walking, it's mostly cloudy which I like, and best of all, we get snow for- AW! What the fuck?!" A snowball the size of a human head comes hurling and collided with Jihoon's back forcefully pushing the boy forward. He turns around to see where it came from and he spots a black hooded figure surrounded with a dark aura filled with the intent to murder.

"That's my goddamn line!" The black clothed boy yells as he stomps his way towards the two, "What. The. Actual. Fuck?"

"Oh Woojin! It's just you! You gave me a scare! "

"Don't 'Oh Woojin' me! I've been trying to reach you since yesterday! No calls, no message, NOTHING! How worried did you think I was?! Here I was thinking that maybe you got rejected and jumped at the Han River! But I knew you weren't that stupid so I was going nuts trying to look for you yesterday!" Woojin gives him another hit on the head.

"Ouch...I'm sorry. Calm down, I'm fine. I just... I needed a break yesterday." 

"And where did you sleep? You're still wearing the same clothes! What the fuck happened to you?!"

"I'll tell you later. Just relax, ok? I'm sorry." Jihoon flashes his sad puppy eyes to calm the other down.

"You better be," Woojin finally takes a breather. After exhaling with frustration his sharp eyes snaps at Daniel, "And who's this giant fella?"

The giant fella who had been very quiet, flinches from the sudden attention, "H-hi I'm Daniel, Jihoon's um... friend."

He bows and politely gives his hand for a handshake but is left hanging by Woojin who's expression hardened at the mention of the name, "Daniel? You mean that creepy annoying stalker that's been bothering you?"

"Uhm, well yeah," Jihoon scratches his head looking for a way to clear the situation. He couldn't have Woojin start a fight in publicagain, "b-but it was a misunderstanding in the beginning. We're totally fine now!"

"Hm, ok. If you say so, " yet Woojin's chilling deadly glare at Daniel says so otherwise. The older notices and responds to the kid with his bright white teeth smile. To which Woojin snarls under his breath.

He ignores Jihoon's supposedly new friend and addresses Jihoon only, "I'll be going now but I'll be busing home with you today."

"Why? I can bus home on my own." Woojin belongs to the Arts Department which is in a different campus an hour away from his own campus. That's why they both decided to get an apartment outside the school boundary that is halfway to each other's. "You'll only be wasting your time and bus fare, Woojin-ah. I'll just meet you at home, ok?"

But he wants to make sure Jihoon goes home this time. Just because his letting him off the hook at the moment doesn't mean he's not expecting a long-ass explanation about yesterday. He barks at him, "Just wait for me after school!"

"Okay, okay. Gosh," Jihoon rolls his eyes,  _You never listen to me but go nuts when I don't come home for a night. This cute bastard won't let me live._

Woojin gives Daniel another side-eye as he passes by him.

Daniel nudges Jihoon after he made sure Woojin is far enough, "Why do I have a feeling he hates me?"

"You mean Woojin? His eyes are normally sharp so he tends to look tough and mean, but he's really friendly."

"Is that so?" Daniel wonders whether he just got the wrong impression of the boy.

"Yeah, you guys are awfully similar. I think you guys might actually get along well."

Daniel turns to take another look at Jihoon's friend and sees the kid observing both of them with hawk eyes by the school gate. He menacingly gesture with his hands as he softly mouths for the other to see, "I'M-WATCHING-YOU."

 _Eep!_ Daniel flinches and abruptly turns back to face Jihoon and signals him, "I-I think we should go now!" Daniel speed-walks away, his long legs giving him already a huge gap away from Jihoon.

"Wait, Daniel-hyung! Wait for me!" Jihoon dashes forward, with his short legs slipping in the snow, trying to catch up to a run-away puppy.

* * *

-After school-

It's -10 degrees Celsius outside and Jisung is hopeful he would have no customers because no sane person would be out at this time. Right? And yet here he is, witnessing an ice cream fest of two held unexpectedly at his local convenience store. Jihoon is unwrapping his fourth ice cream cone and Jisung is done just watching the boy gobble them up like a magician's disappearing act.

"YA! How many ice cream are you going to eat?!" He adores the boy, from the bottom of his heart, but his mom would cut his throat open if she finds out her store is becoming Jihoon's personal fridge.

With ice cream melting in his mouth and dripping down his chin, he cries, "Just let me be hyung! Just deduct it from my pay!"

 Jisung fully knew the timid boy's long time unrequited love. Worried, he turns to Woojin and asks, "Aigoo, he got rejected badly, eh?" 

Woojin slides the fridge open and reaches inside for a rainbow popsicle. He replies with a flat expression as he unwraps it, "Didn't even stand a chance. The guy got a girlfriend before he can confess."

"Ok," Jisung lifted an eyebrow at the rainbow popsicle stick, "I understand why he's drowning his suffering with food but why are you eating ice cream too?"

"For support, of course," he raises his fist with great passion, but the same flat expression is on his face that exposes his not so passionate intentions, "If my friend is eating his sorrow away, I will join him in the fight."

"Sure..." Jisung could see right through the boy.

"Woo-woojin," Jihoon words are cut off by his sobs, "You-you're always there for me. You're all I have in this cruel world!"

Woojin pats his friend hunched on the floor beside the ice cream fridge surrounded by empty wrappers and bare popsicle sticks, "Of course, this is what friends are for."

He turns to Jisung and quietly informs him, "Just deduct this from his pay too."

Jisung's vein pops and he explodes, "These kids... It's not like you're earning millions. If you're going to eat here, eat the expired ones at least! Aigoo! You're going to get us bankrupt soon!"

"My heart has been bankrupt long time ago..." Jihoon's voice is meek, pained, and full of unneeded drama that Jisung couldn't believe is coming from a 19 years old.

"I just uh!" Jisung clenches his fist, his tone now higher than his already high-toned voice, and the two braces themselves for the stream of lecture about to come, "ought to hit that head of yours so you can wake up! So what if your crush is taken? Is it the end of the world?! There's lots of fish in the sea! I'm sure with that face of yours, you got to have at least one admirer. Open your eyes and look at a new direction, open your heart wider, you never know maybe that person is closer to you than you think."

He looks up and coincidentally locks eyes with Woojin who playfully gives him a wink, with both eyes closed, and a greasy flying kiss.

Jihoon's eyes flood with tears as he wails even much louder with a fifth ice cream in his hand already halfway finished.

 

* * *

 

-The same time in a not so similar place-

  
In a dark dormitory room, a screen illuminates the face of a tall figure reading a very very VERY important document, "Step one, always call him by his name... I'm already doing that. Step two, call and message him daily. Already doing that, but I think I might be overdoing it."

He scrolls down the website,"Step three, bribe him with food. Done that too in several occasions. Let's see, step four, befriend his friends, that's in progress. And step five, be around him all the time. Proximity is one of the key to attraction?" 

He sighs, "This one is hard... Jihoon-hyung's always avoiding me."

Guanlin closes the tab titled 'How to Make Your Crush Notice You' and crashes unto his bed.   
"I didn't see him at all at school yesterday... I couldn't even approach him because Woojin-hyung was guarding him today... Ugh I miss Jihoon-hyung... What do I do?!" He cries out into the pillow.

 

* * *

 

 _Curtis Lecture Hall... A... B..._ Jihoon checks the timetable Guanlin had sent him pertaining his classes and his lecture halls in the beginning of the semester.  _Maybe at the end of that hallway?_  He zooms passed by the wrong classrooms and checked the timetable again,  _Where in the world is lecture hall D?!_

 _Oh!_ Jihoon sees the faded letter D beside a doorway. He tiptoes as he peek through the tiny glass window trying to catch a glimpse of the person he was haunting down. He scans the front rows, the second row, and finally spots the giant puppy, surrounded with his friends, flashing his smile all around.

_Pffft, what a show off._

"Jihoon?" Daniel eagles on Jihoon the second he hears the familiar voice in the air.

"Jihoon-hyung?!" Guanlin too stands up from his seat after hearing the name of his favorite hyung, "Where?!"

The wanted boy gives both of them a shy wave and they happily rush towards him.

A gummy smile turns up in Guanlin's face,"Hyung, what are-"

"What are you doing here?" Daniel unknowingly cuts him off. He's practically singing his words, too happy to see the boy early in the morning.

Jihoon gives Guanlin a smile of acknowledgement before he reaches in his bag and hands Daniel a calculator, "You left this when we were studying the other day."

 _He's here for Daniel-hyung?_ Guanlin is disappointed,  _Not for me?_

"Oh, nice save! We have a test today. Hehehe."

Jihoon is baffled how he could laugh that off, "If I hadn't dropped by, what would you have done? This is not a laughing matter hyung."

"That's why you're my sunbae~ Thank you, Jihoon-sunbae~"

Guanlin feels a twist of resentment in his chest.  _How come Daniel is spending more time with Jihoon when I had known him longer?_  He huffs,  _He was my sunbae first!_

The two, oblivious to the mess of emotions they're creating for the youngest, continues their conversation. Jihoon gives him a dirty look as he relays a message to Daniel,  _Don't make me regret coming here._

"Why do you always think I'm teasing you? I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart," Daniel playfully hits Jihoon's chest.

Guanlin's eyes darts from Daniel to Jihoon,  _When did they get so close? Jihoon-hyung hates being touched!_ It took Guanlin months before Jihoon stopped brushing his hands away everytime he initiates a skinship.

"Well you make it so easy to hate you. I saw your messages too. Is Seongwoo-hyung also coming... or?"

"He says he'll just stay and sleep in his lab since he'll be working overtime anyway."

"I see," Jihoon lowers his head and stares at the floor.

Daniel brushes Jihoon's bangs to the side to see the other's face, "Are you disappointed?"

Jihoon turns his head, moving away from Daniel's hand, "No, I'm glad. It would be awkward if he stays over too."

 _There we go,_ Guanlin smirks at Daniel's skinship being rejected, _That's how things should be._ But he freezes as the words Jihoon had said finally registers.  _Wait, what?!_

Guanlin could no longer stay silent, "Who's staying over with who?!"

"Our heater broke so I'll be staying over at Jihoon's place at the moment."

He panics and an image of the two cuddling in bed pops up into the boy's not so innocent mind.

"Hyung can stay over at my place instead!" He blurts out too eagerly.

"Huh?" Both of them chorus at the maknae.

"Oh yeah," Jihoon recalls, "you have a bachelor's room. It's less cramped in there Daniel-hyung."

"Hm?" Daniel fakes a smile, his opportunity to stay with Jihoon being threatened by the other, "No no, I'm fine Guanlin. Thanks for offering."

"No, hyung it's fine. Just stay in my place tonight." Guanlin takes Daniel's hand politely, as he displays his own forced smile.

Guanlin is persistent and Daniel fully knows why the kid was getting in his way. _Kid, do you know how hard it was to convince Jihoon?_ Daniel slowly breaks free from his grip and fights back, of course never forgetting to smile it off, "Jihoon and I already agreed, I'm staying over at their place. Thank you Guanlin, but no thank you." He says the last bits in English to make it clearer for the international student.

"But hyung, my place is closer and it's much bigger!" He gestures with his hands.

"I'm actually used to being in cramped places. Hahaha... I'm actualy allergic to luxurious things." He could careless if he made sense, but all's fair in love and war, right? 

"So," Jihoon interjects between the two, "While you guys decide, I'm gonna go and grab lunch. Let me know what happens."

He whistles as he walks away from the two,  _Talking is so tiring, I need to reward myself. Should I eat half fried chicken? Or should I eat a whole fried chicken? Wohoho~_ He drools just thinking about it dancing from his plate and unto his mouth.

From behind, he hears Guanlin calling out to him, "Wait, Jihoon-hyung! My messages!"

 _Ah darn it._ Jihoon knows what's about to happen and yet, like his unwritten replies, he's left with zero word count.

"Jihoon-hyung, my messages..." Guanlin bends to catch his breath when he reaches Jihoon, "Did you see them too?"

"I- I uhm..." he's stiffed, "My phone is-"

"You read Daniel-hyung's messages, what about mine hyung? You're not being fair. Is this favoritism?"

"No, Guanlin, it's not that." Jihoon asks himself,  _That's not it, right?_

"Then why, hyung?" Guanlin wants to know why Daniel is getting special treatment, "Do you hate me? Am I annoying?"

Jihoon's heart breaks as he feels for the other's frustration, "Why do you think that way?"

"Because I feel like I'm just bothering you every time," Guanlin's voice is filled with anguished and Jihoon finds himself responsible once again for the other's sadness.

 _How come I never learn?_ He tries to explain himself, "I saw your messages earlier, I just.. I don't know how to reply.You know me-"

"A simple yes or no would suffice. I'm not really asking for much." He mumbles the rest of the sentence with the desire to say it but not enough courage to let it be heard.

"I'm really sorry."

"Th-that won't do." Guanlin stammers. He had let Jihoon's excuses pass many times afraid to push the boy too far. It's not that Jihoon is too busy to meet him, he knows his hyung is just avoiding spending time with him. He knows that Jihoon's phone was never broken either, and yet he's too much of a coward to confront him. But there is an urgency he feels pressuring him to take actions. And this urgency is none other than a tall guy with a mole under his eye who's gradually taking Jihoon further away from him.

"I w-won't let it pass this time. You owe me hyung!"

"Owe you?"

"I'm really upset," Guanlin crosses his arms, "You should do something for me."

"What do you want?"

Guanlin purses his lips,  _There's no going back now._ If this is the chance the gods in heaven has given him, he's willing to take it. He clears his throat, "Jihoon-hyung, please go on a date with me."

"...." Jihoon's head couldn't quite grasp it just yet so he gives himself a minute to process but it was useless.  _Did I hear it right?_ Jihoon's mouth opens, he's eyes furrow in confusion, "I'm sorry...What?"

"You owe me so you can't say no!" He holds Jihoon by the shoulder, "The test is starting but I'll message you the details later! Take care!" Guanlin runs away before Jihoon has the time reject him.

 

* * *

 

-Back at 2park's humble apartment-

 

"Why is he here?" Woojin points the knife at Daniel who have won the debate against Guanlin,  standing strongly and  insisting in his very serious case of 'luxury allergy'.

"Their dorm heater is broken. He's staying for the night or two until its fixed."

He now points the knife at Jihoon, "And how come you didn't ask me about this?" 

"Why? Is there a problem?"

"That depends," he motions to Daniel to come forward, "Do you know how to cut vegetables?"

 _Eep!_ Daniel flinches. He searches for the word to describe Woojin's impression, charismatic was close but it doesn't encompass the frightening side of him.

"What are you waiting for?" Woojin beckons him again, "Here chop the rest of the onions for me, I feel my eyes peeling off from them." Woojin hands him the knife and walks away to check the pot cooking in the stove.

"Aigoo, my husband is working so hard," Jihoon playfully back hugs Woojin who simply lets the other cling to him.

Daniel gawks at them with a confused look, feeling out of place and invisible from the situation.

He sees Woojin giving him a side glance. When their eyes meet, Woojin smirks at him and says, "Of course, I have to make sure our Jihoon-ah is fed well. Cup of noodles for the whole day? You must be kidding me. "

Woojin's words hits Daniel like bullets, and he regrets not being able to cook for Jihoon when he had the chance to. He bows slightly as his way of apologizing but Woojin only scoffs and proceeds cooking.

 _No matter how you look at it, I am not wanted here,_ he quietly chops the onions as tears starts to well up in his eyes.  _His bestfriend already hates me!_

"Do you think it's his first time chopping onions? Why is he crying so much?" Jihoon whispers unto Woojin's ears.

With a straight face, his sharp eyes only in the dish his making, he answers, "He's learning the consequences of love."

"What do you mean?"

"Oblivious people like you will never understand."

"You're speaking gibberish again," Jihoon twists his knuckle into his Woojin's head, "You guys will really fit well together. You're both insane."

 

 -----

 

"Are you wearing cologne?" Daniel sniffs at the air one more time and gets a whiff of a sweet scent coming off from Jihoon.

"Yeah, is it too strong?" 

"You're in the house why are you wearing cologne?" Daniel gives him a playful seductive look raising the can of pop he's drinking, "Is it cause I'm here?"

"Pfft, don't delude yourself. I'm going on a date."

"With who?!" Daniel's voice explodes throughout the room.

Jihoon doesn't know why he feels like he had just done something wrong. He hesitantly admits, "It's Guanlin."

"What?!"

"It's not what you think, so don't get any wrong idea! He asked me because I owe him," he explains wanting to make sure the situation is clear to Daniel.

However, the other finds the situation beyond logical reasoning, "Ya! D-do you just go on a date t-to anyone who asks you?! S-so if I ask you on a date," Daniel pauses.

Jihoon finds himself waiting for him, anticipating the question about to be asked.

 Daniel repeats, clenching his fist, "If I ask you on a date..." but his heart is lacking the courage to continue. Jihoon glances at Daniel who's staring on the floor, his broad shoulders that usually stands tall slouches in defeat.

"I- I have to go hyung. Stop drinking that, you're getting sick," Jihoon takes the can of pop away and laughs away the awkwardness that has filled the room, "Look at you shivering. Can't even talk straight."

"Can't you just stay here?" His voice dispirited.

"It's too late," Jihoon rubs his arms out of habit, feeling conflicted, "knowing him, he's probably already waiting there."

Daniel tries again, "It's freezing out there, not really the ideal weather for a date, you know."

"It's fine, we're just going to the mall to watch a movie."

"Is that so?" Daniel gives up and forces a smile, "Have fun, okay?"

Jihoon returns the same forced smile.

"Woojin, I'm going!" He yells to reach the boy who has cooped himself in his bedroom. He jokes trying to brighten the mood, "Take care of Daniel-hyung! He's a real klutz! Very dangerous by himself! Don't let him break anything!" 

Daniel stays solemn and Jihoon forces a chuckle unable to leave him at his current state. He teases him, "Aigoo, what's up with this sad puppy? Someone stole your food?" he lovingly ruffles his hair, "Jihoon-ie we'll be back soon, ok? Don't miss me too much."

The door closes and Daniel lowers his head to hide his blushing face, "That's impossible. "

 

* * *

 

 

Love at first sight. That was how Guanlin felt the first time he saw Jihoon walking around the campus. He could barely speak Korean then, but Jihoon was very patient with him when he asked him directions to get to class in the beginning of his first year in Korea. Sure Jihoon tried to speedwalk away from him as fast as he could when he tried to approach him during the first day of class, but once Jihoon realized Guanlin was having a hard time communicating, he stopped right away to lend a hand. From that point on, he stuck with him, well at least tried to with the excuse of getting help with his Korean even though he had a private tutor outside of school. He didn't want to let go of Jihoon even if that means always being the one to make the effort because to Guanlin, his hyung was worth it. Jihoon's kindness was sincere, it wasn't because he was that new student everyone wants to befriend or that Guanlin's family was rumored rich. Jihoon talked to him genuinely and wanted to help him when others were ok with leaving him with a simple hi how you doing conversation.

 _Jihoon-hyung hates small talk the most,_ he giggles as he fetches the gift he has prepared.

Who would have thought he would actually be able to go on a date with the person that he adores. He feels butterflies flying in his stomach and giddiness in his feet.

"Did you wait long?" He hears the familiar voice of his hyung.

"Jihoon-hyung! You showed up!"

"O-of course. What do you take me for?"

"Sorry hyung, I'm just really happy! Uhm here," He shyly hands him his present.

"Whats this?" Jihoon examines the small slick box handed to him.

"It's nothing extravagant but I thought you could wear it for today."

"A bracelet?"

Guanlin peeks at Jihoon, nervous at his reaction, "Do you like it, hyung?"

Jihoon's eyes glisten along with the shiny rose gold metal and he marvels,  "It's really pretty..."

"It reminded me of you. Here, I'll help you wear it." He takes the ends of the bracelet and clips it together, hand's shaking. Jihoon decides to not comment on it, aware of how nervous the other might be.

"Oh?" He sees Guanlin wearing the same rose gold bracelet," You're wearing it too?"

"Ah, this? Uhm.... It was a promotional buy one get one!"

"Really? It looks like a couple brace-"

"Hy-hyung! Uhm the movie! We're going to be late!"

He takes Jihoon's hand and turns around to lead the way, that and to hide his embarrassed face as well. Jihoon might be bad at lying but Guanlin is worse. The truth is he wanted to wear a couple item with Jihoon but he knows it would be weird to do so when the two isn't, well, a couple.

 _Just for today,_ he reasons.

Amidst the crowd they find their own path squeezing through shoulders and chit-chatters. Guanlin notices all the couples surrounding them, smiling sweetly to each other, love reflecting through their eyes. He feels the warm tiny hands within his grasp and smiles shyly on the ground.

_I'm holding Jihoon-hyung's hand. What to do?!_

Jihoon too is looking at the ground, cursing Friday nights instead,  _Why is it so crowded?!_

He suddenly feels the grip around his hand tightened. He looks up to Guanlin's reliable back, guiding both of them. His heart flutters, the corner of his mouth moves upward into a closed-lip smile,  _You're growing up so fast, Guanlin_ _._

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel stands by the lamp post beside the set of stairs leading up to Jihoon and Woojin's neighbourhood. He zips his jacket all the way to his neck as he feels the cold creeping up on him. He checks his watch and whines,  _It's already 12:20, where is he?_  

_I'm soooo frigging tired!!!! How can people spend hours in the mall without getting a headache??!!!_

Taking note of  the constant whining and blatant negativity, Daniel confirms, _That should be him!_ He hides behind the lamp post and waits for the write timing. 

_They should have escalators made in sidewalks-_

" **BOO!** " Daniel jumps out right in front of the other.

"WOA!" Jihoon's arm swings before he could even think and he lands a strong one right on Daniel's left cheek. The older boy trips on his own feet while falling and his head collides with the cemented lamp post.

"Hyuuung! Oh my god, are you ok?!"

Daniel, unable to move his jaw at the moment gives him an OK hand sign.

"What were you doing hiding there?! Let me see!"

He grabs Daniel's face and shrieks.

"Do nat wowry, am phine!" Daniel smiles with his eyes at Jihoon as blood runs down his nose.

\------

The wind at night is colder without the presence of the warm and bright sun. He, himself would have shone if he only had the choice, he wouldn't miss the chance to see a star-crossed lovers story unfolding. But he knew his wife, the moon, is much more fitted for setting the mood for a romantic night. With thousands of histories of couples who have walked down what you'd presume as an ordinary sidewalk, you'd think that the stars would have been fed up eavesdropping at the sweet bickering of others. And yet, tonight, even the trees decides to rock gentler, the lamp posts decides to shine brighter, and the cold wind dances much calmer, to listen to the two boys as they walk home side by side.

"How long did you wait there?"  

"Not that long," Daniel plays with the tissue rolled up in his nose to prevent the blood from running down.

 _Liar._ Jihoon takes notice of Daniel's flushed face, red from the cold.

"I'm not lying! This is SUBZERO we're talking about," Daniel strikes his pose, attempting to reassure the other's worry.

Jihoon wouldn't take the bait. He stops in front of Daniel and insists, "Give me your hand."

Daniel hesitates, the other grabs them instead and he's shock at how icy cold his skin is. 

"See hyung?! Your hands are freezing!" Jihoon's furious and he places both hands back into Daniel's pockets, " Why'd you even wait for me?!"

His reply comes out hoarse and lifeless, "You weren't replying to my messages..."

"I turned it off because you kept messaging me during the movie!" 

With hands in his jean's pockets, Daniel casually kicks a pebble sitting in the middle of the street, "Well, how was the movie?" 

The pebble flies a few steps forward, when they get to where it landed, Jihoon mimics Daniel and kicks it forward too as he replies, "It was fine."

The two takes turns keeping the tiny pebble moving in its unexpected adventure.

"You had fun?"

"Kind of."

"Hm, any interesting episode?"

"Not really."

Daniel prepares to kick the pebble once again, he times himself, but ends up sneezing and blowing the tissue in his nose unto the ground.

"You should have dressed warmer, hyung!"

Daniel sniffs and wipes his snot with his sleeves, "Stop worrying about me, I'm fine."

 _You won't listen won't you?_ Instead of continuing an endless argument, Jihoon removes his own scarf and motions for him to bend down. Daniel follows and bows forward closer to Jihoon. Even with the other bent, Jihoon still has to tiptoe to carefully wrap the scarf around the back of his neck. 

"Aigoo, we can't have SUBZERO getting sick, can we? Just imagine how ironic that will be." Daniel feels Jihoon's warm breath blowing on his ear waking up the senses that's been numbed by the cold.

"Say,"

Jihoon laughs when he hears Daniel back at it again. He steps back and brings his face back into Daniel's view, "You've got more question, hyung?"

It was the last question, Daniel thought. Because he possibly won't have the guts to ask any more after this. With Jihoon's eyes twinkling as bright as the stars out tonight, he asks, "When you were with Guanlin, did you think of me?"

"I did," Jihoon quickly nods and admits. He replied faster and much more confident than Daniel had expected. He continues  where he left off, "I was thinking how hungry you must have been, you sad puppy." He playfully pats Daniel's cold cheeks and starts walking once again, trying to play it off cool before his rapidly increasing heartbeat  could get the better of him. From behind, he hears Daniel quietly murmurs, "Of course..."

He steals a glance and sees his hyung's solemn face, eyes lost and lips pouting once again. Jihoon sighs, tired of the conflicted emotions welling up in his chest,  _Really, hyung, what did you expect me to say?_

Daniel hears the question unconsciously thrown at the empty air by the other. He wishes he was brave enough to look him in the eye and reply,  _That you missed me too._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Seongwoo-hyung, Woojin, and Guanlin," Daniel counts three on his fingers and flops in the soft futon laid out on the floor.

 _How many more people will I share you with?_ Daniel knows its an excuse, he reasons that he doesn't want to pressure Jihoon, that he wants Jihoon to be comfortable around him. But he also acknowledges his weak heart that's too scared to take a step forward closer.  _At least Guanlin is brave enough, look at my pathetic self, can't even ask him on a single date, let alone let him know how I actually feel._ He wonders how many lies he had said ever since he met Jihoon. How many smiles he had to force and words he had to eat and leave unheard. His worries comes and goes and lulls his tired body to sleep.

"Jihoon, me too," he mumbles before he close his eyes to sleep, "notice my heart too."

\-----

The door to the fridge opens in an ungodly hour pass midnight. Jihoon scratches his tummy while gulping down a bottle of water. On his way back to his bedroom, he hears rustling in the living room and his half-asleep consciousness remembers Daniel is sleeping over. He continues to heads to his room and after sometime appears hugging his own blanket. He unfolds it on top of Daniel who's shivering in his sleep.

"Immune to cold my ass," he rub his eyes awake and observes the older boy's scrunched sleeping face.

"Even in your sleep you're sulking," Jihoon kneels down and massages the fold of Daniel's eyebrow, relaxing the muscles knotted on his temple.

"You've been frowning these past few days. What's up with you? Where's that stupid smile of yours hyung? You're making me worry."

"You might as well confess to him at this point," Woojin is standing behind him, his face twisted and still wrinkled from sleep. 

"Woojin! I told you to stop doing that! Make some noise if you're close by!"

"Defensive much? Guilty for sexually assualting a sleeping person?"

"Hell no, it's not what you're thinking! I-I was just giving his head-"

"Okay, no need to explain. I don't judge. Like they say, don't shame them kinks. I'll pretend I didn't see anything."

"Kinks? Woojin! I wasn't doing anything! Hope to die and cross my heart!"

"Yes, you weren't. The memory has been erased. Don't worry, it will be our little secret," Woojin gives him another one of his double-eyed wink and a bonus display of his snaggletooth  smile before he headed back to bed.

After he's left alone, he diverts his attention back at the sleeping Daniel and witnesses the corner of his mouth curves into a smile.

"Oh, so now you're smiling? Finding this funny, eh?"

Jihoon intentionally drops a pillow on his face. Daniel only stirs in the futon, unraveling the blanket Jihoon had meticulously wrapped around him, and takes a hold of the fallen pillow bringing it into an embrace.

Jihoon sighs heavily as he fixes the blanket that has folded over, once again tucking it gently all around him, "You're such a high demand puppy to have, you know." He was for sure, and Jihoon could simply ignore him like he did in the beginning. He could, but he feels an attachment to the other. How strong it is? He has yet to explore. When did it form? He's also unsure. But what's certain is that Daniel is no longer a stranger. And that means a lot to Jihoon who's walls he has built have prevented others from getting too close. A very picky person that holds labels in a very high standard. For him, you can't just call everyone you know a friend. He only considers 4 people to be his true friends, that's Woojin, Seongwoo, Jisung, and Guanlin.  _But now, there's also Daniel-hyung_ , he smiles joyful to let Daniel into the tiny world that he treads by. Daniel's presence is growing bigger, an endearment overflows whenever he's around him that he often wants to hide and cover up. 

He freezes and Jisung's advice echoes in his mind, "Open my heart and look at a new direction, huh?" But Jihoon prefers familiar things. He gets anxious whenever things around him unexpectedly changes.  _I like Seongwoo-hyung,_ he reminds himself. That's the truth that Jihoon knows and believes. But something in his heart doesn't click into position at the words he had uttered. Something feels off. He reassures his panicking heart once more,  _Seongwoo-hyung is the person I like._

Guanlin's question floats by in this quiet hour, bugging Jihoon too much to fall asleep. He insists, "I don't have favoritism towards you, ok? Don't misunderstand." He sits crossed-legged beside the futon and caresses Daniel's left cheek, still bruised from earlier. He stares at the other's sleeping face that he's been seeing more so lately and wonders when was the last time he felt this comfortable with another person other than Woojin. Along with ease comes the anxiety that Jihoon tries to run away from. He exhales to calm his mind, "You're too childish so I'm just taking care of you like Seongwoo-hyung told me to. I like Seongwoo-hyung, so stop confusing my heart, ok?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!~  
> I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who's been very supportive towards this story and myself. I never really thought that what I wrote is worth reading (i cringe at my writing skills pls forgive meh) so even just one person actually finishing it makes me overjoyed. Each comment you write never fails to make me smile no matter what I'm doing in my daily life. I will forever feel guilty for not uploading as often as I should OTL This story does have a main plot(i think) but at the same time, I think it is better read and viewed as a loose string of stories of their lives as a college student and their interactions with one another. So when will it finish, idk either but I do already have an ending in mind in case I do want to end it. Until then, I'd be happy to continue writing and creating this au.
> 
> Kudos to you for reading until this far <3 Have a wonderful day!


	8. Can I cross the line?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as polished as I want it to be but I'd rather have it out for you guys to read than keep it in the basement of my storage. Forgive any typos or errors in grammar, I don't have time to edit my life and this chapter >.<
> 
> A little fun fact, Jihoon and Jaehwan are both Geminis. Use that info as you may lol ok i'll shut up now. Have fun~

"A new love connection has great potential, especially because you're unwilling to settle for anything less than what you believe you want and deserve right now. A part of you is worried that the one you love may think you're too demanding, however, and you wonder how to build confidence with one another more quickly. Remind yourself that trust takes time and applying lessons learned in your love life's past can help you in your current path toward the future."

Jihoon gives an arrogant smirk of disbelief, "Bullshit." He shoots the stack of paper on the recycling bin and takes big and quickened strides along the Great Hall. An advice about his love life isn't what he was hoping to read when he grabbed the daily newspaper this morning and opened it to the only page he reads, the horoscope- and the strips of comics of course. But he doesn't have the time to read the latter right now, with a cluttered mind, he makes his way to meet his group of classmates to decide his death. Dramatic as usual, but that's how he feels at the moment. In the two years he had been in university he had always taken that extra mile to meticulously look through all the course syllabus of courses and professors and, with eagle eyes, hunt for the word 'presentation'. Once found, the tab is closed swiftly and the course will be written down in the list, 'Deadly Courses: Do Not Take. Ever'. It didn't matter if that took him longer than a normal student to enroll, or that he's basically avoiding an opportunity to reduce his fear by exposure as he had learned in his psychology class. He was fine with the lack of self-improvement standing strongly with the motto to ‘ _Love yourself’_ and ‘ _You don’t have to change who you are for others’._ Taking those words and manipulating their meanings to his own personal interest, he was successfully able to get by, until now that is.

 _Fucking required courses,_ he nibs on his lower lip, skin close to tearing and bleeding. He knew beforehand he was bound to run into courses he couldn’t escape but knowing never equates to being prepared. Worse is that the professor, having a PhD under his belt, is shoving them his ideology that “You, as undergraduates, should learn how to network and communicate with others. I understand some of you are a little shy, but this is the harsh truth of the real world”, adding not only a presentation, but a GROUP presentation for that matter.

 _Fucking prof think he’s funny,_ Jihoon digs his nails deeper into his clench fist, _you might as well just tell me to drop dead near a river where my corpse can be taken into the sea with a high chance that I might not even be fossilized properly for future generations to analyze my DNA sequence-_ Jihoon sees something black flash in his peripheral vision and-

Kim Jaehwan. Male. 22 years old. Single since birth. Your typical 3rd year student, almost graduating and yet still clueless as to what he's actually doing with his life. That last part isn’t accurate- he knows he’s wasting his life, but he’s sense of responsibility isn’t catching up to his age just yet. A music major belonging to the Arts Department, but you can bet he’s always lurking around the Health Department campus, and has been named ‘that lame guy with the guitar’ or ‘that guy with a creepy smile, why is he looking here?!’ among the health students. Although musically gifted and acquires an almost perfect pitch, he's body has evolved to be tone deaf to these types of comments- Yes, even scientists are left speechless.

“A new love connection has great potential, hm~” he giggles to himself. _Is this a sign?_ Maybe today is the day he can actually meet ‘the one’. Mind you, Jaehwan has always carried this hopeless belief **every single day** with hungry eyes always on the hunt, but no, today he feels something different in the air.

“Whatcha got there?” Minhyun, walking beside him, crooks his neck trying to see the page Jaehwan is reading, “Wow, do you actually believe in that crap?”

“You say crap, I say my destiny.”

“Uh-huh, so same thing?"

Jaehwan puts on his poker face disguising his annoyance, he knows that words won't work on Hwang Minhyun. The only thing that might works requires his pinky up his nose. He turns to show him digging quite enthusiastically and indiscreetly as possible.

“Don't you dare,” Minhyun defensively starts to speedwalk but that only motivated the other to inch closer with his pinky, now stained with snot, proudly up in the air.

“Jaehwan!” The other gives maniacal giggles, his eyeballs rolling back showing the whites of his eyes as he fully charge towards Minhyun. With a push and a shove, along with some useless kicking, Jaehwan falls off balance and, while trying to shift his weight to face the floor-he’d rather have a broken face than a broken guitar- he collides and accidentally catches someone into an embrace before hitting the ground.

Minhyun rushes towards his friend and the unfortunate soul squished under him. “Shit! I’m so sorry, are you ok?”

“I’m fine,”  Jaehwan answers as he evaluates the chain of events that had just occurred, “That didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.”

“Not you, stupid!” Minhyun directs his attention to the brown-haired head poking out of Jaehwan’s guitar case.

Jaehwan feels something stir under him, followed by a groan. Surprised, he lifts himself by his elbow and finally see the face of the person that cushioned his fall.

“Oh fuck…” he marvels at the face that unravels inches from him. Jaehwan thought only flower halos appear in movies but there seems to be an awful lot exuding from the cute stranger he had tackled down, along with the sound of the harp Cupid must have been playing for the two of them. He choruses, _Is this love what’s it like to fall in love at first sight?_

“Get uh…” the pursed pink lips moves.

“Huh?” Jaehwan leans his ears closer to the other’s lips.

Jihoon scoffs at the violation of his personal space and he hisses with great disgust at every syllable, “GET. THE. FUCK. OFF!!!”

But Jaehwan freezes and isn't moving. “Jaehwan!" Minhyun takes the initiative to  snapgrab his friend from his trance state and removes him from the boy.

“Fucking assholes!” Jihoon refuses to take the hand offered by Minhyun and he proceeds to lift himself up, leaving the two as fast as he could, “First, that stupid professor and now this! This is the worse day of my life!”

With mouth agape and eyes still glued to the rampaging boy down the hallway, Jaehwan confesses, "I... I think I'm in love."

Minhyun cuts in, "That's a guy-"

"The most beautiful guy I have met in my whole life. These pair of eyes does not deserve a glimpse of such an angel." He stares at him with passion and admiration, mouth ajar.

Jihoon grits his teeth as he dust off his jacket. His phone vibrates with a notification followed by the usual grunt, _Why  won't people just leave me alone?!_

He looks at the sender of the message and there's a quick change of heart in the matter, less tension on his forehead, and much more calmness spreading down his body.

 

> **Daniel-hyung** :
> 
> Same old today?
> 
>                                                             **You** :
> 
>                                                            Same old.

Jihoon exhales, _At least I get to meet you later_. The eighth floor of the old library that used to be Jihoon’s hiding spot is now they’re meeting place. In the same time and the same place, with feelings not quite the same as the start.

Another _ding!_ from his phone and he quickly takes a look at it. Instead of a reply from Daniel he sees a message from his groupmates asking for his whereabouts. His body reverts back to anxiety, tension and rushness imprinted on his face and in his walk. He tries to reassure himself. Last week’s meeting ran smoothly from what Jihoon remembered. He nodded most of the time.

When they asked, “Are you ok with doing this part?” Jihoon nodded.

When they asked, “Can you also research these topics too?” Jihoon nodded.

“And this one too? I have two papers due next week so I’m crunched with time.” Jihoon nodded once more, remembering he also has two papers plus a test next week- which is now this week he’s currently trying to survive.

He’s beat and exhausted from trying to stay afloat everything thrown at him at once, so when he reached today’s meeting place, nicely seated, and hears one of his group mate say,

“My laptop broke on me during the weekend and I wasn’t able to work on it.”

The veins of his right eye twitch, _what do you mean?! It’s due this week!_

“Can one of you help me on catching up? I’m really sorry…”

_Sorry doesn't cut it, you bastard!_

One of his groupmates puts on a sympathetic voice as he makes an excuse for himself, “Sadly, I can’t, I have lab this whole week.” It was easy to tell he isn't that sad about it.

_Broken laptop? What? Did you not know our libraries have computers?! If you weren't going to do your part, you should have said so in the beginning!_

He pauses as he sees two pairs of eyes, staring at  him expectantly.

He clenches his fist hidden under the table. He knows he’s being taken advantage of once again. It’s not the first time. This is why he hated working with others. In the end, everyone has selfish interests, they only care about themselves, he wonders why no one ever tried looking at his perspective. _I wonder if I look like a push-over._ He hates that feeling of contempt brewing inside him, that ugly side of his personality people often brings out from him. He hates it too, but it’s eating him up.

“So, Jihoon-”

“Ok,” he cuts him off, already aware where the question is leading.

“Really? Are you sure?”

 _You're making it seem like I have a choice,_ he nods to them.

“Sweet! Thanks a bunch!” They pack their bags ready to leave as they have gotten what they wanted from him.

“Aren’t we practicing for the presentation?”

“Well… We can all just practice individually. And don’t you have to work on his parts still?”

_Hell yeah because you wouldn’t help._

“I think we’ll be fine on Friday as long as we practice by ourselves!”

“Yeah, it will be fine! Just remember to send me the parts I have to cover for the presentation! Thanks again, Jihoon!”

“Hahaha… no problem," he flashes them a smile, _Assholes._

 

* * *

 

Jihoon is back to his fortress of books up in the eighth floor. He stares at the empty word document on his laptop. _Hello darkness my old friend._ The last of his energy had been sucked by the meeting and it's only Monday. He has yet to research for his group, write an exam, and then there's the presentation itself. He's head is overloading with so many to-do’s and worries, he can feel his own brain leaving his body and probably attempting to migrate to some other human less stressed out than he is which the boy thinks would be quite easy to find as his stress bar is currently maxed out.

_If I drop out now, I don't think it's too late to get a refund from school. That might just be enough to buy plane tickets to Madagascar or better yet, the Himalayas._

“Do you mind taking me with you then?" Daniel comes out from the staircase and makes his way to Jihoon’s table, looking exhausted from climbing eight floors, and yet Jihoon finds him as charming as usual, he’d never admit it of course. He’s thankful it’s not something conjured up in his mind for Daniel to know, but something he feels in his heart instead.

“Hi, hyung," Jihoon gives him a shy smile, disguising a heart that dances as the brain relays visual information of Daniel’s blonde hair, face, torso, legs, and all his features already ingrained in the folds of his brain to the ends of his nerves, each cell in his body exhales from relief like one would when they return home from a long day. To Jihoon, that’s what Daniel is slowly becoming. He feels like home- not quite like the apartment he comes home to filled with piles of dirty laundry and expired food that’s probably older than his fridge- It’s this idea of nostalgia and comfort. Daniel is a breath of fresh air, an escape, a place where he can rest.

Jihoon’s stands from his seat to welcome Daniel, and to his surprise, he’s greeted with an embrace. Daniel firmly tucking him on his chest, Jihoon’s petite figure perfectly fitting on his like two puzzle pieces.

“Hy-hyung, what are you doing?” He blurts out yet he doesn't move away, or doesn't _want_ to move away.

 _What am I doing?!_ Daniel too is taken aback by his actions. When he entered the room, he was almost fooled by Jihoon’s enthusiastic voice, yet he notices the shade of weariness and fatigue layered under his eyes, and how it drags on his smile. They pull on his heart strings, and next thing he knows,he’s enveloping Jihoon into a hug. It feels right, nonetheless. He looks down to check on the other, and sees he's not being pushed away like usual, he also isn't cursing him on his head either, so he lets his shaking arms as they are around the boy. As casual and calm as he can, he explains himself, “You look like you need a hug. Had a rough day?”

The curtain closes and Jihoon drops the facade he'd been putting on the whole day and allows himself this small joy. He rests his forehead on Daniel’s chest and he exhales, “Well, yeah, I'm so tired, hyung. Everyone’s so annoying. ”

The answer evokes a hearty laugh from the other, his hug tightens around Jihoon. There’s this feeling of proudness that he's not included in ‘everyone’, Jihoon  is giving him a special place, yet he doesn't know exactly where it is. He wonders if normal friends also hug this long.

Within Daniel’s hold, Jihoon feels grounded. He didn’t even know he was unsteady until now. He thinks of the last time someone has hugged him, _Well, Woojin tackled me last night, does that count?_ He thinks about it again, _Maybe not._ It's been quite a while since he's been given a real hug, not a quick hug to say hi or goodbye, but one meant to linger for a bit, one meant to make you feel loved. He wants to stay within this safety zone of his, to heal when he didn’t even know he’s wounded. But there’s this guilt, sharp and persistent, stabbing him from the back, whispering   _you're not worthy, you're just using him, you're so selfish-_

“Hyung,” Jihoon couldn’t bare the burden of those whispers so he lies with a smile, “I feel much better. You can let go now. ”

Daniel is quiet. He desperately wants to tell the other, _You can use me if you want. Be selfish, it’s ok, I won’t mind._

Unfortunately, Jihoon isn’t the one able to read minds and Daniel isn’t one to be assertive and aggressive. Before their heartbeats get  a little too loud to reveal the secrets they each hold, they take a step back.

“Is that so?” He lets him go and fakes a chuckle, “See? A little hug can go a long way.”

\-----

“Go on, let's see it." Daniel sits on the opposite side of the table, awaiting for Jihoon to begin.

The other looks at his cue cards and hesitates. His glad Daniel is willing to help him practice his parts for the presentation but he’s finding it difficult to even begin. To motivate him, Daniel comments, “If you can't even present in front of one audience, how do you expect to do so in class? It's all about practice. Come on now." Jihoon continues to stay silent and conflicted so he makes a suggestion, “Pretend I’m naked then.”

 _Naked?_ These words sure got the small boy finally looking at Daniel rather than his presentation notes.

“W-why is your face turning red? Ya! Stop imagining it!” Daniel attempts to shield his body with his hands, covering his chest and that thing below.

“I-it’s not what you think!” Jihoon looks away to the side, trying to hide his flushed face.

“I didn’t know you were this perverted!”

“Hyung!”

\----- Presentation Practice Take 2!!-----

“If we look at the graph, it appears certain that there will be a number of illnesses and conditions for which psychological intervention will be shown to be among the most cost-effective treatment options- ”

“Jihoon-ah, you need to make eye contact. You can’t just read the paper the whole time." By now Daniel is in a comfortable sitting position, his arm rested on the table and supporting his head. Who knew he was going to be granted this time to just sit and look at Jihoon endlessly.

"L-l-looking at the graph," Jihoon follows and lifts his head up from the notes his holding and makes eye contact with Daniel who’s full attention is on him. He exhales and could feel his tensed body shaking along, "Hyung, I can't concentrate if you look at me like that."

"Like what?" Daniel is intrigued to know.

What could Jihoon say? It isn't Daniel's stare that is causing the problem, it’s how his body is reacting to it. He turns his head away once more and lowering his bangs to hide his eyes.

“Ya!” Daniel chuckles,  “Are you imagining things again?”

_N-NO!_

\----- Presentation Practice Take 3!!!-----

Daniel promised to zip his mouth and sit still this time around. The floor is awfully quiet, only the dust moves in between rays. Jihoon halts, breathing in to begin his first word but collapses into a fit instead, “I can’t do it, hyung!” Jihoon throws his hands in the air, possibly along with his GPA and a bright future, all because of a stupid presentation.

“Are you crying?!” Daniel quickly checks on him.

“I’m just going to flop this and become a hobo!”

Daniel finds it cute but he understands how grave of a situation it is for Jihoon who could barely order tea for himself. He tries to give the boy some insight in hopes it can change the way he thinks about the current dilemma at hand, “Come on, it won't be as bad as you're imagining it to be. Do you actively listen when other people present?"

Jihoon shakes his head, “Right? They're all on their phones wishing the class would be over. What you've got to do is focus on what you're saying. Don't worry about other people’s opinion because they're not even listening. Ok? “

Jihoon doesn’t reply, which Daniel knows by now means yes.

“Good,” he ruffles his hair, “Now let's practice again.”

 

* * *

Life and Love Advice with Park Woojin-seonsangnim

 

“Ohhh chocolates~ Share some~” Woojin extends his open hand to the golden wrapped box in Jihoon’s hands.

Jihoon willingly hands him the whole box and comments, “It's from that creepy guy in school.”

“New one?” Woojin has already unwrapped the golden foil and started eating.

Jihoon nods, “What do I do? He keeps giving me weird looks,” and he shivers as he recalls Jaehwan’s creepy smile, “Ugh!”

The answer is quite easy in Woojin’s philosophy, "When he glares at you, glare at him back! You have to stand your ground!" Easy as that. Woojin wonders why Jihoon couldn’t come up with these type of solutions. His friend always has his ways to exacerbate the problem much bigger than it should be.

“Won’t that be rude?” Sure he might find Jaehwan’s given attention disgusting and quite disturbing, especially the way his eyes stick to him like mold cheese, but he also doesn’t want to hurt the other’s feelings.

Woojin sighs, “You’d have an easier life if you just stop being overly sensitive. Come on follow me,” he concentrates the muscles around his eyes and brows, crunching them into a sharp and menacing glare.

He points at his friend who has unconsciously been mirroring Woojin’s expression, “Try it. You've got to put more eyebrows in there! More! MORE! There we go! BAM! The look with intent to kill! Let's see if that guy still has the nerve to come close to you!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 Chatters of how are you’s from acquaintances, giggles from friends sharing the latest memes, and talks about plans for the coming weekend fills the campus. Among the noise, one particular conversation grabs the interest of the Sun because of the speaker’s complete naiveness and unbelievable stupidity that the Sun almost called Lightning, his yoga buddy every Wednesday, to strike the damn boy.

 

Jaehwan opens his mouth and continues his delusions, "I think he likes me.”

 

"Are you sure?” Minhyun has laboriously spent the past 15 minutes trying to clarify and iron out what just happened to his oblivious friend. What actually happened? Let’s just say Jihoon practiced Woojin’s advice the moment he saw Jaehwan and Minhyun walking towards him near the school’s department store exactly 15 minutes ago. Minhyun points out, “He looked like he was about to fight you."

 

"No no no,” Jaehwan shakes his head, smile never leaving his face since Jihoon’s face blessed his morning, “He was shy. Didn't you see his cheeks blushing?"

 

"Yeah from the cold. It's -15 degrees right now."

 

"No, you don’t understand. He had never looked at me before everytime I give him chocolates but this time he couldn't even take his eyes off me. Those deer eyes, my heart can’t take it,” He holds his chest.

 

"You know what, nevermind," his friend sighs. He tried and now he realize what an impossible task it is, "I feel bad for the small guy. He just attracted a weirdo."

 

\---------

 

“Another one, huh?" Daniel points out a box of chocolate Jihoon had just taken out of his locker.

 

Daniel notices Jihoon has recently been getting gifts here and there from a lame guy he saw was carrying a guitar. What worried him was that Jihoon would never turn him down, keep the gifts and take them home.

 

“Just return in to him."

 

Jihoon sighs, “How can you expect me to turn away food? Wait can you hold it for me, I’ll just keep it in my bag."

 

Daniel openly takes it and with one swift fluid sway of his hand, transports it to the open trash can right beside him.

 

“HYUNG!” Jihoon yells at Daniel, “ Why'd you throw that away?!”

 

He feints ignorance, stubbornly arguing, “Didn't you say ‘Wait , can you throw it for me?’ ”

 

“NO! I said HOLD IT!” Jihon drops his bag on the ground and starts folding his sleeves up his arms.

 

The tone of his voice is deep and shrill, piercing through Daniel’s already sulking heart, _Why is he mad at me?!_ He only wanted to joke with the other, and maybe a hint of ill-intention towards the unwanted gift, but now he feel a growing sense of jealousy. More lies come out of Daniel’s mouth, “My bad, I'm having hearing problems nowadays.”

He sees Jihoon walking to the trash can, bending over to scans its content.

 

“Hey! Are you actually going to get it still?!”

 

“I might not like him, but he made the effort to give it to me,” the following he mumbles to himself,  “At least he had the courage to give chocolates to the person he likes. “

 

Guilt hovers over and burden Daniel’s chest, yet the conflicted feeling of jealousy clouds his mind, _Why do you care so much about him?!_

A question escapes Daniel’s mouth, “Do you like him?”

 

“What are you even asking? Of course not!”

 

“Promise?" His voice comes out desperate like an insistent jackhammer.

 

In disbelief, Jihoon lets out a cynical laugh, _‘Promise?’ Are you a kid?! Come on and help me look for it!_

 

Daniel stays silent and walks away as the other continues to look for the goddamn chocolates.

 

“Hyung! Are you really not going to help me?” Jihoon calls out to him, “Fine! But show up for practice!” He waits, yet still no reply from his hyung not even a wave for goodbye.  Jihoon wonders if maybe he went too far, _But you never minded even if I screamed at you before…_ He exhales,  “Gosh, I don’t understand you sometimes.”  

 

\--------

 

 _Was I too sensitive?_  Daniel ponders as he walks to the library to meet Jihoon, on his hand, a peace offering to make up for his immature behaviour this morning. But he couldn’t help feel frustrated. _I’m stuck in friendzone, aren’t I?_ He broods over the hopeless fact that he has no right to get mad, Jihoon isn’t his. He knows he has to learn to let it go when others might be too close to Jihoon than he wants them to be. He has to keep his cool when Jihoon is oblivious to these things and allows people to take advantage of him. He can’t interfere with what Jihoon wants to do, whether it be keeping a gift from some stranger. He reminds himself these things but all his thoughts loosens and escapes in the air when he sees Jihoon by the small park in front of the library talking to the same stranger with the lame guitar still glued to his back like a pair of devil wings. He stops, sits on an icy bench, and watches the two of them. When the two part ways, he waves to Jihoon to come over.

 

“Oh! Hi hyung,” Jihoon smiles as he approach him, “Were you waiting for me? I thought you were going to leave me hanging for practice because of what happened this morning.”

 

Daniel doesn’t respond to the statement and instead comments on what he just saw, "You guys seemed close. What were you talking about?"

 

"You mean Jaehwan-hyung? I just needed to straighten things out with him." Jihoon failed to recover the chocolate amidst the banana peels and spilled coffee and other gross mix of garbage in the trashcan he’d rather not describe. From experience, he decided not to let the situation continue. It’s better to confront him and honestly tell Jaehwan to stop courting him.

 

"Oh, so you know his name now?” Daniel’s voice is flat and hard, “You make friends easier than I thought you would..."

 

"He approaches me everyday, it just happened that way."

 

"Wow, casually meeting people now I see..."

 

He hears Jihoon’s laughter, scarring his  insecurities deeper, “What in the world are you blabbering about Daniel-hyung? You almost sound like your jealous."

 

"I am."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Here. Your chamomile tea. I forgot I've got to go somewhere else." He hands the warm papercup to him and briskly heads toward the main building. Jealousy clouded his brain once more, drowning Jihoon’s voice calling out to him from behind. But more than anything, he is frustrated with himself. He’s angry at the feelings he can’t even describe, mad that he couldn’t just relax and let it go.

 

The next day, Jihoon calls out to him, however, Daniel’s not ready to talk just yet. Too much emotions is building up in his chest,he wanted to spend some time alone from the other. _I can’t keep throwing tantrums here and there. I can’t keep feeling this way._ He continues to walk, pretending not to hear Jihoon. And he does it once again during lunch time. And again after classes. He stopped replying to his messages and even skipped their study sessions in the library. The following days, he does the exact same thing until Jihoon stopped calling  out to him all together. Jihoon himself starts avoiding him too, walking the opposite direction whenever their eyes meet. Daniel’s heart sinks a little further down at the sight of Jihoon’s shoulder slouched and timid rushing to get away from his sight. He regrets his own actions and groans, _This isn’t what I wanted..._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dinner is prepared on a humble short-legged wooden table. The two sits beside each other on the floor as the recent episode of their new favourite variety show, 'All the Butlers' plays in the background.  _Hm_ … Woojin observes his friend mindlessly staring at the steam coming out of the freshly cooked rice. Jihoon would always be the first one grabbing food and stacking them on his plate. But the other had been quiet for a couple of days now. He assumed it’s just another major character death in some book he’s reading but to skip on food is something else. "Well, this is new. Are you on a diet?"

“Woojin-ah,” Jihoon finally opens his mouth but his voice is lifeless and breathy.

“Hm?"

“Am I annoying?" His head hangs down, staring on the floor, fingers tensely tugging on his white socks.

“Yeah,” Woojin quickly replies as he eats dinner, “Super annoying actually. I don't know how anyone can stand that sappy ass of yours without getting sick of you. “

“Right..?” He quietly acknowledges as he bites his lower lip harder, “I thought so…”

“I'm glad you agree. Be thankful you have a friend like me. Honestly I don't know where my great patience is coming from. Just imagine, you probably wouldn't put up with yourself if you were your own friend! You honestly don't deserve such a great person like myself-” Woojin stops, interrupted by muffled sobbing behind him.

“Jihoon?" He drops his chopstick on the table and holds Jihoon’s chin up to see his face, “YA! Why are you crying?! I was only joking!”

“Da-Daniel-hyung," Jihoon clumsily wipes the tears falling as Woojin frantically look for tissue.  
  
"Daniel-hyung? What happened?!"  
  
"He’s sick of me isn’t he? Ugh...why won't these tears stop falling?!" He wipes his tears too strongly it almost seems like he's scrubbing his skin off.  
  
Woojin isn't at all happy at the sight of his friend shedding tears. He propels one of his knee, preparing to get up, "This is the same tall guy who visited before, mole under his eye, with a fucking stupid smile?"

“Don’t say that…"  
  
"Where does he live again? With Seongwoo-hyung,right?"  
  
Jihoon picks up the gruff and anger in Woojin's voice. He grows wary, "Why are you asking?"  
  
"Just wait here," he leans his arms on the table to lift himself up. Fixing his shirt he reassures him, "I'll be back."  
  
"No, Woojin-ah!" Jihoon grabs him by the leg, "He'll hate me even more… "  
  
"Then stop crying over him!" Woojin flops beside Jihoon on the floor, frustrated that his friend has to waste his time crying over the giant.  _He's not worth your time, jihoon-ah._  
  
“I'm trying. I just can't. I'm so tired Woojin… " Weak and exhausted, he leans his head on Woojin’s shoulder. It's been in Jihoon’s mind for the past days. He tried studying but his thoughts always trail back to all the possible reasons Daniel had suddenly stopped talking to him and even stopped replying to his texts. He couldn't concentrate on his exam, and barely listened  to any if his lectures. He had had enough, “I don't want to go to school tomorrow…” There’s this feeling of fear in seeing Daniel. Jihoon concluded that his hyung must have been mad at him or, even worse, fed up with his company. Jihoon isn’t the type to care about being hated, but if it’s by Daniel, anxiety starts bubbling up just thinking about it to the point he couldn’t bare to face him whenever they happen to cross each other in school.  
  
"You have to! Don't you have that presentation to do?! You worked hard for it so your useless groupmates can just feed from it?!" That was another thing that irked Woojin. He wanted to teach them a lesson or two but Jihoon wouldn't let him, “Forget about him ok? If he's ignoring you then leave him be!"  
  
Jihoon shakes his head, rustling Woojin’s clothes.  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"I-I want to talk to him," he sobbed into his friend’s shirt.  
  
"Why d-” He sees Jihoon clenching his chest and panics, "What's wrong this time? Are you in pain?! "  
  
“This hurts everytime I think about him. It's tiring and exhausting. My chest feels heavy, I can't stop my brain from thinking until I get a migraine. I'm beat Woojin…I just want to rest tomorrow."

“Ok, ok, we'll talk about it later. Just relax and simmer down for now.” Woojin pats his friend's back  to calm him down. He sighs at the pathetic state of his friend and he’s confident he knows the cause of it, _You're_   _in love Jihoon-ah. Badly in love._ Jihoon isn't the type to fancy being with people, he says it's annoying. He knew something was going on when his friend decided to let Daniel stay beside him. To Jihoon, that in itself is something. _This Daniel-hyung of yours is stupid, isn't he?_

Jihoon clenches his stomach with his other free hand.

“Did you eat anything today?”

The other shakes his head.

“I’ll order your favourite, fried chicken! You have to eat ok?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It's the long awaited Friday morning and students are rejoicing all across the nation. Tested by history, students  have often avoided enrolling in classes on Fridays in order for them to have a long weekend, I myself can speak truth for that. So, in result, the campus is much more deserted, less hustling in the hallway, and much more quieter than usual. It is a slow day for most people, even to a couple of squirrels that have recently gone out of in the midst of hibernation, exploring the dead winter campus and probably shock by the lack of greenery. Rushed and vigorous steps causes the three squirrels to scamper away back into the warmth of their tree houses perhaps much better for their own safety. The two busy feet rushing to the library belong to Kang Daniel. Daniel himself does not have a class on Friday, not for the reason the majority has, he just enrolled too late in the year when most classes are already full. That’s why he didn’t expect to get a call from Woojin asking for Jihoon’s whereabouts.

Daniel remembered Woojin’s voice, worried and strung out, “That guy’s not replying to my messages! He looked really worn out since yesterday. I don’t care if you guys are fighting but can you just please check on him?! Today was the day of his presentation, who knows if that guy is mulling and crying by himself!”

Daniel didn’t hesitate and changed as quickly as he could, not having the luxury of time, he wore the same pair of jeans he had worn for three days straight now. Grabbed his jacket and went out with his bed hair. Half-awake he was able to drag himself to the same old European building so familiar to him he could probably reach it with his eyes closed.

In the usual table where they sit every afternoon, he sees the boy, his head down on the table hidden and dipped in his arms. He approaches him gently, placing his hand on the back of his head, missing the warmth that being around Jihoon brings him, “Jihoon-ah”.

Jihoon lifts his head but refuses to look Daniel in the eye, “Hyung?" Daniel hears tiredness in his voice.

He replies to him softly, "Why are you still here? Woojin is looking for you,” he bends down to meet him in the eye and sees the bags under his eyes, "Wait, did you cry? Was the presentation that bad?"

Jihoon shies away from him and denies it.

Daniel insists and kneels down beside his chair, "Why are your eyes swollen?"

“I took a nap,” his voice croaks and he clears his throat before he continues, “I just woke up.” He’s being honest. Sleepless nights had caught up with him and after the presentation, he ended up sleeping as the adrenaline rushes through and subsides.  _You helped me practice, well_   _you did_   _until,_ Jihoon  though it'll be best to change the subject, _anyway,_ _you were right, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be..._

“Is that so? But still you look-”

“Hyung, I'm fine.”

Daniel sighs, “Ok.” Silence fills the space between the two. Jihoon curses himself, worried he angered his hyung even more. Instead, he hears Daniel chuckling right after, “I can see that now, you drooled. Aigoo, come here." Daniel cups his chin and with his other hand, he carefully wipes his face with his sleeves.

It’s these casual touches that Jihoon misses. He doesn’t resist and lets Daniel do as he pleases. Jihoon leans closer towards him and hesitantly asks, _You’re not mad at me anymore?_

“No,” Daniel smiles at him with his soft gaze, “I was never mad at you.” The innocent smile and his gentle voice that always wants to reassure Jihoon, few more things he took for granted. He feels the heaviness in his chest lifts, freeing him from the load he’s been carrying the whole week. The feelings that suffocated him seems to have vaporized, leaving his body as tears welling up in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks. Daniel panics as he hurriedly wipes them, “See?! You are crying!”

“That’s not it,” Jihoon turns away and forcefully wipe the tears from his face, “Ugh, give me a second.This is so annoying!” The tears won't stop falling and Jihoon whines,"It’s all your fault!”

“Me?” Daniel’s confuse, “What did I do?”

His ignorance ticks Jihoon’s nerves. He starts, “You hug me, you're nice to me, you hang out with me, and you buy me tea, then all of a sudden,” his sobbing increases as he continues,"you ignore me like I don't exist! And now, you wipe my drool and smile at me like nothing happened. You're goddamn confusing!” he sniffs as he catches his breath.

“Wait,” Daniel holds Jihoon by the shoulder and turns him around to face him once again, “You’re crying because of me?”

Simultaneously, Jihoon responds:

 _Yes, you dumbass!_ and “No, of course not!”

Daniel laughs, scratching his forehead, “Which one is it?”

Jihoon's mind becomes a whitewall, unaware how to make his next move. Before he falls deeper in the mess, he grabs his bag,"I-I’m going home!"

“I missed you a lot,” the words comes out abrupt as Daniel grabs his arm. Where the courage came from, Daniel could care less analyzing. What he knows is that somewhere in Jihoon’s hesitation is something he can hold on to, “How about you, did you miss me?”

Jihoon’s face flush an obvious shade of red. He has transitioned from wiping his tears with his sleeves to hiding and covering his face with them. Curving in, his petite figure shrinking, wanting to escape and disappear from oblivion.

“Why are you so red?” Daniel grins, “You missed me too, didn't y-”

Jihoon shush him with his palm and pleads, _Stop, hyung! Please don’t say anymore!_

Daniel takes the same hand covering his mouth, “I'm sorry Jihoon, that's what I’ve been doing this whole time but I've decided,” he interlocks their fingers and promises, “I won't hold back from now on."

 


	9. Blue sea and white lies

Daniel has Jihoon’s hand cradled in the space between their two legs. Daniel macks his lips together and resorts to staring out the window to suppress the butterflies going wild in his stomach and beating down his organs flying all the way to his chest. By the window, he sees Jihoon’s reflection, the boy is quietly sleeping with his head rested on Daniel’s shoulder. _He must have been really tired._ The bus halts at a stop, Jihoon jolts from his sleep and sees a flood of people rushing inside. Half-asleep and startled, he attempts to break from the other but Daniel holds his hand firmly and takes his beige scarf to cover their intertwined hands.

He gives Jihoon a knowing look and the other, with sleepy and droopy eyes, complains, _It’s still obvious, hyung_.

Daniel leans closer and whispers, “That’s only because you know about it." His gentle hands take Jihoon’s head and leans it back to his shoulder, “It’s alright so go back to sleep.”

The bus ride continues quiet and steady. Outside, the barren trees lining the street sways, awaiting the day when new leaves turn symbolizing the start of spring. But for now, the trees are patient and occupied, telling each other people’s secrets, like the one currently hidden and blanketed under a beige scarf. They pass it along to the oak tree, the pine tree, and the pebbles on the ground, all the way to the sea where it carries each word in the waves down to the seashells, nature's worst keeper of secrets. The pastel spiral shells would willingly sing the secrets they hold to any passerby that holds them by the ear. They hum in adoration to the love blossoming so warmly in the middle of a cold winter.

Who knew it was this easy to feel complete in life. Cloudy and cold, it doesn’t matter when Jihoon is right beside him and within his hold. _Is this why people get married?_ he laughs at his own impulsive question, _Too soon maybe._ Daniel’s thankful Jihoon can’t hear his thoughts or the younger boy might have gotten scared and overwhelmed by him. _For now, this is okay._

Jihoon’s bus stop flashes in the top screen. Daniel glances at the boy still sleeping soundly, long eyelashes and soft smile plastered on his face. He doesn’t wake him up and lets the bus pass his stop. He knows Jihoon will kill him once he wakes up but he’s prepared for the consequences. He rests his head on top of Jihoon’s and pleads, _Just a little longer._

 

 

* * *

A few hours ago

* * *

 

“Hey Jihoon, say something…”

A hand rests on Jihoon’s right shoulder, another on his left arm. Jihoon sits hopelessly, no way of escape with Daniel’s on his knee urging the boy to stay and listen. Daniel worries as the hushed seconds of the clock skips along.

“Are you sure?"

“Am I sure?” it isn’t quite the reply Daniel was expecting, “Of what?"

“What if your just confused, … I think hyung just likes taking care of people like me," Jihoon sees Daniel’s puzzled face, “You know, people who are weak and timid and always scared. “

Again with the self-doubt Daniel hates so much, “But you're not like that! I think you're actually brave and strong. Even if you hate speaking in front of people, you still try your best. When you don't want to talk to others, you still give them your time. You kept refusing to help me but here you are, still with me. You're nothing like the words you describe yourself. You're an amazing person Jihoon,” a shy smiles appears on his face, “Although, I do like taking care of you quite a lot but that's only because seeing you happy makes me happy. Does that answer your question?" 

 _Nnggggh.._..Jihoon’s mouth doesn’t move, and it’s chaotic in his head right now. Daniel almost feels his brain throbbing from the loud stream of thoughts, _I-I don't know! It's confusing! What if you're just deluding yourself! What if it's just infatuation and what you feel fades away?! What if you think you like me but you actually don't?! What if-_

"Aigoo, you're overthinking again,” he grabs his head and lifts it up, “Before you assume we won't work, can we at least try?"

_Huh?_

"Try to love me and see what happens,” Jihoon’s brain overloads. Daniel tries again, "You never get it unless said clearly don't you? I guess what I'm trying to say is,” he inhales as he muster the courage he’d been holding back and finally, for the love of god, confesses, “could I be your boyfriend?"

The last word that left Daniel’s mouth replaced all other thoughts in Jihoon’s head. _I-uh, wait, hm, hahaha_ Jihoon’s brain goes hysterical at the disbelief, it returns back to its senses and turns into a mumbling mess, _C-can we both pretend this didn't happen? Just let me go home hyung!_

"Nope,” Daniel cutely shakes his head, “not until you reply.” Jihoon can simply say either 'no', 'never in my life', or 'fuck you go to hell'. Daniel knows that and the fact that he isn’t replying properly urges him to continue, “I can stay here the whole day. I wouldn't mind holding you like this until tomorrow," he grins at him.

Jihoon covers his face with his bangs, a habit of his whenever he blushes, and nods and shakes in all possible directions a human head can turn to. Daniel laughs as he holds the boys head from exploding off his neck, “Jihoon, I need you to say it properly, a simple yes or no.” 

Saying no doesn't feel right. Jihoon knows that's not the answer. But saying yes... is scary. To Jihoon, it's not a simple matter of picking one or the other. He sees all the consequences that can arise from choosing either. He's lost and speechless, overwhelmed with what he wants and what he fears of losing. 

After listening to the turmoil inside the boy's head, Daniel tells him, "Don't analyze it Jihoon. I want your honest reply, not from your head, I want it to come from your heart. Is it a no?" Jihoon timidly shakes his head, "Then what exactly is it saying?" 

He gives up fighting, it's no use, when he throws his fear out the window, the answer comes out clear, "Y-yes, hyung." As the words escaped his mouth, he feels naked and vulnerable. He tries to move away from Daniel but instead of letting go like he promised, Daniel throws himself forward and embraces him, "Y-you said you'd let go.. " 

"I lied, " he smiles from ear to ear overjoyed. He doesn't want to let go of him, especially as he feels the boy recoiling back to his fear and worries. 

Hands sweating and uneven heart pulse, he gasps,  “You’re really unfair." His heartbeat goes out of control but so does Daniel's. He grows embarrassed, feeling his hyung's heart pounding as loudly as his own through their shirts. It's scary for Jihoon to be so vulnerable but hearing the other's heart just as frantic, let's him know,  _I'm not the only one..._ He slowly stops resisting, his whole body relaxes, and settles in Daniel's embrace.

 _That's right,_ Daniel snuggles the boy closer and reassures him, "You're not the only one."

 

* * *

 

  
“Jihoon,” he softly wakes the boy, “Jihoon-ah, we’re here.” Jihoon groans and nods. Daniel grabs both their bags and helps the unsteady boy get off the bus.

Beside the bus shed, Jihoon loudly yawns and stretches his whole body as high as his tiny arms could reach. He’s greeted by a cool fresh wind and the crashing of the waves in a distance. _Waves?_ In the two years he had lived in his neighbourhood, the closest thing to waves he has heard was a little boy peeing by the vandalized wall. He’s sensitive nose picks on the scent in the air, _It sounds like the sea… and it smells like the sea._..The boy’s eye snaps open, “Where are we?!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s the sea.”

_No shit Sherlock! I’m asking where exactly are we and why aren’t we in front of my neighbourhood?!_

Daniel cowers in fear and avoids his question. He insists to look around and observes where the bus had dropped them off. Little red and blue houses line the main road, the street itself is quite empty, except for the occasional bikes of locals. From afar, a group of fishermen makes a commotion by the port carrying a fresh batch of fish from a small white boat. He gets excited, “Look Jihoon! They caught so much fish during winter!” Jihoon’s not impress. Daniel sees the boy glaring at him still, with arms crossed. Daniel tries to pass it off with a smile but when Jihoon’s gaze wouldn’t budge, he plays innocent, “You see… I-I was also sleeping.”

“Hyung!”

“I’m sorry!” He hurriedly bows and puts his two hands together in front of Jihoon. The younger boy sighs, unable to continue being mad at Daniel when he does things like this. He turns and takes a look at the sea instead. He’d never visited one during winter before, he didn't think it made any sense. It was something forgotten after the summer heat is gone. But being in front of it on a winter day, seems to be just as refreshing and relaxing. The air is cool and light, the sound of waves drowns everything else arounds it. The water may not glimmer as bright as a summer afternoon, but the snow covered shore creates such a beautiful scene. “Right? I’ve never been to the sea during winter as well. I’m glad the first time is with you,” Daniel takes a peek at the boy’s reaction.

“Don’t look at me. I’m still mad at you.”

“Whyyy?~” Daniel shows him an aegyo but Jihoon’s busy already searching for the next bus on his phone.

The boy grunts, “It’ll take an hour for another bus!” Daniel lets out a triumphant yes and celebrates on the side. “Did you say something, hyung?”

“I said, oh no… these darn buses!” he gestures with his hand like a baseball player striking out. Jihoon doesn’t seem to notice the lack of enthusiasm in Daniel’s voice. He’s current worry is what to do for the next hour. Daniel finds the right timing and chimes in, “Do you want to eat then? I heard there’s a great noodle place here somewhere!”

“Heard it from who?” Jihoon curiously looks up from his phone, “Do you even know where we are?”

“Uhm… ah! My friend’s been here before! I saw it on his instagram! Yeah, the picture looked really similar to this place!”

“O….K,” Jihoon finds it suspicious,but there’s no point in wondering why Daniel’s weirder than usual, “Where is this noodle place?”

 _Shit, I forgot to ask them!_ Daniel clasps his hands together, “I have no idea.”

\---------

“Auntie, can we get one more bowl of seafood ramen?” Daniel places an order for his third bowl. He turns to Jihoon, who’s busy eating, and exclaims, “Can you believe we actually found this place?”

“Well,” Jihoon blows to cool down his noodles, “it was the only restaurant in the whole block. Unless the place your friend went to is down under the sea or located in the clouds above us, I think we found the right place.”

It's a cozy little red-roof shop. The authenticity of the area is displayed on the bamboo walls, including pictures of humongous fish caught by the locals, seashells of varying kinds, and of course, the smell of seafood cooking in the air. The old lady places Daniel’s order on the table and beams at them, “Why are two young handsome men here on a Friday?”

Daniel chews and forcefully swallows the food down his throat before replying, “You could say destiny led us here, auntie,” Jihoon coughs, a string of noodle almost went down the wrong pipe.

“Ahahaha! So charming!” she fondly pinches Daniel’s cheeks, “Do both of you have girlfriends? I’d love for you to meet my daughter.”

“Actually,” Daniel points to Jihoon and continues, “I’m on a date with my boyfr-OUCH!”

Jihoon twists Daniel’s foot under the table and warns him, _SHUT IT!_

A customer calls for another set of grilled squid, “Be there in a sec dear. You young boys sure are full of energy, take your time and enjoy your meal, ok? Free drinks in the house,” she winks at them before tending to the other customers.

_You should start calling her mother-in-law._

Daniel scrunches his nose with a cheeky smile, he teases the other, “Are you getting jealous?” Jihoon loses hold of his chopstick and the noodles drops in the bowl, splattering the hot soup, “Careful, you might get burned,” Daniel takes a tissue and wipes the spilled soup that landed on Jihoon’s face, “By the way, why didn’t you let me explain to her a while ago? Can I not call you my boyfriend?”

The word feels so strange to Jihoon, Y-you _don’t have to tell the whole world_ , he takes the tissue from his hand and blots his own face.

“Why not?”

 _‘Why not?’_ Wasn’t the answer plainly obvious? Jihoon had never been open about his relationships in the past. The fear of judgement always held him back, _They’ll give us weird looks, hyung._

“You think so? I think she looks like a nice old lady.”

“Well, you think everyone is nice hyung.” Not quite true, Daniel still holds remorse against this guy Jihoon calls Jaehwan-hyung. But what Daniel is more worried about at the moment is Jihoon’s reluctance, something in his thoughts bothers Daniel. He can’t quite grasp what exactly is causing unrest in the other.

“Who can I say it to then?” He takes a piece of shrimp in his soup and places it on Jihoon’s bowl, “What about my friends? My mom? My cats back home? What about Seongwoo-hyung?”

The name throws Jihoon off-guard and he freezes for a second before changing the subject, “You have cats?”

“Hm,” Daniel lets it go, “Rooney and Peter. They’re really friendly and cute. You’ll love them!”

“I wonder,” Jihoon eats the shrimp and Daniel begins to search in his soup for another one to give to him, “I’m not very fond of pets.”

“W-what did you just say?" Jihoon repeats the sentence word for word. It’s Daniel’s turn to freeze, his lifelong dream of marrying, settling down, and living peacefully with his partner and his cats forever and ever are crumbling right before his eyes, “Nonononononono-”

“What’s wrong with you? Some people like pets, some don't. You have to accept that."

“No, I’ll make sure you change your mind! We-we’ll work on that in the future!” Daniel’s world is shaking, worry is evident in his voice, “You have to meet them before you judge them, Jihoon-ah!”

“Okay, okay,” Jihoon points at the bowl with his chopsticks, “Eat your noodles before they get cold already.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The ocean exhales, sending waves to surge forward, thinning out and spreading to the shore until it can no longer reach farther. When the ocean inhales, the sea subsides back to deep end, bidding the sand a short goodbye. Jihoon finds it interesting and plays along with the sea. He gets as close as possible to the water and when a wave comes crashing to the shore, he runs backwards not letting it touch his shoes. Daniel stands at the back and watches over him. It’s nice to see the boy having fun, not stressing about due dates, not hurrying to get to class or get home, and certainly not surrounded by other guys. He couldn’t get enough of Jihoon’s wide smile, his face crafted like a masterpiece. The way his eyes curves into a smile, Daniel’s heart gushes out with adoration. When Jihoon walked back once again running from a wave, Daniel steps forward to meet him and hugs him from behind, “I caught a fluffy jellyfish~” Jihoon’s first reaction is to grunt and wriggles out of Daniel’s embrace, “Whyyy? It’s cold, let’s just stay like this for a while,” he brings Jihoon closer to his chest and buries his face in the crook of Jihoon’s neck.

Jihoon surrender for the fourth time today. He bites his lower lip and grumbles, _That’s why I keep telling you to dress warmer._

“I had no time. I was rushing because I was worried you were crying by yourself this morning.”

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not a crybaby… I-,” he searches for an plausible excuse, “just drink more water than the next guy.”

Daniel bursts into laughter, “That’s when you pee a lot Jihoon!” Jihoon curses him in his head, “Ok ,ok, you’re not a crybaby but,” he breathes into Jihoon’s neck and smirks, “You are my bab-” Jihoon elbows Daniel faster than lightning. He hated the word he was about to say so much, he might have hit him harder than he wanted to on a regular day. Daniel cries, “Should have seen that coming,” he groans holding the side of his stomach, “I.. think you just fractured my rib cage aw…”

The smaller boy takes the chance to escape from Daniel who’s bending in pain, “I know you said you won’t hold back but fucking give me time to get used to it first! If you don’t stop with your goddamn cheesy lines, I also won’t hold myself back from sending you to the hospital."

“Ack… s-orry, I got it,” he writhes in pain, already on one of his knee.

Daniel curves into ball. Jihoon stands waiting for him to get up, but he stays and remains bent on the sand. “H-hey!” Jihoon squats down to check on him, “Does it still hur-”

“Look! A seashell!” Daniel straightens his back and reveals what he’s been inspecting on the sand the whole time. Daniel grabs it and shakes off the snow that buried it. He shows the other a closer look of it, “Isn’t it pretty?!” He grins like nothing happened.  
  
“Wh- huh? I thought you were-” Daniel cuts him off and shakes the seashell in front of him, signalling him to look at it. Jihoon takes and inspects the cold empty shell, the cream coloured shell spirals into delicate grooves, a colorful mix of rose and yellow dandelion decorates its surface. “It is pretty... I haven’t seen one in ages,” he places it on his ear.

“What are you listening to?” 

Jihoon isn’t quite sure either, “I always hear people saying that you could hear the sound of the waves if you place them by your-hah..." there's an itch building at the tip of his nose, when it goes away he proceeds, "by your hah..hahCHOO!!” he sneezes so strongly he loses balance and falls sitting on the cold snow-covered sand.

“Jihoon!” Daniel quickly stands to help him back up, he groans as the side of his rib still hurts from earlier. When he offers Jihoon his hand, he's startled when the boy suddenly starts convulsing in laughter, “Wh-what’s so funny?”

“I-I...hahaha, I sneezed and fell on my butt.. Pffft.. ” it’s been quite awhile since he heard him laughed out loud. He doesn’t know what about falling on his ass after sneezing is so funny, yet he feels so much lighter with each laugh that exhales from his lungs. People from a far might be wondering what two goofballs are doing stumbling here and there but he couldn't care at the moment. He leans back and completely flops down on the snow and sand. 

Daniel finds the boy’s random behaviour amusing and chuckles, “Did you eat something weird in the noodle place?”

“I don't know, I just suddenly feel really happy," he feels like all his worries amounting to nothing. He gets lost in the sound of the tide rolling into the shore. Maybe he could just disappear like this, be stuck in this very second, with the silver lining between the grey clouds above the empty beach, alone in Daniel’s company. He find it's not to so bad straying from his repeated routine of school, home, and work. He hums out of nowhere, “I like it here~”

“If you like it here so much,” Daniel lays down beside him, “Should I buy a mansion over there then?” Daniel points at the vacation cottages scattered alongside the shoreline. 

“Pfft, like you could afford one,” Jihoon lifts the shell towards the sky and plays with it, “We’re students, young, dumb, and broke.”

“I can sell one kidney in the blackmarket,” he reaches out his hand to the seashell Jihoon’s holding, “What do you think?”

Jihoon ignores his hyung’s obvious attempt to touch his hand, “I think you’re stupid.”

“I’d honestly do it,” Daniel turns his head to him, “If you promise to live with me.”

Jihoon chokes on his breathe, _I-I think you’re just honestly asking for this seashell to smash you in the face,_ he snatches the seashell away from his hand, and scooches a little farther from Daniel and reminds him, “You hold back, and I’ll hold myself back from having a criminal record, ok?”

“Hahaha, ok, I got it. I was only joking,” Daniel snickers as he brings his hand down, _Not really._

\--------

The long awaited bus door slides open and the two hurries back to the comfort of warmth, just as snow begins to fall. They place their bags on the floor in front of them and shivers as they settle down in the seat. “Oh!” Jihoon stand back up and reaches in his pocket, “I almost sat on it.”

In his hand, the familiar seashell they found by the beach, “You brought it with you?”

“Uh-huh,” Jihoon sits down beside Daniel and zips open his bag to safely keep the object, “For remembrance.”

 _Remembrance?_ The fact that Jihoon wanted to remember today puts a smile on Daniel’s face, and sprinkles a little love on his heart, "I have you as my remebrance," he teases the boy. 

Jihoon's hand clenches into a fist. Daniel flinches, about to prepare from his tough love. But Jihoon's expected punch never lands. Instead of a fatal blow, he feels a hand on the right side of his torso, which is probably already bruised from his neglect of it. 

"Does it still hurt? " Jihoon caresses it softly. 

"Just a bit," he lies, not wanting him to feel guilty about it. 

"Pffft... You couldn't even stand straight or walk properly on our way to the waiting shed earlier. And now that I think about it, you tried to distract me with that seashell," Daniel just giggles from being found. Jihoon sighs, "Make sure you put some ice in it when you get home, " after a long pause he apologizes,  _I'm sorry, hyung._

"I'm telling you it didn't hurt that badly. But if you want to make it up to me," hesistantly Daniel asks, “Let me hold your hand again... ”

The other shrinks into his jacket from the unexpected request, _W-why are you asking for that?!_

Daniel heartbrokenly plays with his fingers and pouts, “Because you told me to hold myself back a little bit…”

 _What I meant is why do you have to ask me such a question?!_ Jihoon face burns hot red, _Just hold it if you want to!_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

\------------------ 

Two couple loudly enters the bus stirring Daniel from his sleep. He lost track of how many stops they've passed from Jihoon’s neighbourhood. He looks outside, trying to figure out where the bus has taken them, a place not quite look their city anymore. In the horizon, he sees a thin blue line.

“Honey, can we dropped by the sea today?” the two couple sits down at the very back of the vehicle.

“Oh babe, you know I’m busy.”

“It’s only a few stops away, come on~ Just for awhile, I miss the noodle place we used to go to when we were dating.”

“How about next Saturday? I promise I’ll treat you somewhere fancier!”

“Hmph! What’s wrong with the noodle place?!”

“Th-that’s not what I meant. Babe...”

 _The sea? Hmm_  Daniel softly smile at the beautiful sleeping prince beside him,  _how’s that for a first date, Jihoon-ah?_

“Excuse me,” he quietly grabs the attention of the couple, trying not to wake the boy up he whispers, “do you mind telling me what bus stop is nearest to the sea you’re talking about?” he smiles at them, “My boyfriend right here,” he takes a moment to appreciate the words he had just said,  _Yup, I just said it, didn't I?!_  He didn't know how happy simple words can bring to one. He cheerfully continues oblivious to the ungrateful stares of the couple, “My boyfriend needs some time to rest and relax, I think it’s just the perfect place!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blue sea and white lies sounds like cheesy tv soap opera titles they have in the countryside but I like the ring to it <3 yes ik im corny….I’m planning on releasing a chapter for valentine’s day and I want to involve you guys in writing it. So if I may, I’d like to ask you for key words I could use for the next chapter. It can be as simple as “red roses” or as crazy as “an alien from space actually kidnaps Daniel” (ok maybe not this crazy pls dont write these type of things kekeke) Not quite sure how it’ll turn out but I’m excited. As always, thanks for reading (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I’ll see you on the 14th (hopefully)


	10. Where are we? Alone with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally missed Valentine's day, please forgive me OTL  
> Also, sorry I couldn't reply to all your messages OTL  
> But I enjoyed reading each one of them. You're very supportive and it's very heartwarming :'') Thanks to everyone who pitched in their ideas! It was fun to read and there were good ones I want to save for other chapters
> 
> Even though it's very belated, Happy Valentine's day! I hope that every single day you'll feel loved and cared for ^-^  
> -Brei

* * *

 

 

 

15-30 centimeters of snow is expected to fall and blanket the ground in the next coming days. Snowfall hasn’t stopped since early morning and the white little flakes are slowly building on top of each other, happy to have landed along with the other flakes after such a long journey from the clouds. Jihoon hums, observing the graceful movement of thousands of cotton balls accompanying him on his way to school. His phone rings, it doesn’t bother him like usual, he already knows who would be calling him early in the morning. Before he could greet the caller, the voice from the other line speaks, “Knock knock,” Jihoon replies with a good morning but the caller insists and repeats again still with the same enthusiasm. Jihoon can imagine him smiling on the other side of the phone, “Knock knock.”

 _Fine,_ he goes along with it, “Who’s there?”

“Ah-lab!”

 _Ah-lab?Is that a word?_ Curiosity peaks his interest and he continues, “Ah-lab-who?”

“I love you too,” the caller replies in a heartbeat. He waits for the other to reply but knowing Jihoon, he probably won’t. The caller gives an earthy laugh before continuing, “Be careful in the snow, Jihoon-ah. I’ll meet you after class, ok?”

Jihoon stutters, “Y-yes, hyung. B-be careful as well!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

As soon as the professor finishes the lecture, Daniel’s happy feet starts rushing to the coffee shop. He asks for the usual from the old lady who had a complete change of heart from their very first encounter. Daniel’s constant visit along with brief exchange of conversation is now something she looks forward to everyday.

“You seem happier than usual? Finally had some luck with that other boy you keep buying tea for?”

“Hehehe…” he scratches his head,  “It’s a secret, auntie”

“Aigoo,”  she hands him two cups, one americano and one chamomile tea, “love is not something you can keep as a secret. It will show itself no matter how much you try to hide it.”

Daniel swipes his card and takes the two drinks, “For now that’s the case, I guess. He said he’ll kill me and put my body in a barrel before he throws me at the Han River if I tell anyone anything.”

The old lady bursts into laughter, “I see, well don’t worry, I’ll keep my mouth lock tightly. Goodluck!” His happiness is apparent even in the way he bounces when he walks, “Secret? No such thing,” The old lady laughs once again, “It sure is fun to be young.”

 

__________________

 

Daniel stands by a classroom, two cups in his hands. He leans back and forth with his feet, patient but excited. It doesn’t take him even a second to recognize the figure of the boy from the crowd of student exiting the room. Jihoon has his head down while walking, and Daniel makes his way to meet him instead. “That colour really suits you.” Jihoon’s mustard yellow turtleneck peeks from his winter jacket. The boy finally looks up, his bangs messily  thrown on both sides, parting his hair in the middle.

He takes the tea Daniel is handing to him and responds, “You say that to every colour I wear.”

“What can I do? You’re just too good looking, Jihoon-ssi.”

 _I-brg-shfdgk-_ Jihoon’s buffering once again, his brain in a paper jam - _fjdsgls-ufgdd- STOP!_

Daniel snickers and combs through Jihoon’s bangs to fix them. Jihoon quickly takes a step backwards, “I-I can do it myself,” he clumsily brings his hands up to fix it, tilts the cup and ends up spilling tea on his sweater. Daniel goes closer to wipe the tea from his clothes. “I-I got it, it’s fine,” Jihoon grabs on the the part of the sweater that has been soiled, unwilling to let Daniel close to him.

“You won’t let me help?”

Jihoon clenches his sweater, _We’re in public right now…_

“Ok,” Devastated, he tries again, “Can you at least let me  hold the tea? You might burn yourself in this case.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jihoon occupies himself looking for a book, away from Daniel sitting on the floor at the end of the bookshelf with eyes closed. Jihoon assumes he’s probably sleeping as usual so he lets his guard down and his thoughts run free, feeling remorse from what happened earlier. He wonders if Daniel’s upset, _Is he mad at me?_ _Ugh,_ he looks down at his sweater, _Why couldn’t I just let him help?!_

“Jihoon,” the voice startles him, he looks back and sees Daniel signalling for him to sit. Hidden by the towers of bookshelf, right here is the only few places where Jihoon allows Daniel to get close to him. He follows, hesitantly he walks back and sits down on the floor. Jihoon feels air escape his lungs as Daniel leans closer and wraps his arms around his waist. Daniel’s chest glues itself to Jihoon’s back while his hair tickles Jihoon’s neck, which is Daniel’s favourite place to sleep in. “I’m fine. I understand so stop thinking about it,” he yawns, “It’s hard to sleep when you keep having bad thoughts, so think happily for me. I had to finish a paper last night so I’m really sleep deprived.”

Jihoon throws his head back to the other side, trying to increase the gap between the two of them. His sensitive skin burns red and his fearful Daniel will take notice how warm his body is becoming, “D-do you want to go back to your dorm and catch up on sleep….then?”

“Don’t want to. I can just sleep here,” Daniel shakes his head, rustling his hair before he kisses the side of Jihoon’s burning neck, “Wake me up if you need to go.”

A shiver goes down Jihoon’s spine and he prays to the heavens, _For the love of god, I have done nothing wrong! Spare my innocent life!_ He knows very well that Daniel is aware of how his small touches are affecting him. But unlike before, there’s no impulse to push him away. _Is there?_ He pauses and searches for even an ounce in his willpower to elbow Daniel, maybe punch him, or ANY violent aggression at all, but there’s nothing. His body goes weak and limp and he’s left to fall in Daniel’s embrace. He just can’t get used to it. _Is this something one has to get used to?! I don’t think I can!_ He hears Daniel mumbles as he tries to sleep and remembers what he’s been told. He forces himself to think about other things, happier things. _Yes, that new research about cortisol and introverted behaviours in mammalian species. Some good stuff right there. And that new perspective on looking at schizophrenia as a continuum is growing to become more helpful with people’ acceptance of the diagnosis. Yes, yes, great psychology progress we are having. Man, the world is becoming such a beautiful place. OH! That stroke treatment that can now repair damaged brain tissues! Can you believe that?!_

“Jihoon...” This isn’t what Daniel expected when he asked Jihoon to think happier thoughts. Jihoon became so enthusiastic that Daniel is more awake than before.

“Y-yes, hung?” Jihoon bites his lower lip, _D-did I do something wrong_ **_again_ ** _?_

“No, no, everything’s fine. Nevermind. I just,” Daniel hugs the boy even tighter, wanting to bring him as close as possible, “I just really love you.” Jihoon wonders if this is the part he says ‘me too’ but refrains himself when he misses the timing.

 

 

* * *

 

_Dear Diary,_

_Long time no see. Sorry for not writing often, things have been quite messy lately for me, I don’t even know where to begin… I think I’m failing at this ‘dating’ thing. I’m pretty sure Cupid find me so detestable he’s probably trying to get his love arrow back. It just feels weird... Even then, I find myself happy these days. Super happy. I feel like flying sometimes. Daniel-hyung… I’m happy because of him. But I don’t know why I just can’t have the guts to tell people. I wonder if we can just go on like this?_

What follows are lines of striked out sentences, illegible scribbles. At the bottom of the page, the chaos of his mind subsides, his consciousness comes back with readable writing,

_Niel said I shouldn’t think about negative things, and I do try not to because I don’t want him to know about them either.I want to make it up to him… Maybe this Valentine’s day? But I'm broke as hell-_

“Goddammit,” Jihoon sighs and stops typing, “What do I do?”

 

______________

 

Woojin watches his friend mops and rolls back and forth on the carpet floor and groans, _Why is he so annoying?_ Jihoon had had other boyfriends before and Woojin is always the first and only one to know. The guy can’t keep a secret from him or maybe Woojin is just very keen about the matter. Either way, he had never seen Jihoon actually this serious in a relationship, usually he’d just let the other person lead him. When he’s asked to go somewhere, he says yes, when he’s asked to break up, he doesn’t object. It pissed Woojin as Jihoon would come running back, vent, and cry to him in the past but this Jihoon right now also pisses him off, “Does it have to be materialistic? There are other ways to show people you love them,” Woojin winks at him, “you know what I mean, right?” Jihoon’s face is blank so he points it out, “Use your body, dumbass.”

Jihoon punches him hard, “Where are you learning these things?!”

“Ouch, I was only joking,” he whines, “What’s up with Valentine’s day anyway? It’s overrated! Consumerism is what’s driving it.”

“You’re just jealous,” Jihoon goes back to his laptop to research. Something about Woojin said gave him an idea, “You still have time. There must be someone you’re interested in.”

Woojin scoffs, he’d rather spend the day hanging out with Jihoon like they always do, “I don’t like this Daniel-hyung. Why are you choosing him over your bestfriend?!”

“Of course, why shouldn’t I? Daniel-hyung doesn’t steal my cereal unlike someone, he doesn’t wake me up at night to complain about forgetting to wash the dishes unlike someone, he doesn’t wrestle me for the last piece of chicken unlike someone. He’s nice and generous,” Jihoon looks at Woojin and smirks, “unlike someone.”

“Blah blah blah,” Woojin walks away before his blood boils, “You just like getting spoiled.”

“Me? Spoiled?! It’s ‘love’ Woojin!,” Jihoon yells at him through the door, “I like being love! Everyone does! Get it right!” He should have known better than to ask him for advice. ‘ _Spoiled’ my ass,_ he angrily types away at his keyboard. He liked Daniel-hyung because he makes him feel like he actually matters. Unlike his previous relationships, he doesn’t have to walk the thin thread of assumptions. Daniel shows it through his actions and words, sometimes too much for Jihoon’s liking, but he’s grateful. A thought strikes him and his hands freezes midway the keyboard, _Have_ **_I_ ** _ever showed Daniel-hyung I love him? Have I even said it? Ah shit!_ He grunts and flops back to the carpet and stares at the ceiling, _Is Daniel-hyung walking a thin thread?_

 

“I am spoiled, aren’t I?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
“Jihoonie, my love,” Jaehwan scooches closer to his dongsaeng, “How about spending Valentine’s day with hyung?”

“Yuck! Do you know how creepy you sounded just now?” He only agreed to eat with Jaehwan because it was free, and money is something he’s desperately saving right now. In addition, he doesn’t mind spending time with his friend Minhyun who he found out was the vice-president of the undergraduate psychology club. He’s trying to get a position in the club next school year, and Minhyun had been very helpful with answering his questions. But Jaehwan himself, he’s not quite sure what to make of him, “Also, I already have plan.”

Jaehwan’s eyebrows sharply curves, “You do?! With who?!”

“Secre-” Across the hallway, Jihoon sees Daniel nervously walking beside a girl he hasn’t met before, “Daniel-hyung?”

“ D-Daniel? Who is this Daniel?!”

“Jaehwan-hyung, Minhyun-hyung, I have to go ahead. Thanks for the meal!”

 

Jihoon follows the direction they were headed and sees Daniel and the girl outside the back of the building, _What are they doing here?_ He observes as Daniel starts looking around for him, _I’m inside the building, near the staircase. Stop turning so much, she’ll think you’re a weirdo._ Daniel looks at his direction from where he was and meets Jihoon’s eyes, _Is this a confession?_ Daniel gives a subtle nod, _Focus on what she’s saying then, she’s making the effort to confess to you so you better listen properly._

 

“Oppa, were you listening?”

 

“S-sorry,” Daniel bows and apologizes, but says nothing after the girl confesses. He stands there awkwardly, Jihoon starts feeling secondhand embarrassment. Daniel’s wandering eyes searches for Jihoon again, the boy can almost hear him screaming help.

 

 _What am I going to do with you,_ Jihoon exhales, _Follow me: ‘I appreciate the feelings you have towards me.’_

He utters just as he was told, "I appreciate the feelings you have towards me."

_Good... Now say, ‘I know it must have been hard to tell me so thank you for mustering the courage to confess today. I honestly don't think I deserve this coming from such a beautiful person like yourself.’  And then thank her again._

"I- I know...it must have been hard to tell me so thank you for master...? No, uhm, what was it? Mustard...mustarding?"

_Are you fucking serious? Mustering!_

"Mu-mu-MUSTERING the courage for me today...to uhm confess your love. Uhm," He breathes to calm his nerves and proceeds with shaky voice, "I don't think you deserve this coming from such a beautiful person like myself... honestly! Thank you!"

"Excuse me?" The girl’s voice raises an octave higher which intimidates Daniel more.

Jihoon facepalms, _You were close enough, I guess. Just say you have someone already and get out of there._

"I-I have someone already."

"Really, you do?” the girl crosses her arms, “Who is it?"

Now this is something Daniel can happily answer. Enthusiastically he replies, "He's a really adorable fella! His name's Ji-"

 _NO! STOP! DONT SAY MY NAME!_ Jihoon almost broke the glass window with how loud he screamed in his mind.

" **His** name? A guy? Daniel-oppa you're dating a guy? You're gay? Omo... what a waste."

A thousand things a day pulls Jihoon’s nerve like a rubber band, but instead of tearing them apart, he let's go of these things even though it ends up hurting him, His pet peeve lists would span a few feet but he’s proud of his self-control. The moments when he had actually voiced out these things are so rare he could count them with his two hands. Today, he might need another one, “This fucking bitch! What's wrong with dating a guy?!”

"Jihoon?"

Jihoon bursts through the doors and storms to the girl, "I'm asking you! What's wrong with dating a guy?! Huh?! Just because I'm a guy suddenly I can't date him?! HUH?!"

"I-I think you should run,” Daniel holds the girl’s shoulders and gently turns her to the opposite direction.

"Pfft. Whatever," she slaps his hands and walks away.

 _‘Wh-whatever’?_ Jihoon’s neck vein almost burst seeing Daniel being mistreated, “To think I fucking tried to save your goddamn feelings from getting hurt when you confessed to MY boyfriend! How fucking dare you to repay him like this!” The girl continues to walk away and waves her hand to shoo him away. “This disrespectful kid!” he yells at her back, “Your eyeliner is fucking crooked!"

 _This is why I hate confrontations!_ Jihoon heaves, his body deeply inhales and exhales, exhausted from anger, _It’s too tiring!_

“You…” Daniel begins but when Jihoon angrily bats his eyes at him he cowers a little. .. _you called me your boyfriend for the first time._

 

_______________

 

"Why were you so nervous?! You weren't even nervous when you confessed to me!"

"I was! I felt like my heart was going to rip out from my chest. But I've rehearsed it a million times in my head. There was no way I would mess it up when it's for you."

Jihoon fixes his cardigan sleeves, swallows, looks around and murmurs, "What the heck is mustarding?"

"I don't know,” Daniel combs the messy hair around his head, “First time I've heard the word."

Jihoon obediently leans closer, "You need to read more," he mutters under his breath.

 

The chaos of events throws Jihoon off and made him forget something he wanted to ask Daniel.  _Maybe it's better this way,_ he wasn't even sure he could ask him that in person. He sends him a message instead:

 

 

 

 

 

> **My Jihoon** :
> 
> Do you have anything important on Wednesday?

                                                                                                                                                              **You** :

                                                                                                                                                              Hm?

                                                                                                                                                              Well, I have a class as usual

                                                                                                                                                              buttt nothing after that.

 

 

 

 

 

> **My Jihoon** :
> 
> Meet me after your class.

**You** :

                                                                                                                                                              y?

 

 

 

 

 

> **My Jihoon** :
> 
> Valentine’s day is on me so don’t even think about preparing for it.
> 
>  

Daniel’s face squished into a marshmallow smile with his bunny teeth showing he gushes, “You’re making me blush Jihoon-ssi.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The light grey clouds hangs high today. It covers the entire nation with rays of sun illuminating from behind. At the very least, Jihoon is thankful it had stopped snowing last night and the weather itself is only a few degrees below zero. Outside the window train, the sign of the two days long showers of snow is seen in the covered sidewalk, a feet pile of snow on rooftops, and on top of cars that passes them. The city of snow, Jihoon likes it. Almost as if the view outside is frozen in time, and he’s an outsider simply passing by when in reality this is the home he is leaving and will go back to at the end of the day. When the night falls, he’ll be sleeping in the same bed in the same apartment building in the same city of snow. In the end, it’s the same old day for everyone.

A warm touch wraps around Jihoon’s hand at the same time Daniel slides one of his earphone pieces into Jihoon’s right ear, “Thinking is good, especially reflections. It seems that everyone’s so busy with their lives they forget to take a moment to appreciate small things. But once your thoughts start leading you somewhere much darker, it’s good to listen to happy music. It gives your thoughts a path where they can lead instead, somewhere much hopeful, much more pleasant.” The music make its way to Jihoon’s ear, it’s similar to something you would hear playing in the background of cafes, soft and peaceful. There are no lyrics, just rhythm and the melody. Daniel fixes the other part of the earphone into his ear, “I like listening to these because you can make the story yourself depending on how the melody feels. Many songs want to badly  paint pictures of a love story or a parting story in their lyrics but sometimes I hear a melody and I can imagine a much simpler story that fits it, such as walking by a riverside alone, grazing through tall grasses in the field, or,” he turns his head closer to Jihoon and smiles, “even a train ride somewhere unknown. Seriously, where are you taking me?”

 

Jihoon coyly smiles a little, “Secret. You’ll know it once we get out of the station.”

 

Daniel whines only because he’s excited to see what the other has planned for the day. They go back and forth until the conversation changes into ‘How are you classes going?’ to ‘Oh, you’re an only child?’ and to something more meaningful for both of them like ‘What do you want to do after you graduate?’ and ‘How do you want to live your life?’. The music one listens to alone leads his or her thoughts to finding meaning in his or her life, but music shared between two people seems to lead both of them to find meaning in each other. Slowly, the city of snow disappears and the view outside the train transitions to white farm fields that span until horizon.

 

The train wheels clank against the metal rail as it chugs away leaving Daniel and Jihoon standing in the cemented platform, along with a few other people who seem to be locals. _Weird. I'd expect more people._ Of course Jihoon is glad with the lack of humans but something doesn't feel right especially since the place is considered a tourist spot, or at least that’s what it says in the website.

Daniel looks around at the desolated station and tries to reassure Jihoon, _“_ I guess we're just early?"

The entrance to the park situates itself right in front of the train station. Jihoon’s words were inaccurate. Daniel has gotten out of the station and he couldn’t quite get where they’re going, “Wh-where are you taking me again?” Jihoon tells him its a famous park, “Park? This looks more like a forest or a mountain to me.”

“They say the view up the **mountain** is really beautiful.”

Daniel raises a brow and smirks, “So it is a mountain.”

“Nope,” Jihoon giggles from the slip of the tongue, “it’s still a park.” Daniel finds his laugh so precious, he lets him win this argument.

The god of snow doesn’t pick favourites, it had fallen and coated the mountain, as well as the manmade pathways. Jihoon’s unsure where to even start walking, but Daniel follows him quietly regardless. He knows asking too many questions would just add stress to the boy. “There should be a set of stairs leading up to the top,” he informs Daniel, maybe his height can help in finding the damn entrance.

“Oh, is that it?” Daniel points to a red staircase peeking through the trees. The two make their way in the forest trying to make sense of the path that used to be there before the snow enveloped the ground. Breathing heavily from walking in slopes of white flakes, Jihoon impatiently rushes forward to check out the staircase.

_I am dumb. Fucking dumb!_

“What’s wrong?” Daniel gets there and Jihoon is defeatedly hunched on the ground like a ball. A big rectangular sign is pasted by the locked staircase gate and Daniel reads it out loud, “Closed-due-to-weather?”

“I should have called first… I’m sorry, hyung,” Jihoon slumps down on the ground, _Why am I always like this?! We fucking wasted our time! I even skipped a class for this! Nothing ever goes my way!_

“It’s fine, Jihoon” he looks around in between the tall dark brown deciduous trees that stems from the white ground and beams, “The way up might be close but this is still a forest- I mean park,” he stretches out his open hands to the boy sitting on the snow and asks, "shall we take a walk?”

 

__________________

 

‘Walk’ is an understatement to what Daniel and Jihoon committed to doing. The start wasn’t so bad, not far from the entrance gate was a dog park where owners are allowed to let their dogs off-leash. The only problem is the two weren’t aware of it when they entered the metal fences. They passed by several old couples walking their dogs, all of them were sweet and lovely. They exchanged short greetings and they were even given permission to pet the dogs. But when they were asked where their pet was so they could both play together, the two awkwardly laughed, scratched their heads as they hurriedly walked away and exited the dog park.

Unfamiliar with the place, they follow trees planted precisely in two lines to create a pathway. But things get confusing when the trees begins to overlap with the clear ground, they become more unorganized, straying from the once parallel lines. The two bicker about which turn to go to. Jihoon often wins the argument as Daniel doesn't put up that much of a fight. He doesn't even try. He often suggests in the manner of , ‘I think it's this way. What do you think?’ When Jihoon disagrees, he simply nods and follow wherever the small boy takes him.

So with Jihoon leading the two of them, they end up near cliffs, bushy dead ends, and steep slope of snow they had to hike over. He grunts and curses in the beginning but after a few failed attempts, he learned to laugh it off, maybe more sarcastically than he intended, "Did I ever tell you I'm spatially-impaired? Woojin won't even let me go around the mall by myself. But here I am navigating a forest.”

“You mean navigating a ‘park’ right?”

The corner of his eyes wrinkles and he giggles, “Right.”

“You know what,” Daniel leaps forward over a small icy puddle, “this is kinda fun. It’s like we’re on an adventure.”

 _Adventure? That’s one way to put it._ Yet Jihoon can't help wonder whether the probability of his death is increasing the farther they continue to make this date worthwhile. He reaches a peak of disbelief when he sees a metal arch gate. Inside are lines of tombstones poking form the white ground, “Is that a fucking graveyard?”

“OH, it is!” Daniel enthusiastically exclaims, “Do you want to go inside?”

“Sure why not? So when someone ask, ‘Oh where'd you go for valentine’s day?’ I can say hahaha you know, just the usual - a couple date, went to a dog park without a dog, stood at the edge of deadly cliffs, and to end it off with a bang, we had a romantic walk in the graveyard.”

“Or you can say we went to a famous ‘park’,” he drags him by the wrist and enters the creaky metal gates. At the start, Daniel naively forces Jihoon, but once they reached the end of the graveyard, it’s Jihoon who’s supporting Daniel’s shaking legs.

“Who was it who stupidly suggested to go here? Being scared of ghosts at your age, " Jihoon scoffs at him,"so lame.”

“Did-didn’t you hear the voices?!” Daniel has his arms wrap around Jihoon’s shoulders, “Aishh it was so scary!”

“Let’s go home then, hyung?" Daniel refuses and shakes his head, “Fine. But it’s hard walking like this. Here,” he removes Daniel’s arms and holds him by the hand, "much better, right?”

Daniel’s heart screams before bursting into pieces of multi-coloured confettis. Did he just have a heart-attack? Maybe. He’d have to arrange a checkup with a cardiologist when he gets back home to stitch it back together or better yet consult a psychiatrist because for the hundredth time since they met, he’s once again falling crazy in love with the person holding his hand. Jihoon waves a hand and calls out to him. He coughs and clears his throat, “M-much better.”

 

__________________

 

Some people argue it’s harder to walk in snow than on sand, but Jihoon doesn’t care about choosing a side, although tiring, he loves being taken to places by his own two feet. The harder the way, the more worthwhile the view. _If only it was open, we could have seen the whole place, even the city from up above… This date is a total fail isn’t it?_

“I disagree, my view right now isn’t so bad,” Jihoon looks up to see what view it is and he finds Daniel looking at him.

A smirk replaces the frown of frustration on his face and he bubbles a short chuckle, “I wish my view is as good as yours,” Jihoon watches as Daniel curves his brows and sulks, he thinks of things he could say to make the other one smile again but gives talking a rest. He brings their intertwined hand up and pats it three times like you would to console a toddler. Daniel lets out a snort, the two of them stare at each other and exchange sweet smiles. They continue quietly passing by bare trees with expanding branches reaching out to the sky. Then pine trees, evergreen and sharp needles, dried up pine cones on the ground reminding both of them the feeling one get during holiday season. The only noise are the snapping of branches from somewhere far and the sound of their footsteps in the snow. But faintly, Daniel could hear Jihoon humming a tune in his mind, the same tune they shared on the train ride.

“Why did you pick this place?” he gently swings their hands back and forth.

“I just wanted to find a place that’s not so crowded, somewhere quiet.”

“Isolated and quiet?” Daniel pretends to be flustered and teases him, “What were you planning on doing with me, Jihoon-ssi?”  

“Killing you,” his voice is flat and cynical, “I was planning on pushing you off somewhere high,” Jihoon steals a glance at his chuckling boyfriend. A few moments pass before he decides to continue, “I wanted somewhere far so I wouldn’t be scared of holding your hand or standing closer to you. I thought maybe if no one can see us, then I won’t be so afraid. I’m selfish, aren’t I?” Jihoon stops and tugs on Daniel’s hand to do so as well.

“I…” _I didn’t want to talk about this just yet. I was fine with leaving it as it is. That’s what I’m supposed to say, right? But, I think I’m the selfish one, Jihoon._ His jaw clenches, his eyes wander, doubtfully he admits to him, “-I was hurt when you told me not to tell anyone.” Unfortunately, courage, although respected and sought for by many, is a fleeting experience, once the words leaves his mouth, he grows restless regretting why he had to ruin the moment, “B-but if it’s what makes you comfortable, I’m willing to continue like this. I don’t mind…” he motions for them to continue walking, “Let’s go?”

“Daniel-hyung,” Jihoon refuses to budge, “I never expected we were both going to be a pathological liars after meeting each other _,_ ” Jihoon sees the way Daniel’s lips sternly closes whenever he pushes him away, or how his demeanor slightly loses its cheerfulness. Sometimes he feels he’s dragging him down. That maybe being around him is making the other less happier. Before Daniel could speak to tell him the right words to feel less guilty like he always does, Jihoon intercepts him and confesses, “I love you.”

“Huh?”

Staring on the ground, he begins, “I had this alternate dream in mind. I wanted to go to the top of the mountain, ambitiously dreaming that when we reach the top I can scream my lungs out to say I love you. I built the courage to do so, even if there were people looking, or at least I fooled myself into thinking I did. I had plan B figured out if I find my courage wavering. At the very least, I wanted to show you the view and tell you, ‘This is how much you mean to me. This is how much I love you’. I worried so much about how am I going to tell you but I realized something along the way here,” Jihoon lets out a nervous laughter, “I realized that I really love you. And right now, that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt, more than people knowing, more than their stares and what they might say. And I’m telling you this because I don’t want to be scared alone. In the end, I know I’m still selfish but,” he takes a step forward to be in Daniel’s embrace. He wants to hide his face in the other’s jacket and although his voice is muffled, he shares his heavy secret with him, “Daniel-hyung, I love you.”

Jihoon looks up and witnesses Daniel’s bright red face staring down at him. Daniel quickly turns away to the side, “Hyung?”

“Th-th-thank..you,” Daniel stumbles on his words.

“Were you listening properly? I said many things before I said I love you-,”

Jihoon embracing him while he leans his face on his jacket isn’t helping Daniel resuscitate his heart, _Uh-huh, cardiologists it is._

Jihoon feels Daniel’s body tense at the three words, “I was saying, I said many thing before I said I love you,” Daniel is now covering his blushing face with both hands. Jihoon gives up trying to explain to him and saves the conversation for next time. He softly laughs at the older, “Is it that hard to believe I love you?”

He talks through the hands that hides his face, embarrassed to look Jihoon in the eye, “Because you never said it before…”

“If I knew you were going to be like this, I would have said it earlier.” Daniel begs him to stop but Jihoon finds it amusing seeing him flustered for once. A wide smile makes its way up his cheeks, “What can I do? I can’t help it when I love you, Daniel-ssi.”

 

________________________

 

\-----------

 

\--------

 

\-----

 

-

Kang Daniel comes home with a smile that won’t leave his face and Jihoon’s humming repeatedly playing in his mind - as well as a 39 degrees fever.

“What the fuck did you do today?” Ong Seongwoo wrings the warm towel and places it back on his forehead.

“Hyung," Even though bedridden, Daniel manages to giggle like an idiot, “You won’t believe me even if I tell you.”


End file.
